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Old 10-24-2012, 12:11 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default I just can't stop doubting myself...

Just have to get this off my mind...

Does anyone else ALWAYS doubt or second guess their self? It seems like no matter what I am thinking of doing, or what I am in the middle of doing, or what I have already accomplished, somewhere along the way I always find a way to either doubt myself, put myself down, or try to undermine my own accomplishments.

It's like I can never give myself credit or have faith in myself to do anything, whether it's something simple such as having the confidence to walk up and just hold a conversation (or even just say "Hi" with a smile) with a girl I find cute, or a huge project for school. It could even be just a thought or idea; I will visualize the whole scenario, and somewhere along the way, there always seems to be this voice in my head that pops up and spews negativity and self-doubt, holding me back from going for it and just totally shredding my confidence.

It just feels ridiculous to me, because sometimes I truly know deep down that I can get the job done, or that I have already done something worthy of being proud of, yet I STILL find a way to put myself down constantly until every single tiny bit of self-esteem I have is gone, no matter what adversity I'm facing. Then depression rears its ugly head and downhill I go. It makes it nearly impossible to build any sort of self-confidence in any part of my life. It almost feels like I'm my own bully.

Can anyone else relate?
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Old 10-24-2012, 12:46 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Yep. Here's a silly example. I write fiction, and I make sure to proofread most of the stuff I post before I post it, to avoid embarrassing errors. I notice that when I write now I put asterisks * next to all the info I'm unsure about...and the thing is, it's stuff that I'm 99.9% sure I have right, but there's this niggling little voice of doubt in the back of my mind that doesn't want me looking stupid, so I have to put an asterisk to double-check that part later on before making it public. I'll end up with all these asterisks next to really basic facts that I know I have right but I just can't convince myself it's so!

Real life? Let's just say that next to EVERY possible action, there's a big mental asterisk demanding my attention before I can act. I'm definitely my own worst enemy.
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