I hate how lazy I am, but am too lazy to do anything about it - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 29 (permalink) Old 09-11-2011, 04:53 AM Thread Starter
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I hate how lazy I am, but am too lazy to do anything about it

There are times I loathe myself so much, because I truly am the laziest person I know. It didn't use to bother me. My mom was also lazy, she got my aunt to do all the things she didn't want to bother with. I fear I've not only inherited her tenancies, but have exceeded them.

I didn't go to school beyond the 9th grade because I didn't feel like doing the work and I couldn't stand the people. I haven't had more than a handful of jobs in my 30 years of life. I don't drive, my house is a mess and my husband makes our meager income. He's also extremely lazy, but I'm worse and I know it.

One of my friends just got married yesterday and it struck me just how much better and responsible she is than me. ALL my friends are more responsible than me, and sometimes I wonder why any of them bother to associate with me at all. Most of them were, admittedly, on the fringe in their youth and had either mental problems or were mistreated by their peers for being different. Both, in a few cases. So guess they like me because I'm nice and I stick up for the underdog, since I'm an underdog myself. But other than being kind, I feel like I have no other redeemable qualities.

I am basically useless as a human being. Back when I was working my jobs bored, scared and depressed me so much that I reached the conclusion that I'd rather be homeless than employed. Insane, right? I don't envy my friends' jobs, I just am grateful it's them working and not me. Same with my husband. I'm so glad I don't have to work four times a week the way he does. So, I'm a housewife. Which wouldn't bother me if it weren't for the fact that I'm not a good one. I hate to clean, and usually don't. My husband is even worse in that department and I'm embarrassed to have company over. I'll sit on my butt thinking "The dishes need to go in the dishwasher. I need to do laundry. I need to clean up the living room." But I don't. I used to be a little better, but my husband tears up the house as soon as I clean it so I don't want to bother.

Talking doesn't help, he just points out that I'm lazier than he is. He's messier, I'm lazier. I don't mind cleaning when I'm with another person, but I have like zero motivation when I'm by myself. I feel ashamed to talk to my friends and family, because I know I shouldn't be this way. I avoid doing things that are hard, I begin projects and take forever to finish them, and I don't get nearly enough physical activity. I looked at a picture of me at my friend's wedding yesterday and realized just how big my butt is. I know I should change, but I don't.

How do normal people find motivation to do things they don't want? I seem to have missed something vital growing up, because I know being like this can't possibly be right.
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post #2 of 29 (permalink) Old 09-11-2011, 05:02 AM
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I've read that sleeping less helps with motivation.
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post #3 of 29 (permalink) Old 09-11-2011, 05:22 AM Thread Starter
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I've read that sleeping less helps with motivation.
You know, oddly enough getting out of bed has never been a problem for me. My husband works 3rd shift so I get up when he gets home. I've always been an early riser, though, because I find lying around in bed very boring.
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post #4 of 29 (permalink) Old 09-11-2011, 06:24 AM
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I've read that sleeping less helps with motivation.
They lied.
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post #5 of 29 (permalink) Old 09-11-2011, 04:55 PM
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I've always been lazy. I also think I inherited this from my parents. Neither of them were go-getters. They would go to work and after coming home just sit on the sofa while drinking cheap wine and watching tv every night. The house was always messy and after my mom got sick, my dad decided he was too tired after work to do anything. We ate microwave dinners every day of the week and we used plastic cups, paper plates, and plastic cutlery, so he wouldn't have to wash any dishes. My parents never pushed me to join any clubs or do any after school activities, such as sports or music.

Sometimes it's hard to differentiate between my general laziness and my social anxiety. Still not sure which caused me to stop going to school at age 13. I avoided university for many years by living abroad. I taught English and did bar hostessing. Both of these jobs, you can get hired by just being a living breathing foreigner.

You have to have a goal to overcome laziness. What is your goal? I'm going back to school now cause I'm deathly afraid of becoming homeless. I can't move back in with my dad and there is no husband. This fear is giving me the motivation to study.
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post #6 of 29 (permalink) Old 09-11-2011, 05:57 PM Thread Starter
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My goals are (almost) always small ones, since I don't like things that are very labor intensive. Get my flowers planted (took my lazy butt two months to get my new flower bed dug), finish my fan fiction (still working on that), get the cat de-flead (is that even a word???) and such.
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post #7 of 29 (permalink) Old 09-11-2011, 07:03 PM
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I feel pretty much the same way. I know I should do things, feel kind of bad that I don't, but don't feel motivated to change. Depression and anxiety certainly compound this, but they're hardly the cause of it . . . at the bottom of it all, I know I'm a lazy person. I'm very lucky to live as comfortably as I do, and I know that if I ever end up living out of a dumpster, I'll have nobody/nothing to blame but myself.
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post #8 of 29 (permalink) Old 09-12-2011, 02:22 AM
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I only just graduated HS after having to go one extra year at a continuation school. I don't think I ever got over a 2.0 since going to even junior high, looking back now I'm surprised I wasn't failed out of school.

I just have a severe lack of concentration / motivation when it comes to anything. For things you would have to do even the smallest amount of thinking to do, I completely blank out. I've always been like that, don't know why. For tests in most subjects I would do alright, but for actual work I just couldn't concentrate enough to do it.

I'll try doing simple chores, but end up being so bored I quit halfway through. I have to force myself to do something as simple as washing dishes or cleaning up a bit around the house.


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post #9 of 29 (permalink) Old 09-12-2011, 05:08 AM Thread Starter
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I think one of the things that scare me is that life is so mundane it seems pointless. Why go for a walk? I've seen it all before. Why clean? It'll just get dirty again. Going out with my friends makes me nervous and scared because "normal" people make me uneasy and everything costs money that I don't have, but then I get depressed that I'm not spending enough time with my friends.
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post #10 of 29 (permalink) Old 01-12-2013, 06:16 AM
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KeeperOfSecrets, I think we were separated at birth. I felt such a kinship after reading your posts that I actually mustered the strength to register just so I could tell you that.
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post #11 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-11-2013, 08:00 PM
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KeeperOfSecrets, I think we were separated at birth. I felt such a kinship after reading your posts that I actually mustered the strength to register just so I could tell you that.
I have to echo this sentiment. KeeperOfSecrets articulated feelings that've dwelt in my mind for as far back as I can remember.. those posts resonated so thoroughly with me that I had to log in and say so. My mind was spoken here, by a person other than me... a kinship of the spirit.

I almost gave up on myself... but reading these posts gave me hope again.
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post #12 of 29 (permalink) Old 05-13-2013, 10:45 PM
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I just registered to reply to this post..I feel exactly like you do!!
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post #13 of 29 (permalink) Old 05-13-2013, 10:49 PM
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Wow. 3 one-posters in a row. There must be a phrase here that lots of people are googling.
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post #14 of 29 (permalink) Old 05-13-2013, 10:58 PM
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Wow 3 one-posters in a row. There must be a phrase here that lots of people are googling.
It's also interesting that there is almost a two month difference between each reply.
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post #15 of 29 (permalink) Old 05-13-2013, 11:04 PM
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I've read that sleeping less helps with motivation.
It's true. Midnights combined with a day job have made me insanely focused. At first, it just worsened my alcoholism, but one day, I stopped drinking altogether and became ridiculously, scarily focused and proactive. If only I could use this energy to build a better, less taxing career instead of my current jobs. Hell, im at work now doing this from my phone -its 200am here, 5 hours to go.

It sounds like you, OP, are depressed and too intoverted right now. I know how you feel -I have been an alcoholic and a weedhead despite working long hours for nearly a decade of my 26 years. I would tell you to get a hobby or a job, but really it's gonna be a personal choice for you. I think you are fed up with things though, and that's a good start. A little self-loathing can be OK as long as you think about what you can do better and get over and outside of your shell. Good luck

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post #16 of 29 (permalink) Old 05-13-2013, 11:08 PM
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Depression?

And I forget just why I taste
Oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile
I found it hard; it's hard to find
Oh well, whatever, never mind...
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post #17 of 29 (permalink) Old 06-02-2013, 12:03 PM
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I think one of the things that scare me is that life is so mundane it seems pointless. Why go for a walk? I've seen it all before. Why clean? It'll just get dirty again. Going out with my friends makes me nervous and scared because "normal" people make me uneasy and everything costs money that I don't have, but then I get depressed that I'm not spending enough time with my friends.
this is exactly how I feel
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post #18 of 29 (permalink) Old 09-11-2013, 06:43 PM
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I am a terrible house keeper I have gotten better for my husband and my daughter in part from medicine but even with meds I still fall back into my old routine often. When I don't feel like getting out of bed or off the couch I close my eyes and I picture myself getting up getting dressed and doing the laundry. I envision the whole process every step. Seeing myself do it once makes it seem a little easier. Now often when I do this I have big plans I'm going to clean everything but only end up doing a couple chores. But that is alright at least I did something. Also I have a weakness for books. Once I pick one up that's it I'm not doing anything that day(I can't turn the tv on either). Even my daughter only gets the minimum in attention once I stick my nose in a book. So I know on Saturday morning when I wake up I can't pick up a book or turn of the tv or call any of my friends until I get some chores done. I never get enough done but at least I do something.

Maybe you have already tried these things but if not please do. And if they work but you find you fell back into the old routine then start over from the beginning. Every time you force yourself to get up and just do it you are slowly building a habit the more you do it the easier it will get. don't get discouraged. my husband and I have lived together for 10 years and I have finally started to make some of the essentials like dishes and dinner every week night a habit.

I hope this helps and good luck. if not talk to your doctor I did. mine put me on welbutrin. it is for depression but also adhd(that's my problem) and is the only thing that has ever worked it makes me want to get off the couch and take care of my family.

again good luck.
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post #19 of 29 (permalink) Old 09-11-2013, 07:49 PM
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the title is enough to describe my life.

~Life sucks, but there is still something for me to live for. I hope I can hold it tightly and never let go.
----Me
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post #20 of 29 (permalink) Old 09-11-2013, 08:02 PM
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i'm extremelly lazy and I think it's a symptom of depression
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