I have my own place with my boyfriend. He works nights. I started sleeping on his schedule (during the day) because of my intense fear of somebody breaking in and hurting/killing me while he is away. I am aware that this is ridiculous and the chances of this kind of thing happening are next to none.
Last night was terrible as usual. There were noises at the back door twice within a few minutes and I freaked. Made sure it wasn't just my cats, nope, wasn't them. Panic some more. I got my shoes on, stood in the living room, shaking, ready to book it out the front door for almost an hour. No more noises. Just stood there waiting for it. TV muted. Clutching my phone. Scared to death.
I guess it was pretty windy out last night. That's probably all it was.
I just thought of something that would make my problems go away but it's pretty embarrassing. I am considering going over to stay at my boyfriend's mothers house while he is at work. She lives only a couple of blocks away and I know she won't mind, aside from thinking I'm crazy. Just having someone there, even if they're sleeping is all I need. Her being a sheriff's deputy and having weapons and training and all that doesn't hurt either! :P
I am currently taking meds for SA that are helping with that a bit, but not with this at all. I guess I assumed it would help since they are prescribed for so many types of anxiety. Honestly I don't really know what this is either... is this general anxiety or something else entirely?
I guess I am looking for another person's point of view on this. Has anyone else been though the same issues? What helped you, if anything? Does staying over at another person's house every day seem insane? Do you have any other advice?
"Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths."
Call me Katelyn!
Avoidant personality disorder, social phobia, recurrent agoraphobia & major depression w/ psychotic features.
Current meds: 4mg/day Alprazolam, 250mg/day Lamictal, 100mg Trazodone, 600mg Gabapentin, 12mg Selegiline (Emsam), 6mg Aripiprazole.
Past meds: Klonopin, Escitalopram, Paroxetine, Sertraline, Venlafaxine, Viibryd.