Social Anxiety Support

shadowmask · 10-08-2009, 05:59 PM

I've only been in one real relationship, but it didn't end because of SA. Or at least she gave me a totally different reason for breaking up, maybe that was just a lie, who knows. She was always going on about how I didn't talk enough. -_-

I've missed out on many potential relationships due to SA, though. Girls would ask me out and I'd either ignore them, or we'd go on a few dates and they would lose interest because I never tried to make conversation. Oh well, C'est la vie.

PlanetarySauce · 10-08-2009, 09:23 PM

Absolutely.
It's frustrating because it's hard for me to even go into a relationship anymore, knowing how it will end up. I need companionship though, so sometimes I have to go for it even if I know how it will end.

leomouse · 10-08-2009, 11:40 PM

i'm in a long term relationship but i'm terrified how it will end up when and if we ever move in together because i just feel like i'm too boring and quiet. i can sorta talk but i don't know what i will talk about if we live in the same house, he will probbly leave... i actually told him i'm worried about this.

Phibes · 10-09-2009, 12:19 AM

Yeah. I'd always back out of going to public places and that annoyed her.

It won't be easy.

epril · 10-09-2009, 12:39 AM

No, I don't think my relationships ended because of SA. Well, one ended when I moved to college the same week my boyfriend went home for winter break. Weird, I said goodbye and so did he, we left our relationship up in the air. I assumed we had broken up and started dating my present husband. Later on when I lived back home again he tried to contact me. Just so weird. I know I felt like he was too good for me, that he would discover what a loser I was, and I wanted the happy, easy loving to stay in my mind. In a way I felt exhausted by the relationship, pretending I was happy and free, when I wasn't? He was a really fun, cute college student and I was a college student with a 2 year old.

AudreyHepburn · 10-09-2009, 03:29 AM

Oh yep. Well, a friendship, which counts as a relationship. When we got to high school she became more social while I became more and more of a recluse. That's pretty much what ended it. She tried so hard to "pull me out of my shell" and the more and more she did that, I just dug my heels into the ground. So she pretty much gave up. To be honest, I'm glad she did. Making up excuses all the time was exhausting. And I didn't find our friendship that rewarding anyways.

Hypnos · 10-09-2009, 04:54 AM

Yes. I met this girl i really liked and she left me for someone else because i would always back out when she suggested going to crowded places. And the thing was, whenever i was with her, she always came off as being very shy so i didn t get why she didn t understand.

illlaymedown · 10-09-2009, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AudreyHepburn

Oh yep. Well, a friendship, which counts as a relationship. When we got to high school she became more social while I became more and more of a recluse. That's pretty much what ended it. She tried so hard to "pull me out of my shell" and the more and more she did that, I just dug my heels into the ground. So she pretty much gave up. To be honest, I'm glad she did. Making up excuses all the time was exhausting. And I didn't find our friendship that rewarding anyways.

I've had tons of "friends" get mad at me and to say mean things to me because of my SA. They said I wasn't trying and I was trying very hard, but they couldn't see it. They didn't know I had SA though. They just thought I was being over-dramatic, stupid, silly, pessimistic, didn't want to change...etc.. and it always cut deep and made it worse when they would make those accusations, cus I mean just cus it doesn't seem like it to them doesn't mean I wasn't trying. I even got baptized after waiting years cus I didn't want to be in front of the crowd and asked two guys out! I think that should show I was trying. When I was in grade school my friends would get popular and leave me behind and even talk about me. It was some of the most miserable times in my life.

PrinceNASeem · 10-09-2009, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by outcast69

I wish,I posted this thread.I have lost 4 relationships because of SA,and one lasted 8yrs.,we were suppost to get married;that tore my heart-apart.That's why I'm afraid of getting into another relationship,I never want to feel that kind of pain again.I wish,I could just find someone who can relate but,I don't think that will every happen.

that is EXACTLY my life story

and my EIGHT year relationship just ended in march of this year and I have not been able to get over it, I keep beating myself up about it...rethinking things and replaying things in my head of how I could of done this or that differently so she wouldnt have left me

worm · 10-10-2009, 01:30 PM

I've only ever had one relationship, but it was 6 years long. I can't honestly say why it ended, she just upped and left me, never returned any calls. She did leave me with one final thought, that she had never loved me. I guess that's a good enough reason for leaving, although how it took her 6 years to find that out is anyone's guess.
But before I go into bawww mode, I did notice that on the flip to what you're talking about (presumably the symptoms of SAD causing a breakup), she left me after I began changing my ways through therapy. I stopped being a victim, and seeing myself as a victim, and around that time she left me. Possibly what attracted her to me was that I was a victim and that she could somehow "save" me, maybe it gave her a sense of purpose, maybe when I stopped being something to care for I lost my appeal, maybe this is all completely off the mark and she just found someone else.
So yeah, no.

SAgirl · 10-10-2009, 02:43 PM

All of them have ended partially due to SA. Plus, the first one was a jerk, the second one I couldn't kiss. blah, blah, blah.

britisharrow · 10-10-2009, 05:06 PM

I have never been in a relationship, but what has happened is there have been times when I could have been but my social anxiety has prevented the necessary emotional intimacy.

I feel bitter about this but what can you do just soldier on.

Ospi · 10-10-2009, 05:22 PM

Yes, my SA destroyed mine

10-08-2009, 05:59 PM	#21 (permalink)
shadowmask Status: Seeing stars Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: TN Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 1,081	I've only been in one real relationship, but it didn't end because of SA. Or at least she gave me a totally different reason for breaking up, maybe that was just a lie, who knows. She was always going on about how I didn't talk enough. -_- I've missed out on many potential relationships due to SA, though. Girls would ask me out and I'd either ignore them, or we'd go on a few dates and they would lose interest because I never tried to make conversation. Oh well, C'est la vie. __________________ Basically, I'm complicated I have a hard time taking the easy way I wouldn't call it schizophrenia But I'll be at least two people today

10-08-2009, 09:23 PM	#22 (permalink)
PlanetarySauce Status: Sad Panda Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Dallas Gender: Male Age: 28 Posts: 174	Absolutely. It's frustrating because it's hard for me to even go into a relationship anymore, knowing how it will end up. I need companionship though, so sometimes I have to go for it even if I know how it will end. __________________ To alcohol. The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems -Homer Simpson

10-09-2009, 04:54 AM	#27 (permalink)
Hypnos Status: On Standby... Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: UK Gender: Male Age: 18 Posts: 77	Yes. I met this girl i really liked and she left me for someone else because i would always back out when she suggested going to crowded places. And the thing was, whenever i was with her, she always came off as being very shy so i didn t get why she didn t understand. __________________ I'm very indecisive...wait, maybe I'm not.

10-10-2009, 05:22 PM	#33 (permalink)
Ospi Status: Swoit Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Brisbane, Australia Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 1,499	Yes, my SA destroyed mine __________________ "Racing is life. Anything that happens before or after...is just waiting"

10-08-2009, 11:40 PM	#23 (permalink)
leomouse Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 239	i'm in a long term relationship but i'm terrified how it will end up when and if we ever move in together because i just feel like i'm too boring and quiet. i can sorta talk but i don't know what i will talk about if we live in the same house, he will probbly leave... i actually told him i'm worried about this.

10-09-2009, 12:19 AM	#24 (permalink)
Phibes Status: blessed with lucky sevens Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Brisbane, Australia. Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 637	Yeah. I'd always back out of going to public places and that annoyed her. It won't be easy.

10-09-2009, 12:39 AM	#25 (permalink)
epril Status: sa challenger Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: arizona Gender: Female Age: 45 Posts: 2,646	No, I don't think my relationships ended because of SA. Well, one ended when I moved to college the same week my boyfriend went home for winter break. Weird, I said goodbye and so did he, we left our relationship up in the air. I assumed we had broken up and started dating my present husband. Later on when I lived back home again he tried to contact me. Just so weird. I know I felt like he was too good for me, that he would discover what a loser I was, and I wanted the happy, easy loving to stay in my mind. In a way I felt exhausted by the relationship, pretending I was happy and free, when I wasn't? He was a really fun, cute college student and I was a college student with a 2 year old.

10-10-2009, 01:30 PM	#30 (permalink)
worm Status: Permanently Banned Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: England, UK Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 20	I've only ever had one relationship, but it was 6 years long. I can't honestly say why it ended, she just upped and left me, never returned any calls. She did leave me with one final thought, that she had never loved me. I guess that's a good enough reason for leaving, although how it took her 6 years to find that out is anyone's guess. But before I go into bawww mode, I did notice that on the flip to what you're talking about (presumably the symptoms of SAD causing a breakup), she left me after I began changing my ways through therapy. I stopped being a victim, and seeing myself as a victim, and around that time she left me. Possibly what attracted her to me was that I was a victim and that she could somehow "save" me, maybe it gave her a sense of purpose, maybe when I stopped being something to care for I lost my appeal, maybe this is all completely off the mark and she just found someone else. So yeah, no.

10-10-2009, 02:43 PM	#31 (permalink)
SAgirl Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Northwestern Ontario, 20 hour drive from TO Gender: Female Age: 30 Posts: 3,035	All of them have ended partially due to SA. Plus, the first one was a jerk, the second one I couldn't kiss. blah, blah, blah.

10-10-2009, 05:06 PM	#32 (permalink)
britisharrow Status: 3rd SAS Battalion Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Glasgow, UK Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 455	I have never been in a relationship, but what has happened is there have been times when I could have been but my social anxiety has prevented the necessary emotional intimacy. I feel bitter about this but what can you do just soldier on.