Social Anxiety Support

Emptyheart · 09-15-2009, 12:56 PM

If you've been in a relationship..has it ended due to your SAS?

SolaceChaser · 09-15-2009, 02:30 PM

In high school, I got with this beautiful girl. We were together for over 3 years, and at fist it was like, "oh, what are our kids going to look like" and all that ****, but as the relationship went on I think she started noticing that something wasn't ok with me, that I wasn't assertive enough or whatever. In the end, my love left me and that was the worst pain I ever had to deal with, and I still think about it sometimes, it gives me bitter-sweet feelings and I'm ok with it. I am actually pretty damn glad I didn't settle down in my early 20s. She did me a favor

I think if you guys lose someone because of your SA, it should serve as motivation, it should make you more intelligent about your future decisions.

nothing to fear · 09-15-2009, 02:31 PM

yes. very quickly too. at least it was somewhat of a learning experience but it took a while for me to stop beating myself up for being so incompetent.

Neptunus · 09-15-2009, 02:33 PM

Yes. I've learned a few lessons since then... and (hopefully) won't make the same mistakes.

neurotic1 · 09-15-2009, 02:45 PM

I think my brief relationship started because of my SA, it didn't end because of it either.

Auron · 09-15-2009, 02:50 PM

uhm...as far as i know Social Anxiety Support never contributed to break ups in previous relationships

As for SAD, i believe it did contributed somehow to the break up in my first relationship. I was 17, not quite experienced in anything, very self-concious, insecure, jelous, and my anxiety did made these things worse. She broke up with me for very good reasons. Im glad i experienced it eventhough it hurt alot. I improved whole lot from that relationship. The second relationship i had was mainly her fault. I made several threads about it late last year. I was the one who decided to end it.

dullard · 09-15-2009, 03:01 PM

The one relationship I had been in only lasted a week... I'm sure my SA amplified everything.

copper · 09-15-2009, 05:23 PM

I can't even start a relationship due to SA.

jralva86 · 09-15-2009, 06:12 PM

yes, my last relationship which was about two years ago ended because of my sa. we just werent right for each other, i was set up with her by mutual friends and enjoyed each others company at first. i ended up breaking it off because she was one of those people that enjoyed arguing and drama in general and even though she was physically beautiful i wasnt happy with her. i just wonder sometimes how i cant find someone that feels the same way as i do in a city of millions of people. ah well i would rather wait to find someone i really get along with rather than date someone im miserable with again just because its expected of me.

Lithium4 · 09-15-2009, 06:16 PM

SA is more or less the determining factor in all my relationships. But yea, I had one long term (several years) relationship that ended because my SA and depression had gotten really bad.

layitontheline · 09-15-2009, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Auron

uhm...as far as i know Social Anxiety Support never contributed to break ups in previous relationships

Haha I love how you always point this out, bolded letters and all. I hate suffering from SAS.

outcast69 · 09-15-2009, 07:00 PM

I wish,I posted this thread.I have lost 4 relationships because of SA,and one lasted 8yrs.,we were suppost to get married;that tore my heart-apart.That's why I'm afraid of getting into another relationship,I never want to feel that kind of pain again.I wish,I could just find someone who can relate but,I don't think that will every happen.

Jazzi · 09-16-2009, 04:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by outcast69

I wish,I posted this thread.I have lost 4 relationships because of SA,and one lasted 8yrs.,we were suppost to get married;that tore my heart-apart.That's why I'm afraid of getting into another relationship,I never want to feel that kind of pain again.I wish,I could just find someone who can relate but,I don't think that will every happen.

If you do find someone, don't be affraid because of past relationships, x. It has no baring on your future ones! Sorry to hear about your break-up with your fiance though =(

nuncie · 09-17-2009, 01:24 PM

yea one of my relationships but the person didn't kno that i had social anxiety, the just thought i was too quiet and since it was like a long distance relationship, he went away to college...me being quiet wasn't gonna work over the phone so yea...

lesigh · 09-17-2009, 02:08 PM

I've been in four relationships, and they all ended as a result of my SA for one reason or another. The same goes for friendships.

ShyViolet · 09-17-2009, 02:31 PM

I have yet to get into a relationship. Potential ones have gone nowhere due to SA.

Yverinrey · 09-17-2009, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by copper

I can't even start a relationship due to SA.

Ditto. I've had potential relationships but no one has the patience to wait for me to open up, and they move on to girls with more appealing personalities - Pretty smile, life of the party, funny, etc.

illlaymedown · 10-08-2009, 05:41 PM

God, doesn't that make you so sad when you are actually trying with a guy and you can't put yourself out there completely so they just move on to the next outgoing, spontaneous, out there girl while you know all along that if they had been willing to stick it thru they would've found a beautiful awesome woman inside of you...that hurts me most about SA. I have had one bf and I was 19 when we started dating, he broke up with me twice cus I would always read too deeply into things and would think he didn't really like me and thought poorly of me and would get jealous cus of the SA, but also I am a Christian and he wasn't so we should've never been together in the first place. Since then I have been on one semi-date and he never called afterwards and has found another girl. I really like a guy now that fits soooooo well with all I have wanted but he seems to have gone from being interested to not...though I don't know for sure. He is a pretty great guy

makes me sad...but yeah, I didn't know I had SA when I was with my ex and I hinted at having it with my new crush...

TheDaffodil · 10-08-2009, 05:46 PM

Nope.

Logan X · 10-08-2009, 05:52 PM

Both previous relationships didn't end because of my SA/Depression. They ended because they were not meant to be...and i was a drug user and a drunk, so that didn't help. I only had two relationships. My current relationship is great so far. Lets hope that third time is the charm or whatever.

09-15-2009, 12:56 PM	#1 (permalink)
Emptyheart Status: wishes to be SA-free Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: In my own world. Gender: Female Posts: 368	If you've been in a relationship..has it ended due to your SAS? If you've been in a relationship..has it ended due to your SAS?

09-15-2009, 02:31 PM	#3 (permalink)
nothing to fear Status: silence is sexy Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Toronto, Canada Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 4,839	yes. very quickly too. at least it was somewhat of a learning experience but it took a while for me to stop beating myself up for being so incompetent. __________________ everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt. ~ i really like music. and photography, though i'm nothing special.

09-15-2009, 02:33 PM	#4 (permalink)
Neptunus Status: Authenticating Join Date: Oct 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 2,827	Yes. I've learned a few lessons since then... and (hopefully) won't make the same mistakes. __________________ "When I stand before thee at the day's end, thou shalt see my scars and know that I had my wounds and also my healing." ~Rabindranath Tagore "Being gentle means forgiving yourself when you mess up. We should learn from our mistakes, but we shouldn't beat the tar out of ourselves over them. The past is just that, past. Learn what went wrong and why. Make amends if you need to. Then drop it and move on." ---Sean Covey

09-15-2009, 02:50 PM	#6 (permalink)
Auron Status: Fade to Black Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Toronto, Canada Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 656	uhm...as far as i know Social Anxiety Support never contributed to break ups in previous relationships As for SAD, i believe it did contributed somehow to the break up in my first relationship. I was 17, not quite experienced in anything, very self-concious, insecure, jelous, and my anxiety did made these things worse. She broke up with me for very good reasons. Im glad i experienced it eventhough it hurt alot. I improved whole lot from that relationship. The second relationship i had was mainly her fault. I made several threads about it late last year. I was the one who decided to end it. __________________ My Poetry and Photography Website! "What can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence" - Christopher Hitchens

09-15-2009, 03:01 PM	#7 (permalink)
dullard Status: homely guy with beard Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: British Columbia Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 598	The one relationship I had been in only lasted a week... I'm sure my SA amplified everything. __________________ [Last.fm]

09-15-2009, 02:30 PM	#2 (permalink)
SolaceChaser Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Los Angeles Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 90	In high school, I got with this beautiful girl. We were together for over 3 years, and at fist it was like, "oh, what are our kids going to look like" and all that ****, but as the relationship went on I think she started noticing that something wasn't ok with me, that I wasn't assertive enough or whatever. In the end, my love left me and that was the worst pain I ever had to deal with, and I still think about it sometimes, it gives me bitter-sweet feelings and I'm ok with it. I am actually pretty damn glad I didn't settle down in my early 20s. She did me a favor I think if you guys lose someone because of your SA, it should serve as motivation, it should make you more intelligent about your future decisions.

09-15-2009, 02:45 PM	#5 (permalink)
neurotic1 Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 221	I think my brief relationship started because of my SA, it didn't end because of it either.

09-15-2009, 05:23 PM	#8 (permalink)
copper Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Keweenaw Peninsula Michigan Age: 39 Posts: 7,768	I can't even start a relationship due to SA. __________________ troll: man, we got a lot of snow yooper: eh? troll: three feet, man! yooper: yah troll: no school, man, it was sweet yooper: you closed school for three feet of snow?!?!??!? troll: you like excessive punctuation, don't you?

09-15-2009, 06:12 PM	#9 (permalink)
jralva86 Status: Permanently Banned Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: chicago Gender: Male Posts: 92	yes, my last relationship which was about two years ago ended because of my sa. we just werent right for each other, i was set up with her by mutual friends and enjoyed each others company at first. i ended up breaking it off because she was one of those people that enjoyed arguing and drama in general and even though she was physically beautiful i wasnt happy with her. i just wonder sometimes how i cant find someone that feels the same way as i do in a city of millions of people. ah well i would rather wait to find someone i really get along with rather than date someone im miserable with again just because its expected of me.

09-15-2009, 06:16 PM	#10 (permalink)
Lithium4 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Montreal Gender: Male Posts: 636	SA is more or less the determining factor in all my relationships. But yea, I had one long term (several years) relationship that ended because my SA and depression had gotten really bad.

09-15-2009, 07:00 PM	#12 (permalink)
outcast69 Status: Comfortably Numb Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Philly Gender: Male Posts: 230	I wish,I posted this thread.I have lost 4 relationships because of SA,and one lasted 8yrs.,we were suppost to get married;that tore my heart-apart.That's why I'm afraid of getting into another relationship,I never want to feel that kind of pain again.I wish,I could just find someone who can relate but,I don't think that will every happen.

09-17-2009, 01:24 PM	#14 (permalink)
nuncie Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Brooklyn. NY Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 21	yea one of my relationships but the person didn't kno that i had social anxiety, the just thought i was too quiet and since it was like a long distance relationship, he went away to college...me being quiet wasn't gonna work over the phone so yea...

09-17-2009, 02:08 PM	#15 (permalink)
lesigh Status: Long Lost Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: California Gender: Male Posts: 91	I've been in four relationships, and they all ended as a result of my SA for one reason or another. The same goes for friendships.

09-17-2009, 02:31 PM	#16 (permalink)
ShyViolet Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Gender: Female Age: 29 Posts: 1,942	I have yet to get into a relationship. Potential ones have gone nowhere due to SA.

10-08-2009, 05:41 PM	#18 (permalink)
illlaymedown Status: Miseria Cantare Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Mississippi Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 362	sigh God, doesn't that make you so sad when you are actually trying with a guy and you can't put yourself out there completely so they just move on to the next outgoing, spontaneous, out there girl while you know all along that if they had been willing to stick it thru they would've found a beautiful awesome woman inside of you...that hurts me most about SA. I have had one bf and I was 19 when we started dating, he broke up with me twice cus I would always read too deeply into things and would think he didn't really like me and thought poorly of me and would get jealous cus of the SA, but also I am a Christian and he wasn't so we should've never been together in the first place. Since then I have been on one semi-date and he never called afterwards and has found another girl. I really like a guy now that fits soooooo well with all I have wanted but he seems to have gone from being interested to not...though I don't know for sure. He is a pretty great guy makes me sad...but yeah, I didn't know I had SA when I was with my ex and I hinted at having it with my new crush... __________________ "I feel like a helpless puppet being manipulated in some major scheme."~ Squall Leonhart My avatar is my art...www.myspace.com/illlaymedown

10-08-2009, 05:46 PM	#19 (permalink)
TheDaffodil Status: Antsy. Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Maryland Gender: Female Age: 19 Posts: 1,155	Nope. __________________ "Our doubts are traitors, And make us lose the good we oft might win By fearing to attempt." - William Shakespeare NotForSaleCampaign.org \| StopTheTraffik.org \| SlaveryMap.org

10-08-2009, 05:52 PM	#20 (permalink)
Logan X Status: I'm dead inside Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: LaSalle, QC Gender: Male Age: 36 Posts: 5,274	Both previous relationships didn't end because of my SA/Depression. They ended because they were not meant to be...and i was a drug user and a drunk, so that didn't help. I only had two relationships. My current relationship is great so far. Lets hope that third time is the charm or whatever. __________________ It ain't the fall that gets you. It's the sudden stop at the bottom.