Same here. Most days I feel like I'm just a visitor sitting in at the classes, but not really a PART of the class, or the school for that matter. I tend to "hide" when I can (go places around the school where there's no one there, or as few people as possible). A counter to the anxiety I guess. Some days are exceptions, but those are rare.
Originally Posted by watashi
Story of my life. I never fit in anywhere. At first I may even have people approach me, but they leave me alone eventually. I guess, they're taking my passiveness for a lack of interest. The only thing you can do is try to be more active, strike conversations with people on daily basis. It's hard I know. And remember that those feelings and thoughts are only the effect of SA and not true.
That happened to me too. It wasn't always positive attention but in band last year other students playfully teased me about how I don't play my instrument well or loud enough, I knew it was a joke, but it still annoyed me. Other people talked to me, and made comments when I was uncomfortable (not negative by any means, just curious comments like "why are you stuttering, turning red... etc) This year, nothing. On one hand it's nice, on the other hand, it seems lonely and feels like being an outsider sometimes.
I got very little sleep last year (not because of them, but just because of not wanting to go back, and trying to prolong the time before going back to school in the morning. Worked out to about 2 hours a night
) A girl would greet me in band sometimes, I wouldn't respond most of the time cuz too sleepy at that point. She stopped this year too. I think I also looked very depressed... Oddly enough I get more sleep this year, but now I eat less.
But yes, this year no attention from anyone in class. All my friends are in other classes, except for one, who I don't talk to in person much (we don't sit close enough in band to talk).
As for striking up a conversation:
1) what would I talk about? What if I can't respond to what the other person says? etc
2) worried about keeping convo going (sorta relates to #1) (I can start, keep it running for a bit, but then it wears off, start panicking thinking of what to say etc.)
3) I'm the "quiet" guy. No one expects the quiet kid to talk. (don't want unnecessary attention)
I am officially a shadow...