I'm not too sure where to start so I guess I brief summery of my life is fitting if I want opinions about it. Feel free to give me the brutal truth. I hate it when people candy coat things.
-When I was 2 i was put up for adoption. Birth parents where neglectful and physically abusive (I have read the court transcripts)
-Adopted parents are good Christian people. They where strict but fair and to this day I love them dearly.
-At about 10 I was diagnosed ADHD. The truth is I was actually only Hyperactive, I excelled in school when I was challenged (reading at a college comprehension level in 3rd grade and doing algebra in 6th grade). I was put on mass doses of Ritalin and other similar meds for about 4 years. I went threw about 15 councilors in that time. They would all leave when I would start to open up to them then I had to start over with someone new. My grades dropped dramatically during this time.
-At 15 I was arrested for breaking in to a neighbors house while they where gone. I was locked up till just after my 18th birthday. I graduated high school a year early while I was locked up (only to find out years later my diploma in not excepted as valid by the state that gave it to me)
-At 18 I went off to a trade school. My room mate got arrested for a large amout of drugs and I couldn't make the rent. I was homeless and still going to school till they found out I had no address and they kicked me out. That cost me about 15k in student loans
-I couldn't find steady work for 3 years. I lived with my parents during most of that time. Tried to join the army and they lost my paperwork, birth certificate (I still don't have it) and my SS card. I finally got a job working for people that treated me like garbage.
-After about 1.5 years there I took what I thought was a better job and got laid off 3 months later. This cycle continued for a few years till I finally got a break taking a job driving long haul truck. I loved this job.
-At 23 I met my biological grandmother. She lied to me so many lies that I just stopped contacting her after about 2 years.
-Once I had a good chunk of money saved (almost a years wages) an old boss commited fraud and reported to the IRS that he had paid me a LOT more then he really did. IRS emptied my bank account while I was trying to fight it. I was left living in a truck starting all over again.
-Before I could recover from the IRS hit I was forced to take a different trucking job. Thats when the economy got so bad I wasn't making enough to rent a small studio apartment.
- I had to quit as I was barely able to eat off what I was making. Long story short I am now back working for the same people that treated me like garbage years ago. And I live with my parents again, making a whopping 16k a year.
-I haven't been in a relationship (not even a date) in almost 6 years. I have only had 5 girlfriends in my life and been intimate with 2 others. I only have 1 real friend i trust and a girl i keep around as a friend with benefits (other then that I can't stand her, sorry if that makes me a bad person). I have others I'm friends with but not really any I want to hang out with all the time.
-I don't put myself out there. I hate trying to act the part in social settings. I put up a great front to be the life of the party but most of the time I would rather be at home by my self.
-I have no patience with anything or any one for that matter. I cut any one out of my life that isn't 100% true and honest; even family members. I love animals but recently rescued an abandoned kitten that is driving me up the wall at no fault of its own. I am strongly considering getting rid of it because its stressing me out. (that really sounds pathetic now that I read this, but its true).
I could go on but I think I have rambled on enough. If you actually read all of this I thank you. Bottom line is I will be turning 32 in a couple months and I have less going for me then most kids in high school. I look at all the great things my dad did in his life and it just makes me feel like I have failed him though he would never say it. There is a lot more to say but I figured I would just stick with the highlights.
I'm not sure what I want out of this long post. Maybe I just need to vent.