I am at an all time low.

[when will we be new skin]

I literally haven't told anyone about this because I am so ashamed.

You know when you prepare to ask someone an important question, and you're like 99.9% sure they're going to say yes, and then they say NO? That terrible feeling. This is that, but like a million times worse.

I took the GRE (Graduate Record Exam) last month. I actually did fairly decent on the math section, but I did horribly on the verbal. I wouldn't get my "analytical writing" score til weeks later because they had to grade them.

The score is in .5 intervals up to 6. I was 99.9% sure I would get at LEAST a 5 if not better. I have always been good at writing and I thought I did well.

So today, I finally get my scores in the mail. I was literally grinning and almost giggling because I thought it was going to be great. My face seriously went from this: to this: in a second. All the blood drained from my head. Thank goodness I was alone because I didn't want anyone else to see me. What did I get? A 3.5. three point five. Below average.

I talked up a storm about how I know I did well on the writing and I did NOT. I didn't even do average. I did bad.

I don't have good looks.
I don't have charisma.
I don't have self-confidence.

All I had was my intelligence.

And now I feel like that's gone.

I can't bring myself to tell my dad because I can already see the disappointment in his face.

It hurts so bad. I can't eat. I've taken medicine to sleep. I don't want to try anymore. I am so ashamed.

[ironheart]

I'm sorry to hear of this disappointing turn of events, one can only imagine the pressure you must be putting yourself under right now.

Let me assure you of one thing though, you are not the only person who has failed to demonstrate their true potential under the all-too-brief glare of the spotlight. Perhaps in a strange kind of way, how you rebound from this setback is an equally important excercise in character development as the test itself.

Also (unless you already know) wouldn't it help if you were to confont your examiners and ask them to explain exactly what it was that inspired them to display such a lack of generosity when appraising your writing?
If there is a tangible area with room for improvement then it might be something you could work on.

[CrashMedicate]

This doesn't mean you're not a good writer/intelligent person. You had an off day, it happens to the best of us. Even Michael Jordan had bad days where he played awful basketball. Does it mean he isn't the best ever? Nope. Everybody has a bad day. Cheer up.

[odd_one_out]

First, it might be a good idea to get them to remark it; mistakes by examiners are common. I understand this feeling very well, but it must be considered within the wider context. Think of your past performance and evidence you have skills in this area. Also, consider what factors led to your score; there are numerous factors that have a bearing on performance besides ability (e.g., a simple miscalculation of what was involved to pass with a 5 or 6).

[leonardess]

I had an amazing instructor for an advanced composition class a while ago.

she has a master's degree.

she decided to take the test that her new students are measured by: the SAT.

Now, it's been a long time, and i've forgotten the terminology, but the written part? English and all that? She scored low, below average in fact. She did some digging and found out why: she was told she did not follow the directions. She did not answer some questions correctly.

I very much doubt the worth of such standardized testing. but, you got to play the game in order to get what you want. Take it again, and really make sure you are ticking all their boxes.

[polythene]

A standardized test can't assess your worth. And can't you take the GRE over again if you haven't done as well as you would have liked? I know people from high school who ended up re-taking the GRE several times because they weren't happy with their scores: it's not abnormal to re-do something you're not satisfied with, so don't feel like the odd one out.

If anything, you know what to focus on so you can perform better on the next exam. You're perfectly entitled to mope for a while (I would too), but know that you haven't hit the bottom of the barrel. You can always do better next time, and you're not absolutely required to send in your initial scores to prospective schools. Your results don't make you unintelligent, and the misery will pass.

Until then perhaps you should give yourself some time off doing things you enjoy. When you feel ready, you can start preparing again.

[Aether]

Like a lot of other people are saying, don't let standardized testing get you down. Honestly, I don't believe one's ability at writing, intelligence, or whatever else can be measured by something such as a test. Really, it seems like to do well on standardized tests you almost have to study how to take the test rather than what you are actually being tested on. Rather backwards, is it not? I personally believe standardized testing is a bunch of BS, but what can you do?

Just remember it isn't the end of the world. So you didn't do as well as you thought you were going to, it is alright. You can always try again if you aren't satisfied with your score. But really, trying to judge one's ability as a writer through standardized testing really makes no sense. The best authors don't write their best works with a 45 minute time limit hovering over their heads. They write, revise, write, and revise some more. Really, quite the opposite of what is asked for during those tests.

[mind_games]

When things get overwhelming for me I try to take a step back and look at the big picture. This is just a wee speed bump in your life. Sure it's dissapointing to you now, but a year from now this will be just a bad memory. 5 years from now this won't really matter much. You'll get through this.

[KaiserNeptune]

Originally Posted by when will we be new skin

I literally haven't told anyone about this because I am so ashamed.

You know when you prepare to ask someone an important question, and you're like 99.9% sure they're going to say yes, and then they say NO? That terrible feeling. This is that, but like a million times worse.

I took the GRE (Graduate Record Exam) last month. I actually did fairly decent on the math section, but I did horribly on the verbal. I wouldn't get my "analytical writing" score til weeks later because they had to grade them.

The score is in .5 intervals up to 6. I was 99.9% sure I would get at LEAST a 5 if not better. I have always been good at writing and I thought I did well.

So today, I finally get my scores in the mail. I was literally grinning and almost giggling because I thought it was going to be great. My face seriously went from this: to this: in a second. All the blood drained from my head. Thank goodness I was alone because I didn't want anyone else to see me. What did I get? A 3.5. three point five. Below average.

I talked up a storm about how I know I did well on the writing and I did NOT. I didn't even do average. I did bad.

I don't have good looks.
I don't have charisma.
I don't have self-confidence.

All I had was my intelligence.

And now I feel like that's gone.

I can't bring myself to tell my dad because I can already see the disappointment in his face.

It hurts so bad. I can't eat. I've taken medicine to sleep. I don't want to try anymore. I am so ashamed.

One test is NOT indicative of your intelligence. Don't let one test lead you to making hasty generalizations.

[anomalous]

I remember your thread in the Student section, and I think you said you wanted to go into a scientific field for grad school. If so, this is not worth getting distraught over, because they're probably looking mainly at the math score.

The analytical writing on the GRE is an strange animal. You can write very clearly with proper grammar and structure but still score below-average if they don't find the content of your argument convincing, which is extremely subjective.

FWIW, one of my friends currently in our highly-competitive grad program got a 2.5 on AW, and apparently it didn't mean ****.

[Rixy]

I'm sorry that this happened to you. I know how it feels to get a bad grade thrown in your face when you thought you did well. Maybe you could take the test again? If you can, that might be a good idea. Maybe the thought of beating the GRE once and for all would be good for your confidence. And don't worry, you're not stupid, you're user name is from an awesome song.

[when will we be new skin]

Yeah I'm already taking it again on November 17th. I had decided to do that because I didn't like my verbal score. The schools I'm applying to say they rarely admit people with less than a 1300.. and I got a 1030. I've been studying so hard on verbal because I thought that was the only thing I needed to improve on but now I have to figure out (within TWO weeks) why I did bad on the writing and how I can improve. I mean, I took a whole grammar course so I know that was good, I had structured paragraphs, spelling was good, I addressed every point... I just don't understand. I sucks so bad to think you did great to find out you did the opposite.

[Rixy]

I had the same problem with GCSE English Language. I just couldn't understand how you analyse. I was predicted a top grade too, and my teacher kept on giving me dissapointed expressions which made me feel worthless. I studied hard and spent about 16-20 collective hours on a piece of coursework and ended up with an A, and all was good. I'm sure you can pull it off if you get help from teachers.

Could you find a book that could help you? I had to teach myself Maths from a book. It kind of sucked but I managed to pull it off. Two weeks is kind of harsh, VERY harsh actually. I expected a resit to give you a few months time. How do they expect you to learn all that in two weeks? >

Anywho, good luck in your studies. I hope you get the grades you want

[zomgz]

aww i'm sorry =( hmm... is the GRE like the GED? i've actually never hear of the GRE before

[LostPancake]

Originally Posted by anomalous

The analytical writing on the GRE is an strange animal. You can write very clearly with proper grammar and structure but still score below-average if they don't find the content of your argument convincing, which is extremely subjective.

Originally Posted by when will we be new skin

now I have to figure out (within TWO weeks) why I did bad on the writing and how I can improve. I mean, I took a whole grammar course so I know that was good, I had structured paragraphs, spelling was good, I addressed every point... I just don't understand. I sucks so bad to think you did great to find out you did the opposite.

i had the same experience with the writing section - i studied examples of what would get different scores, analyzed what was in each, and felt like i did just what they wanted for a high score, but also got a 3.5. i was really disappointed.

and i've always been better at math than english, so was expecting to do better on the math part, but my scores were reversed, which i thought was really weird.

[when will we be new skin]

LostPancake -- My scores were reversed too! I was never good in math, but that was actually what I did good on.

zomgz -- The GRE is not like the GED, I have my high school diploma and graduate college next month. The GRE is an exam you take to get into graduate schools for masters and phd's.

Rixy -- I picked the test date because my first application is due December 15th so I need to have it done before then. This has nothing to do with my teachers so they really can't help me. This is something you study for on your own. (or take a $1200 course which I have no time for.)