I think I'm going on a date... - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-10-2012, 11:45 PM Thread Starter
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I think I'm going on a date...

I have pretty bad anxiety and the thing I am most anxious about is dates..
Im really scared, so scared i made an account so I could get some help about what to do. Its the first time I will be alone with this guy since normally we hang out in groups of friends.. I think we could be really good together, I really really like him and think he gets me, which doesn't happen that often. so I'm scared of messing it up. please help me get over my anxiety for this, any tips or reassurances would be so so helpful
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-11-2012, 12:47 AM
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just be calm and be yourself. just remember he is probably as nervous as you are. so you both are in the same boat.

"But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin."

"In fact," said Mustapha Mond, "you're claiming the right to be unhappy."

"All right then," said the Savage defiantly, "I'm claiming the right to be unhappy"
~John the Savage

"Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond K. Hessel's life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever tasted. "
~Tyler Durden
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-11-2012, 12:59 AM
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Like reaal said, just be yourself and don't worry about it too much. The guy obviously likes you as he's going on a date with you so just be the same with him as you always are. I'm sure you'll be fine
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-11-2012, 01:24 AM
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Hi =) I was in the same situation when I was 18, once again when I was 19.

First boyfriend I dated was terrible: When I was 18, I got my first boyfriend. I was very very anxious, so nervous, it was terrible. I overthought everything I said, I freaked out when there was silence, I never show3ed physical affection because I was nervous. I think everything I could think of that went wrong, did go wrong. I freaked out about it going wrong, and I propelled the relationship to a fast death. I cried everyday for the 4 months we were together.

Fear not, young one =p It was a learning experience! The thing is, that guy and I never really clicked, he didn't understand my point of view, and I didn't get him (he was very social, always wanting to party, etc.) and I loved staying at home to write, or write songs, and just chat. I was convinced that the reason why the first rel was terrible was because of personality differences.

But I'm with my second boyfriend for more than 1.5 years now. First date, I was nervous as hell. For the first 2 months, I was exactly like I was when I was 18, I freaked out, I thought everything was going to end, so I was just a terror. But I dunno, this guy, unlike the first guy, was so kind about it all. I would confide in him about my fears (like I was scared he was using me fordating experience, etc.), but he just reassured me all the time. And this takes me to where I am now with him.

I think I realised that there's nothing such as 'screwing up' a relationship/date if you really cared about it and the guy. It's about him and you earning each other's trust. So if they bail based on one bad date or something, that just shows he won't be right for you.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-11-2012, 01:11 PM Thread Starter
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cioco thank you so much.. I had my first boyfriend last year and your story sounds identical to my own, its reassuring that you were able to find someone nice, really reassuring. I love hearing other peoples stories that really help so thank you y'all and wish me luck
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