I rather be hated than ignored. For some reason I can't stand being ignored. - Social Anxiety Forum
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Old 08-25-2011, 10:57 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default I rather be hated than ignored. For some reason I can't stand being ignored.

Call me an attention ***** but I can't stand it when people ignore me. It's like they are invalidating my existence by merely choosing to ignore me. I rather have someone hate me but acknowledge me than to be completely invisible.
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Old 08-25-2011, 11:09 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by LaRibbon View Post
I rather be ignored. Being hated makes me physically and mentally ill.

But being ignored feels worse. It's like you are not even worth the time and energy to be hated. At least when people hate you they know you exist. I guess I have a weird way of thinking about the world.
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Old 08-25-2011, 11:10 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Same here. The OP probably hasn't been truly hated before.


You don't reach the age of 26 without being hated before.
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Old 08-25-2011, 11:34 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Depends on what being hated mean to different people.

Maybe hating means that someone at least has some emotions when they see you. Being ignored means that they do not even care enough to be angry.
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Old 08-25-2011, 11:41 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Depends on what being hated mean to different people.

Maybe hating means that someone at least has some emotions when they see you. Being ignored means that they do not even care enough to be angry.
Exactly. I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe I am just an attention seeker.
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Old 08-25-2011, 11:53 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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I think of being ignored as a weapon used by people who hate me. It means they've judged me as not being worth a single word.
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Old 08-26-2011, 12:32 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
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I think the reason is sort of philosophical. Know why there are so many statues, texts, and paintings of historical figures that have survived today? It goes back to the human drive to be noticed in the world. What all of these people have in common is simple: they are immortalized forever. Even they they are physically dead, their lives carry on. All of these people wanted to be noticed, to be regarded in life. Hell even Hitler and those kids who committed the Columbine massacre have been immortalized forever. It doesn't matter whether the attention is positive or negative. All of them wanted to be remembered as someone great or as someone terrible.

So why am I saying all of that? It's because people validate their existence through social interaction. We learn a lot about ourselves through other people. We can either be a hero or a monster, depending on how people treat us. But if people never said a word to us, never attempted to interact with us, never even noticed it if we touched them? That's basically the exact same thing as being dead. The world suddenly becomes a prison and our existence is threatened. No matter what, the vast majority of people (not counting those with certain mental defects that cause them to want nothing to do with people), even us on this site, need others to validate our existence. Even though negative attention is likely to cause us a lot of problems, it's still better to be regarded as a somebody at least rather than feeling like a solitary prisoner in a room full of people.

Don't know if any of that crap made sense, but that's how I see your problem. Although it's certainly not a good thing to be hated, it's still way less cruel than to be ignored. At least if you're hated, you know your worthy of it. To be ignored means to be worthy of nothing. It's even better when your name and identity is immortalized forever because you technically never die as a result. When Joe Schmoe, who lives in his basement, never leaves, never did anything for anybody, never tried to communicate with anybody, and has no immediate family or friends, dies, he will be erased from history, and that's truly sad.
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Old 08-26-2011, 03:10 AM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by CrimsonTrigger View Post
I think the reason is sort of philosophical. Know why there are so many statues, texts, and paintings of historical figures that have survived today? It goes back to the human drive to be noticed in the world. What all of these people have in common is simple: they are immortalized forever. Even they they are physically dead, their lives carry on. All of these people wanted to be noticed, to be regarded in life. Hell even Hitler and those kids who committed the Columbine massacre have been immortalized forever. It doesn't matter whether the attention is positive or negative. All of them wanted to be remembered as someone great or as someone terrible.

So why am I saying all of that? It's because people validate their existence through social interaction. We learn a lot about ourselves through other people. We can either be a hero or a monster, depending on how people treat us. But if people never said a word to us, never attempted to interact with us, never even noticed it if we touched them? That's basically the exact same thing as being dead. The world suddenly becomes a prison and our existence is threatened. No matter what, the vast majority of people (not counting those with certain mental defects that cause them to want nothing to do with people), even us on this site, need others to validate our existence. Even though negative attention is likely to cause us a lot of problems, it's still better to be regarded as a somebody at least rather than feeling like a solitary prisoner in a room full of people.

Don't know if any of that crap made sense, but that's how I see your problem. Although it's certainly not a good thing to be hated, it's still way less cruel than to be ignored. At least if you're hated, you know your worthy of it. To be ignored means to be worthy of nothing. It's even better when your name and identity is immortalized forever because you technically never die as a result. When Joe Schmoe, who lives in his basement, never leaves, never did anything for anybody, never tried to communicate with anybody, and has no immediate family or friends, dies, he will be erased from history, and that's truly sad.
Great post.
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Old 08-26-2011, 04:58 AM   #9 (permalink)
 
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I agree. The biggest insult is that the person never even realized you existed.
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Old 08-26-2011, 05:18 AM   #10 (permalink)
 
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Probably ignored. I'm convinced they will engrave my headstone with "Well...He didn't really bother anybody".
I'm alergic to attention anyway, it kicks up tornados of emotions that I can't deal with.
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Old 08-26-2011, 05:36 AM   #11 (permalink)
 
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I always said I'd rather be stood up than forgotten
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Old 08-26-2011, 05:40 AM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Well considering that being hated for just being myself got me where I am today I'd have to say ignored every time.
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Old 08-26-2011, 06:47 AM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Id rather be hated for who I am then loved for who i am not - I just looked up and saw that poster on my wall hehe
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Old 08-26-2011, 08:56 AM   #14 (permalink)
 
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I feel this way too. And when I told my therapist she reacted by saying that my thought process "frightened her". Best to keep these feelings to yourself I guess.
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Old 08-26-2011, 01:44 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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I have a feeling none of you guys really know what it feels like to be hated.
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Old 08-26-2011, 05:29 PM   #16 (permalink)
 
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I wish everyone left everyone alone. Attention gives me nausea. Why would I choose to sustain odium merely to validate my existence when I bloody well know I exist no matter what others think? Frankly, if you really prefer pain and strife to invisibility, it's because you've had a relatively comfortable life and don't know what it feels like to be really hated.
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Old 08-28-2011, 01:45 PM   #17 (permalink)
 
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I have a feeling none of you guys really know what it feels like to be hated.

why do you say that?
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Old 08-28-2011, 04:14 PM   #18 (permalink)
 
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Depends on what being hated mean to different people.

Maybe hating means that someone at least has some emotions when they see you. Being ignored means that they do not even care enough to be angry.
Yup. Totally depends on what hating means, because if by hate it means the purest definition of the word where someone wants me to be in physical pain or dead because of their extreme dislike of me, then, yeah, I'd pass on being hated for being ignored in that instance.
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Old 08-28-2011, 04:37 PM   #19 (permalink)
 
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I don't think I would prefer to be hated but it does seem similarly bad to be ignored. For me though I try to avoid negative attention as much as possible. Yet at the same time, that usually means I'm not very noticed in general. I don't put myself out there as much for that to happen. I feel conflicted no matter what I do.
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Old 08-28-2011, 05:48 PM   #20 (permalink)
 
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i really would rather be ignored,i could go about my business in peace.
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