I am 21 years old.
I dropped out of high school after 11th grade simply because I didn't feel like going. I wanted to graduate, but I didn't want to put any work into it anymore. Before, I had my mother that would push me to go to school every day, so I did. It is here that I find out I am absolutely terrible at doing anything productive on my own terms.
I decided that I would try again just these past few years, so I enrolled in several online high schools. I failed all of them over and over again simply because I didn't feel like doing the work.
Besides this, I am not a stupid person. This is the especially pathetic part. I have a high IQ and can pass most tests given to me without needing to study. When I DO do my work and attend school, I get A's and B's.
I have no job, I have only had a couple in my lifetime - none of which lasted for more than a month before I quit (although to be fair, it was due to SA and not laziness). I don't have my license. I haven't accomplished most things that people my age normally would have by now.
I WANT to graduate from high school. I WANT to go to college and learn more things. I get sick at the thought of being 30 or older and being a poor, uneducated low life still living off of their friends'. I just... don't want it enough I guess?
I see my friends on Facebook and sites like that posting about how college is going, what work they have to do that night, classes of the day, etcetera. Whenever I see it my stomach turns. I wish I could be like them.
I am a terribly lazy and pathetic person, and I don't know how to be anything otherwise.
I am asking this from you, in my most desperate state, that if you have ANY advice for me at all, I will gladly listen. Honestly at this point, the harsher the advice you have, the better. I could use a good coaching. Please. I am in tears at this point. I hate myself for being such a dead weight.