I hate being a virgin. Can anyone relate?
Iím a 25-year old male virgin. I donít know whether thatís down to my lack of social skills, my horrible adolescence or just plain bad luck, but I feel like the butt of every bad sitcom joke, and itís become a daily source of misery for me. There are more handsome guys than me around, but I wouldnít say Iím an ugly guy either. I have my fair share of female friends, but have a habit of sliding into the 'letís just be friendsí zone.
I didnít have a great time during high school, but I always assumed there would be a period afterwards when I would become a normal young person who was able to live life to itís fullest. Being a virgin has put a bit of a dampner on that. Iíve tried to psych myself up into staying calm and confident around women, but the various close calls Iíve had over the years have only made my outlook more defeatist.
Itís always been a great source of mystery to me how people manage to form relationships, or even casual hook-ups, with others. Itís something that even unintelligent people seem to do very easily, but it looks like rocket science to me. Every friendship Iíve ever had has happened by accident. I naively assumed something similar would happen with relationships. Obviously it hasnít.
I feel incapable of appreciating any of the good things that happen to me, as I feel thereís this massive gap in my life. I feel easily intimidated by people with lots of sexual experience, and canít help feeling huge amounts of resentment towards other peopleís sex lives. Most of my friends lost their virginity a decade ago, and some of them are already starting to settle down with kids, marriages and mortgages. Many of them have begun to wistfully refer to young and attractive women in the past tense, while I keep myself sane by thinking of them in a constant near-future tense.
As opportunities to sow my wild oats get narrower with each passing year, I slide deeper and deeper into misery. It becomes harder to make decisions in other aspects of my life, and so the cycle of emotionally stunted despair gets worse. I honestly havenít got the slightest clue how to go about breaking the cycle. I feel like all my opportunities to enjoy my sex life while Iím still young enough to do so are fast slipping away, if they havenít slipped away already.