I just graduated as well and I understand completely how you feel. I'm applying to university (the process is just starting around here; there are no "colleges", only universities), but... I really have no idea what I want to do with my life or if I'm taking the right decision. And I'm terrified of that, because I had to explain to my disappointed parents how certain
I'm that I don't want to study law (which has been the 'plan' for almost eight years now), without really knowing what I want
to study. My constant fear of failure doesn't help at all.
That said, from my observations, only a small percentage of graduates are 100% sure what they want (if there are any). I think it's normal to be scared, because high school does not prepare us to be responsible adults and that's why we're supposed to be from now on. So really, there are a lot of people in the same situation and there have been even more before them, and they are all dealing with it/have dealt with it, so we will manage it somehow too.
I don't think you should take "desperate" decisions. Once you've set a course, it'll be harder to change it (be it because of your own fears or family pressure) or even feel the need to, even if it's not what's the best for you. So, I think you should concentrate on finding a job, and mainly on "soul-searching", deciding what you really want to do. Next year, take the SATs and apply to a college.
Of course, if you get used to the life of a person who earns a salary and supports himself, it'd be harder to go back to the life of a student, so you should consider this as well. Your main goal right now is to decide what
your goal is... and force yourself not to change it in the future, no matter how "impossible" it seems once you've gotten over the initial happiness that you've found your course.
I can't really give you an advice on what to do - it's something that you should decide. But I just want you to know that we're all in the same situation right now - scared (more like terrified
) , unsure, frustrated. That's completely understandable - nothing will ever
be certain or simple from now on, no safe risks or choices, for anyone. So, once we've found what we want the only thing we can do is hope
that it'll all turn out well (and put all our efforts).
//This helps (at least it helps me me, and I hope you too) by the way - http://harvardmagazine.com/2008/06/t...ce-imagination