It really gets to me... - Social Anxiety Forum
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 08:12 AM Thread Starter
Aesthetically Challenged
 
JohnDoe26's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: NYC
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,650
My Mood: Goofy
It really gets to me...

that I can't have a proper conversation with people. You know the type where everything just flows, you forget about yourself, and you enjoy the other persons company, and they (presumably) enjoy yours? I've never had that in years.

Anyone else experience this? Has it ever happened to you that you say something, and the person clearly struggles to say something back or doesn't say anything at all and there's a long awkward silence? I cringe so hard inside.

I'm sure the vast majority of you here have one or two friends at the very least whom you can talk to, even if it is online. I, on the other hand, seem to have lost almost completely the skill of conversation and social interaction.
JohnDoe26 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 08:29 AM
lost in the ozone
 
Lemmy4ever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: New York
Gender: Male
Age: 33
Posts: 96
My Mood: Sad
I don't seem to have any friends left outside of the internet, and with the only people I ever talk to it's never a smooth conversation. I have a couple of people I talk with a lot online, but even with them I don't have that sort of conversation that just flows smoothly. I will admit that it's easier for me to chat with someone online than it is in person, but I'm not too good online either especially when it comes to instant messaging. It sucks when someone I'm talking to will type out a massive paragraph to me and yet all I can do is respond with a sentence or two. With me it seems like once I get past the basic introduction then I just struggle finding things to say. I had one person that I had started talking with online recently and things seemed pretty smooth at first, but then I just got to that point where I couldn't think of what to say most of the time. The person always said something if I went too long without responding too, as if they were upset with me. Now I really don't talk with them because I have a feeling they don't want to talk to me because of the way I am.

I wish I knew what happened because I never felt so uncomfortable talking to people in the past, but these last few years I just seem to freeze up when trying to talk to anyone.

Marooned and stranded on the islands of the damned. There is no one on earth to take my hand.
Lemmy4ever is offline  
post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 08:38 AM
SAS Member
 
Rosefollicles's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Denmark, fyn
Gender: Male
Posts: 172
My Mood: Angelic
I experience it from time to time! But I also have enjoyable interactions from time to time. I am definitely in the occasionally awkward category of people.

Years ago, I got by day by day. I ticked them off, one day in the calendar at a time, all the while being slowly crushed. It's not as bad as it used to be.
Rosefollicles is offline  
 
post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 08:50 AM
SAS Member
 
OtterlyAbsurd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: USA
Gender: Female
Age: 19
Posts: 245
My Mood: Fine
I can totally relate to this! It's exactly what I'm really struggling with right now. I do have good interactions once in a while, though, so I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing differently during those.

OtterlyAbsurd is online now  
post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 10:13 AM
SAS Member
 
Magnable's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Europe
Gender: Female
Age: 25
Posts: 16
I know how you feel. Especially during holidays like now. So, Im talking to myself in my head.

But talking with others is also boring Sometimes, they talk too much. It tires me and makes me sleepy.
Magnable is offline  
post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 01:26 PM
SAS Member
 
That Random Guy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: America
Gender: Male
Posts: 818
Yep.

I feel yait gets to me too.

We gotta keep trying though.

Good luck!

-T.R.G.

"The only person who can help you, is yourself"

The Buddha mentioned suffering can be ended by letting go of our desires, longings, frustrations, and greed.

This can either be a lonesome path or a gathered path, but the ultimate decision resides in your favor. It is up to you whether you wish to take the extreme route or low bound route to achieve your enlightenment. The middle path will prove to be tedious and difficult, but know you're not alone.

We're here with you. 本当に。
That Random Guy is offline  
post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 12:21 PM
SAS Member
 
SomeOtherDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 10
My Mood: Pensive
There are some people that I can have a normal kind of conversation with. My anxiety didn't get really bad until I came home from Iraq, and by then I had already been married for 15 years and had two kids. They have been awesome adjusting to the new me, and it is nice to have a few people to whom I can verbally speak without having my brain lock up like an overheated 286. But I don't talk much to anyone else.

This is my custom signature.
There are many like it, but this one is mine.
It is my electronic representation.
SomeOtherDude is offline  
post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 01:05 AM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 4,039
I understand you 100%. Even with "friends" at my schools, i couldnt even talk fluently with them. But try acting confident, and tell yourself that there is no reason to be anxious, its very hard but my therapist says these will help overcome social anxiety. And of course you have the practice socializing, the more you practice, the faster you overcome it. Enter social situations with a positive mindset and ignore any embarasing things that happen to you, with time you get less and less anxious when socializing. And your conversation skills get much better too.
sad1231234 is offline  
post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 01:08 AM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 4,039
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemmy4ever View Post
I don't seem to have any friends left outside of the internet, and with the only people I ever talk to it's never a smooth conversation. I have a couple of people I talk with a lot online, but even with them I don't have that sort of conversation that just flows smoothly. I will admit that it's easier for me to chat with someone online than it is in person, but I'm not too good online either especially when it comes to instant messaging. It sucks when someone I'm talking to will type out a massive paragraph to me and yet all I can do is respond with a sentence or two. With me it seems like once I get past the basic introduction then I just struggle finding things to say. I had one person that I had started talking with online recently and things seemed pretty smooth at first, but then I just got to that point where I couldn't think of what to say most of the time. The person always said something if I went too long without responding too, as if they were upset with me. Now I really don't talk with them because I have a feeling they don't want to talk to me because of the way I am.

I wish I knew what happened because I never felt so uncomfortable talking to people in the past, but these last few years I just seem to freeze up when trying to talk to anyone.
The more you practice socializing, the better your social skills become. Besides, you shouldnt feel bad about being awkward, its common for people to be socially awkward and you have social anxiety, so theres gonna be awkward situations. But really you learn social skills over time. Hell, i was homescholed for 10 years, but with a couple years at school and years of online socializing, i improved my conversation skills a lot and i feel like i can relate to people much more and i can have smoother conversations.
sad1231234 is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome