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Old 03-31-2011, 07:33 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Old 03-31-2011, 07:39 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Hey there. Yeah, I hate myself too. I have a horrible stutter, could never flirt with girls because of it, I have OCD, depression, and social anxiety.

BUT - you and I aren't completely hopeless. We managed to come to this site and write about our current situation, right? That takes at least a little bit of optimism. If we were totally despondent and apathetic towards life, we wouldn't be on this site right now. We would be in our beds, with the lights turned off, isolated from the world and being in a completely macabre state of mind.

So part of you, even if you aren't aware of it, is still fighting the good fight. And things will get better for us. it may not be happening as quickly as we would like, but things will get better as long as we want them to get better. And I'm usually a very pessimistic person.
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Old 03-31-2011, 07:41 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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I know what you mean about something being wrong. Something is wrong. It amazes me that anybody can ever have a relationship with somebody and have this stuff. I can barely stand someone standing within 20 feet of me. Imagine them being right there, wanting to touch you and stuff. I think it would freak me out too much.

Oh well, something is wrong but at least the time is marching on quickly. Won't be long until we're old and finished with all of this. A short decade or so left and then a short drive to the cemetery to finally end the pitiful and pointless waste that life ended up being.
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Old 03-31-2011, 07:48 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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NoSocialButterfly, there's shame and guilt, and they're not the same. I feel like you're experiencing a lot of shame right now. The feeling of shame comes when you see yourself as bad, when you are worthless, when you are unskilled, when you are not up to par. It comes with an absolute judgment of badness. Guilt on the other hand comes when you do something and you know you could have done differently. Guilt is relative. Maybe you didn't do well, but you could, and if you wanted to, you could do it differently. Guilt is about the choices you make, not about who you are.

I personally think it would be a good idea to work on thinking less about yourself as bad, unchangeable, wrong, and more about yourself as learning skills and different ways of doing things. You'll not only feel slightly better when you let yourself off the hook, you'll get that sense that you really can make things okay.
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Old 03-31-2011, 08:22 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yodastew View Post
Hey there. Yeah, I hate myself too. I have a horrible stutter, could never flirt with girls because of it, I have OCD, depression, and social anxiety.

BUT - you and I aren't completely hopeless. We managed to come to this site and write about our current situation, right? That takes at least a little bit of optimism. If we were totally despondent and apathetic towards life, we wouldn't be on this site right now. We would be in our beds, with the lights turned off, isolated from the world and being in a completely macabre state of mind.

So part of you, even if you aren't aware of it, is still fighting the good fight. And things will get better for us. it may not be happening as quickly as we would like, but things will get better as long as we want them to get better. And I'm usually a very pessimistic person.
Well said. I too have a bad stutter, some days it's tolerable and other days it is not. I'm absolutely friendless at my college, I go to school and not even utter a word. Well, it is what it is.
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Old 03-31-2011, 08:23 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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This is how I feel as well. I am terrible at everything I have ever tried. I have no talent, skills or abilities. The simplest tasks confound me despite the massive amount of analysis I apply to all of my immediate endeavors. When I was growing up, everyone told me how smart I was, and yet I struggle with the slightest challenge, whether it be intellectual or social. People always say, 'everyone has a talent', but in my experience, this is categorically false. Many people have many talents, and many have none. Unfortunately, I am in the latter group. I have nothing to live for besides watching a few select sporting events on TV each year. I give nothing to the world; I am a parasite, who many people justifiably think should be eradicated from the Earth.

Now I am 24 and work as a midnight shift janitor with two mentally challenged people. Nothing could be more fitting. I only wish that I could be like them, and be so dense as to not realize what I am.
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Old 03-31-2011, 08:33 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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Old 04-01-2011, 12:06 AM   #8 (permalink)
 
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This is how I feel as well. I am terrible at everything I have ever tried. I have no talent, skills or abilities. The simplest tasks confound me despite the massive amount of analysis I apply to all of my immediate endeavors. When I was growing up, everyone told me how smart I was, and yet I struggle with the slightest challenge, whether it be intellectual or social. People always say, 'everyone has a talent', but in my experience, this is categorically false. Many people have many talents, and many have none. Unfortunately, I am in the latter group. I have nothing to live for besides watching a few select sporting events on TV each year. I give nothing to the world; I am a parasite, who many people justifiably think should be eradicated from the Earth.

Now I am 24 and work as a midnight shift janitor with two mentally challenged people. Nothing could be more fitting. I only wish that I could be like them, and be so dense as to not realize what I am.

Awww I'm sorry you feel that way
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Old 04-01-2011, 12:29 AM   #9 (permalink)
 
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I feel like I could relate. I guess. I am sorry.I obviously dont have a answer. But, yes I often feel like I should just give up.
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Old 04-01-2011, 02:12 AM   #10 (permalink)
 
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I don't know whether to hug you or shake some sense into you. Trust me, I understand how you feel but I also know thinking so negatively will never help. You are going to have to work hard if you want to change things.

It seems that school is a major form of stress for you particularly writing papers. I would start there. Why do you have so much anxiety writing papers? Try not to focus on everything that brings you down all at once. I know when I do it wears me out too. Just don't give in to apathy.
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Old 04-01-2011, 02:28 AM   #11 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by Man Is An Island View Post
This is how I feel as well. I am terrible at everything I have ever tried. I have no talent, skills or abilities. The simplest tasks confound me despite the massive amount of analysis I apply to all of my immediate endeavors. When I was growing up, everyone told me how smart I was, and yet I struggle with the slightest challenge, whether it be intellectual or social. People always say, 'everyone has a talent', but in my experience, this is categorically false. Many people have many talents, and many have none. Unfortunately, I am in the latter group. I have nothing to live for besides watching a few select sporting events on TV each year. I give nothing to the world; I am a parasite, who many people justifiably think should be eradicated from the Earth.

Now I am 24 and work as a midnight shift janitor with two mentally challenged people. Nothing could be more fitting. I only wish that I could be like them, and be so dense as to not realize what I am.
Hmm what can i say but parts of me so so agree with you..it's probably easy to give advice, but hard to implement. I wish there was something i could say to put you in a more positive frame of mind...but i can't since that would be repeating fortune cookie stuff...
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Old 04-01-2011, 07:41 AM   #12 (permalink)
 
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I know how it feels. Life is hard and frustrating. People always tell me "oh, come on, you are smart and intelligent" and other BS, yet i am terrible at everything. Not a single hobby or activity i would be good at, not to mentoin school - i am pathethic, cant remember simplest things. I never had a job, still living with parrents in age of 23. I feel sorry for my parrents, that i am such a failure.
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Old 04-01-2011, 10:22 AM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Yeah, well. Join the club. Life sucks. You're not alone. Very few people have it mastered. Hang in there.
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Old 04-01-2011, 10:41 AM   #14 (permalink)
 
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Hang in there for what though? What's the purpose? If things are not ever going to get better -- and they're not, I know that -- then why even get up out of bed everyday?
You have to find something to get out of bed for. You have to do it for you. It doesn't matter what it is. Keep fighting. You'll find it.
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Old 04-01-2011, 10:49 AM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Yup I feel the same. I'm not just a loser socially I also lack discipline, work ethic, and responsibility.
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Old 04-02-2011, 01:15 PM   #16 (permalink)
 
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Yup I feel the same. I'm not just a loser socially I also lack discipline, work ethic, and responsibility.
Me too.
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Old 04-02-2011, 01:53 PM   #17 (permalink)
 
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It's good to see some other people with a stutter, that way I know that I'm not alone with having a stutter on this forum!

Stutter + Social Anxiety = Worst mix ever

And don't worry, I suck at life too.
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Old 04-02-2011, 03:07 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I fail at life too however everything is always handed to me on a silver platter. I hav no clue how I graduated wit an egineer degree even though I know nothing and rarely studied. No clue why I hav friends as I cnt even stand myself. I hav a easy job tht pays decently. Yup, I don't deserve any of the things I hav and many more ppl are more deserving. Life is reaaly unfair....
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Old 04-02-2011, 06:18 PM   #19 (permalink)
 
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All i know is ive felt the same way
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Old 04-03-2011, 08:44 AM   #20 (permalink)
 
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Have you tried prayer?

Not that I believe in God in a traditional sense, but there can be a hard kernal of stubborness and selfish pride in us (yes, even "losers" have pride, sometimes the worst kind) that keeps us from making progress. Like not wanting to dive into a task because of fear of making a mistake. That is sheer egotistical BS.
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