Immensly scared of being alone at night.

[PsyKat]

I have my own place with my boyfriend. He works nights. I started sleeping on his schedule (during the day) because of my intense fear of somebody breaking in and hurting/killing me while he is away. I am aware that this is ridiculous and the chances of this kind of thing happening are next to none.

Last night was terrible as usual. There were noises at the back door twice within a few minutes and I freaked. Made sure it wasn't just my cats, nope, wasn't them. Panic some more. I got my shoes on, stood in the living room, shaking, ready to book it out the front door for almost an hour. No more noises. Just stood there waiting for it. TV muted. Clutching my phone. Scared to death.

I guess it was pretty windy out last night. That's probably all it was.

I just thought of something that would make my problems go away but it's pretty embarrassing. I am considering going over to stay at my boyfriend's mothers house while he is at work. She lives only a couple of blocks away and I know she won't mind, aside from thinking I'm crazy. Just having someone there, even if they're sleeping is all I need. Her being a sheriff's deputy and having weapons and training and all that doesn't hurt either! :P

I am currently taking meds for SA that are helping with that a bit, but not with this at all. I guess I assumed it would help since they are prescribed for so many types of anxiety. Honestly I don't really know what this is either... is this general anxiety or something else entirely?

I guess I am looking for another person's point of view on this. Has anyone else been though the same issues? What helped you, if anything? Does staying over at another person's house every day seem insane? Do you have any other advice?

[Just Tony]

Welllllllll.. You have us the SAS to keep you company ina way. Idk start threads and talk to us lol.

[FireSoks]

My fear of being alone at night was intensified when I was younger. Than again, I've always had someone living with me in the apartment.

I have skylights so I was majorly paranoid someone would break in through the roof of the house at night.

A couple of things that may help. Listening to calming music (ambiance) while completing tasks or laying in bed. Perhaps even upbeat music; anything that makes you happy.

Ever thought of adding another lock to the back door, or an alarm system? How about getting a dog, though I read you have cats and don't know how well that might work out.

I don't think you're insane for wanting to spend some time at your mother in law's house. I'm sure she'd be understanding as well. Is it possible you could have a friend sleep over from time to time?

[FairleighCalm]

As a young child my parents let me watch all kinds of horrid TV. So into my teen years/20s i had some really strong fears. Until i understood where they came from i.e. innapropriate TV, older siblings that were allowed to scare me and exposure to 6 o'clock news at a young age, i was really scared. Just sharing so you know you're not the only one.

[JellyBelly24]

Rest easy!

Remember the key truth that for anyone to do anything mischievous of any sort to another person, there has to be a MOTIVE in the first place. What do you have to worry about?

Anyway, do you live in a pretty decent neighborhood, surrounded by other houses (inhabitated by people/families)? If so, ask yourself: Why if anything would they choose YOUR place?

Bottom line: The odds are less than 1/10000 that an act of severe infliction would RANDOMLY happen to you by a RANDOM person. You'll be fine!

[Melinda]

I wish I could tell you what this is because I deal with it too!! When I lived alone I would go around my apartment at night and lock and re-lock all the windows and doors. I'd lock myself in my bedroom with my phone right next to my pillow. If I'm alone at night I am terrified that someone is going to break in. And god forbid I had to shower in an empty house--that's something I just can't do.

What helps me to fall asleep alone is just distracting myself really well with things that relax me. I listen to calming music, watch tv, and just generally try to relax and get myself away from panicking.

Also I got familiar with what someone breaking into my apartment would sound like because my roommate actually did break into the apartment one evening (the idiot had lost his keys again and scared me half to death). Not a very intelligent thing to do, but at least from then on I didn't get nervous when I heard a few taps on my window.

[Kennnie]

Get a Gun

[ReincarnatedRose]

As long as you lock all your doors and close your windows, you should be fine. If you're that scared, try leaving the lights or even the television on mute. On the off chance that I get too scared at night (though mine is usually related to my addiction to horror movies and not some real world fear of being alone), I just leave the TV on and that takes care of it!

[Disarray]

Hide under the sheets and hope nothing happens.

Seriously though, just try to relax. I was home alone for 3 months when i was 16 and i ended up sleeping on the couch, just so i could hear if there were intruders. The majority of the noise came from my cats running around.

[Emmy22]

I feel the SAME EXACT way. I thought I was just crazy because my mom makes fun of me and tells me how I think everyone is "out to get me". I recently just moved in with my boyfriend, and he works second shift. Not to mention It's my first time having my own place. It's really tough for me being alone at night, even though my parents only live two houses down, and my neighbors downstairs are my landlord aka uncle's friend. It just an irrational fear that hopefully will get better. I'm thinking of meditating, listening to relaxing music, or even doing yoga when I'm alone. As that has helped me a great deal when I was having a panic attack before. My panic attacks are so bad that I feel really sick to my stomach and I sweat a little. If anyone has any other advice to learn to cope with this, please let me know. I spent my first night alone, and that was hard enough, especially knowing there will be many more nights to come

[sherrywhite20]

OP, I can't believe I just read this.

My fiance used to work night shift and I too started sleeping days and staying awake at night because I was so afraid of someone breaking in. I suffer from OCD, Social Anxiety and General Anxiety (which is where I believe the fear of someone killing me comes in). I had such a nightmare with it and spent most of the night petrified.

I am afraid I cannot help you much as my fiance left work after a few months of this routine and I hadn't figured out how to feel better in the situation. I just stayed up surfing the net and wathing TV, waiting for the sun to rise.

I know it has been months since you wrote the OP so I'm assuming you may have found some way to cope. If you have can you share it with me as even nowadays if my fiance stays away and I have to be alone at night I am terrified. I hate having to stay up until sunrise just to get some rest.

Hope you're coping better now and it worked out for you.

[Ckg2011]

[LR2310]

I am absolutely terrified of being alone at night. Any tiny noise and I have a panic attack. I can't fall asleep until the sun is coming up. It does seem to be a little triggered by the act of turning all of the lights off and getting into bed. Where as if I stayed on the couch all night in the living room I wouldn't be quite as freaked out (still overly vigilant of unusual noises though). If I am calm enough to fall asleep the lights have to be on.

It's just so crazy considering I'm fine with roommates in the house, and I sleep like a baby when my boyfriend is home. I just can't even remotely be alone when it get's dark. It's so awful. What exactly is this problem? A disorder? Does it have a specific name? What are ways to overcome it? It is reassuring that it happens to others too.