I physically fought my dad yesterday and I just cant keep the thoughts out my head now.
Me and my family haven't been getting along too well recently and everything has been so tense around the house. my parent's passive aggressiveness drives me crazy sometimes and all I want to do is scream obscenities at them, which in most cases, I do. Dont get me wrong Im not getting mad for no reason at all, Im getting mad for things that I think could easily let go, but not so easily let go when we're both at this elevated passive anger. I dont wanna be that bratty kid but I have a low spectrum of autism and sometimes things come out with complete different intentions than what everyone else sees. Anyways we had this little argument, I having training from a psychotherapist and I employed one of his tricks and walked away to my room to calm down. But then my dad comes to my room, and he knows about the method that I was applying, yet he still came to my door and ranted off on a different subject. To which, my only reaction was to scream louder than him to get it through to his thick skull that I was calming down. Then he walks towards me menacingly and grabs me, starts wrestling me to the floor and pins me down. I was scared ****less and reacted really late, thankfully because I didnt want to actually fight him. my reaction was just resisting his bear hug and after breaking a few things in my room he stopped and we both looked at each other and I said :" what the hell was that". totally uncalled for, I've threatened my dad to punch him before in the past but I never would hit, ever. Nor did I in this altercation which proves that even when Im at raging levels, Im still a *****. which is fine with me in this situation, I just wished I wouldnt of been an ******* with my parents and call them horrible names like I did. maybe all of this couldve been avoided, I just needed to vent more than someone's opinion, but every opinion is welcomed obviously