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Old 05-14-2010, 08:05 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default I'm depressed and lonely... help

College has only been out for 7 days so far and already i feel utterly and completely alone.

My best friend/sorta girlfriend just graduated and i have another year to go(embarrassingly because I returned to school late and am 3 years older than her.) I won't be able to see her more than once a month now because of her job.

I have no friends at home, I'm 25 and its been a long time since i kept in touch with high school friends, and i just never had any really to begin with.

I have a limited number of friends @ college, but I did suffer quite a blow when one of them told me that nobody wants me around because when i get drunk i create drama (that hurt more than anything to somebody with social anxiety issues).... after they ditched me for around 2 weeks.

Basically, I don't even have a single person to talk to or be around. I'm in complete isolation and i hate it. Being alone like this just reminds me of the years before i returned to school and literally had no friends. I think i was dying of loneliness and that's exactly how i feel now ... Afraid, nervous, depressed, lonely.

Could use somebody to talk to on AIM with similar problems or something...
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Old 05-14-2010, 08:07 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Just thought I'd add that its only been one week of a 16 week summer and I already find myself going to the gym or out to a store just to be around people for a little while ... feels kinda pathetic
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Old 05-15-2010, 01:44 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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People are all over the place at that age anyway. High school friends move on and go to different cities and stuff, and university friends end up getting jobs and moving away. I think a lot of people make friends when they settle down in a job. Hopefully they have people to work with and some of them will become friends. That's what happened with most of the people I know anyway.

For the time being though you can make other friends at college by joining clubs and stuff. You can have a group of friends and it not work out, and then join a basketball club or something and you will end up with another completely different group of people who don't know the other group.

As for getting all drama when you are drunk, if that's even true, at least if you know about it you can hopefully just try to avoid it in the future.

Onwards and upwards!
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Old 05-15-2010, 08:23 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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blahh I feel the same way.. I've realized that I've pretty much completely isolated myself from everyone I was once friends with because of all the anxiety I have about social situations. I was doing an internship for a few months and was around people at work but now that that's over and summer classes haven't started up yet I spend pretty much all of my time alone...
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Old 05-18-2010, 07:08 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
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well, after a brief binge on melatonin and sleeping for a straight 24 hours, only to wake up and take more sleeping pills, I've decided that I need to force myself to do something ... anything, to keep my mind off being socially isolated.

My summer painting class starts in a week... maybe ill try really hard to make at least one friend there.

...but damn i thought things were hard at school, its so much harder to motivate myself to do anything here.

Thanks for taking the time to read and such ... I still feel like complete ****, but I'm trying to feel better now at least.
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Old 05-21-2010, 02:24 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by Mintyfresh View Post
I already find myself going to the gym or out to a store just to be around people for a little while ... feels kinda pathetic
Nothing wrong with that, I did that today myself.

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Originally Posted by Mintyfresh View Post
i have another year to go(embarrassingly because I returned to school late and am 3 years older than her.)
Again, no shame in that; it's honorable to be putting the time and energy into finishing school. If you run in especially intellectual circles some may look down at this, but it's their problem, not yours.

Also Pixie is right, one of the main ways friends are made (especially among guys) is work. Get a job someplace and put yourself in (relatively) easy situations to talk to and hang out with similar people.
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Old 05-21-2010, 02:29 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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I don't do the AIM thing, but here's a . Hope things get better soon.
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Old 05-21-2010, 02:34 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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The best advice I can give you... is to work.
Work alot.
Honestly, my best summers and least lonely ones- were the ones where I worked 120+ hours every week. You work; get to know people at work and frequent customers, and by the end, you have fun doing it. Might even make some friends at work and be able to hang out with them after hours or on days off.

Just give yourself less time to sit around and be bored and think about how lonely and depressed you are.
<that is... if you're able to work, anyways. I'm not anymore... so I'm going to be lonely and bored until I can pull myself together and leave my room like a 'normal' person>
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Old 05-21-2010, 03:12 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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The best advice I can give you... is to work.
Work alot.
Honestly, my best summers and least lonely ones- were the ones where I worked 120+ hours every week. You work; get to know people at work and frequent customers, and by the end, you have fun doing it. Might even make some friends at work and be able to hang out with them after hours or on days off.

Just give yourself less time to sit around and be bored and think about how lonely and depressed you are.
<that is... if you're able to work, anyways. I'm not anymore... so I'm going to be lonely and bored until I can pull myself together and leave my room like a 'normal' person>

I agree Kittygirl. Working helps me alot. I may not like being around certain co workers but when working and doing my own thing im ok. Its when im off or taking a few days off is when i start to feel lonely and really bored. You dont have to work yourself to death but just keeping yourself busy and not thinking about other people and their crap helps alot. Volunteering and being around others who really appreciate you is another good idea and outlet.
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Old 05-21-2010, 04:18 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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i was in a similar situation where i felt lonely and depressed, i still do feel this way but not as bad. i wouldnt mind AIMing if you want to.
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Old 05-24-2010, 01:39 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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first painting class starts in an hour and a half, and **** if im nervous ..
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Old 05-04-2013, 10:40 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Loneliness has followed me my whole life, in bars, in cars, on sidewalks, in stores.. Everywhere. There's no escape. I'm God's Lonely man.
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Old 05-04-2013, 10:46 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Loneliness has always been with me.
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Old 05-04-2013, 11:57 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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I think you should stop thinking of the end of that sixteen weeks right now because that is a long way off and that type of thinking will send you mental!

You could try getting a job or trying something new, maybe volunteer.. Do you have a hobbie? or could you jet off oversea's on a volunteer trip? that's what I did and I was so nervous, so scared and wanted to die, but I met amazing people and had a great time.

I have to admit I feel like you do a lot of time, sometimes i have to fight so hard to push it back and its exhausting. But I try to get through, by going to the gym or cooking or doing yoga! I truely believe this is setting you up for something where you will be so appreciative...
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Old 05-05-2013, 12:05 AM   #15 (permalink)
 
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I think you should stop thinking of the end of that sixteen weeks right now because that is a long way off and that type of thinking will send you mental!

You could try getting a job or trying something new, maybe volunteer.. Do you have a hobbie? or could you jet off oversea's on a volunteer trip? that's what I did and I was so nervous, so scared and wanted to die, but I met amazing people and had a great time.

I have to admit I feel like you do a lot of time, sometimes i have to fight so hard to push it back and its exhausting. But I try to get through, by going to the gym or cooking or doing yoga! I truely believe this is setting you up for something where you will be so appreciative...
I got nothing, no job, no life, no friends, just me and my bottle of vodka.
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Old 05-05-2013, 12:06 AM   #16 (permalink)
 
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Loneliness has always been with me.
You have my deepest empathy, you can always talk to me.
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