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Old 04-13-2010, 04:55 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default I am an incredibly lazy, unmotivated person.

I am 21 years old.

I dropped out of high school after 11th grade simply because I didn't feel like going. I wanted to graduate, but I didn't want to put any work into it anymore. Before, I had my mother that would push me to go to school every day, so I did. It is here that I find out I am absolutely terrible at doing anything productive on my own terms.

I decided that I would try again just these past few years, so I enrolled in several online high schools. I failed all of them over and over again simply because I didn't feel like doing the work.

Besides this, I am not a stupid person. This is the especially pathetic part. I have a high IQ and can pass most tests given to me without needing to study. When I DO do my work and attend school, I get A's and B's.

I have no job, I have only had a couple in my lifetime - none of which lasted for more than a month before I quit (although to be fair, it was due to SA and not laziness). I don't have my license. I haven't accomplished most things that people my age normally would have by now.

I WANT to graduate from high school. I WANT to go to college and learn more things. I get sick at the thought of being 30 or older and being a poor, uneducated low life still living off of their friends'. I just... don't want it enough I guess?

I see my friends on Facebook and sites like that posting about how college is going, what work they have to do that night, classes of the day, etcetera. Whenever I see it my stomach turns. I wish I could be like them.

I am a terribly lazy and pathetic person, and I don't know how to be anything otherwise.

I am asking this from you, in my most desperate state, that if you have ANY advice for me at all, I will gladly listen. Honestly at this point, the harsher the advice you have, the better. I could use a good coaching. Please. I am in tears at this point. I hate myself for being such a dead weight.
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Old 04-13-2010, 05:04 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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You sound like me kinda, I'm 21 but I'm in college and I'm barely passing though. I'm SO incredibly unmotivated and lazy, even though I WANT to do everything I can to make something of myself...but I just can't bring myself to do anything. Like right now I should be studying for a test tomorrow and working on a huge presentation due Thursday. Instead I'm typing this...why am I so unmotivated? I have no idea really. I guess I feel like I just can't do it or I'm not smart enough maybe.

Anyway, let me tell you something, you are VERY LUCKY to be so smart. You aren't pathetic. I wish I could get those grades...I would buy those grades right now. You should take advantage of it, who knows maybe you will barely have to do any work because things will just come to you easier then other people. Do you feel like it all means nothing? Like you have work to do but do you think to yourself "what is the point of any of this"? Or do you really feel like you are just lazy?
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Old 04-13-2010, 06:21 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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I don't blame you, school is boring. The only reason I have ever pushed myself was because I was motivated by the fear of loss or missing out.

Do what you want to do with life. If your not happy about not passing high school then take it again and pass it this time so your happy. If you never want to go to school again then don't, but eventually you'll probably be kicking yourself unless you manage to work at a factory for 20 + years and become upper management.

I can guarantee you that in time your motivations will change, especially the more pressure you have on your shoulders to succeed, which will come when you realize your a 30 year old still living with your parents, unemployed with no HS diploma. That should motivate you, I'm sure.
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Old 04-13-2010, 06:29 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Are you sure it's laziness and not depression?
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Old 04-13-2010, 10:52 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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my motivation for going to college IS my laziness. I seriously am going because I am thinking about my future desire for laziness. The fact is that being poor is stressful, hard work and will be very hard on you. Put out effort for a predetermined time, and if it's too hard to take too many classes at a time then take it slow- even just take one class at a time- just so you can continually be making progress. education is incredibly important for maintaining an easier lifestyle for yourself in the future!

that's the best advice i can give. i want to be as relaxed as possible in my future- i want to be paid well enough that my time off is enjoyed thoroughly so i figure putting in my time at the beginning will pay off in laziness dollars so to speak, lol, but i am serious.

let your desire for an easier lifestyle in the future be the Bunsen burner under your butt

I know it's easier said than done, but I try to keep this in mind when I'm feeling lazy- because I can be pretty damn apathetic myself.
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Old 04-14-2010, 05:00 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
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You sound just like me, except 2 years older, and possibly much smarter.

Hey, at least you can earn good grades without doing much. I on the other hand has to shove a book in my brain surgically before I can even memorize anything. That's what learning mostly is, it's not really about understanding, but just memorizing flashcards. Soon you'll forget just about everything.

As for working, i'm horribly unmotivated.
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Old 04-14-2010, 10:53 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
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sounds to me like you need motivation
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Old 11-26-2010, 10:01 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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ok ..don't wanna be the pushy one but ...any solution here? i mean i am pretty much lazy to....but i think in my case it's depression alot more cuz it's not that i don't want to do something as easy as cleaning my room it's more like the reason for doing so doesn't really get me going ...it's making me ask why am i alive and stuff like that (wich is kinda scary sometimes)
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Old 11-26-2010, 10:07 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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You just have to push yourself to get out there and tackle life/stuff.
Remember it's the first step that is the hardest, it will get better the more you do it.
I am speaking from experience.
Good luck and have faith in yourself.
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Old 11-26-2010, 10:55 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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I'm the same way. I feel like I've spent my whole life being lazy and now I have to break the habit. Maybe it will be easier once I start to apply myself, but it's so hard.
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Old 11-27-2010, 04:12 AM   #11 (permalink)
 
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If you feel your IQ is high, maybe you will wait many years like I did for college, because you may feel your intelligence is not what is lacking.

There's got to be something that you really love out of life... whether it be in a reclining chair or not. I loved music, language, art, too many interests... but could not commit to a long term goal until I had a proper IQ test done. They told me my IQ was on the level of someone with 4 years of college, and gave me help getting into school. (Amazing, since I hardly showed for school from the beginning.)

Life is learning, whether it's organized or not. I've read so many books, made up so many songs, etc. Learned how to have healthier relationships.

Still lazy & tired a lot though!
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Old 11-28-2010, 01:22 AM   #12 (permalink)
 
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I usually don't see us as being lazy or having motivation issues at all. We work damn hard every day. We have to overcome more just going about our day-to-day stuff than most people can comprehend. Not only that, most of us have hobbies, goals, school or jobs that require us to go even further outside of our comfort zone. That requires an insane amount of psychological and physical effort for us. I hate it when people call me lazy, because I need 9 hours of sleep or take a nap. I need that down time. I can usually achieve the same things that a normal person can, but I need to adjust my timeline for breaks. So long as I keep the breaks under control, it's not a problem for me. Too many breaks and too long of breaks and depression starts up.
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Old 12-15-2010, 04:55 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Default I am in exactly the same boat.

I drop out around 10th grade because I was to lazy to get up. Finally I got pushed to get my GED. I have attended online colleges on and off again but I get to lazy and don't want to complete my classes so I just half *** them.

I have spurts where I am not lazy and I try to be productive and just end up quitting half way threw. I have worked but in didn't last long. I also have a little bit of social anxiety and cannot get the nerve or energy to get a license.

I don't wish to be like this and it sound easy to change but it is much more difficult then that. I have a wonderful boyfriend in my life and I feel guilty being like this, I want to be a well accomplished person. I score high on tests but I am to lazy to do the work.

Hope something helps if it does pass the secret!
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Old 12-15-2010, 09:29 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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I think some of my laziness comes from poor sleeping habits. I go to bed late at different times and then I wake up whenever, but I don't get that good a night sleep. So the next day I'm not so alert and what I want to do is just spend time staring at the computer/eating.
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Old 12-15-2010, 10:04 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Just Lurking View Post
Are you sure it's laziness and not depression?
According to the people around me (and also my psychiatrist), depression is no excuse to be lazy.

I just feel like I have been doing the "man up and get on with it" thing for so long that I've finally run out of steam. I slogged through high school due to fear of failure. I ploughed through college because of it. I lugged several projects through work solo due to my inability to co-ordinate with others. And I live somewhere where there are millions upon millions of people competing for just opportunity, if not success. I am tired, but I'm told stopping is not an option.
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Old 12-16-2010, 12:20 AM   #16 (permalink)
 
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I have a pretty similar problem. I'm 19, a sophomore in college, but getting pretty mediocre grades. I seriously have the HARDEST time motivating myself to even open a book. I'd rather watch tv or something. Studying gives me stress headaches and reminds me how stupid I am. I should be studying right now for my nutrition final tomorrow. I failed my physics final today. And I'm getting two C's this semester. I have the lowest GPA of everyone here that I know, and it's because I'm seriously incredibly lazy and unmotivated, so I kinda know how you feel.
As far as advice goes, I'd agree with what was said above- the harder you work now, the lazier you can be later on in life. You'll never regret going to college, but you're likely to regret not going to college. It's worth it- as much as it sucks. My motivation for going is that people will have more respect for me, so they can say "Well, she's super quiet, but she's a college graduate with a major in nutritional science." You know? Plus, we only get one chance at life- I'd rather spend it doing something useful then sitting around letting my life waste away. Maybe I suck at being social and I won't be able to make a lot of friends in my lifetime, but there are some worthwhile things I CAN do- and earning a college education is definitely one of them.
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Old 12-16-2010, 09:59 AM   #17 (permalink)
 
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Do you think you are unmotivated because you have no goals? Or do you feel like depression is keeping you from reaching your goals?
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Old 12-16-2010, 10:35 AM   #18 (permalink)
 
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I have no motivation. It's terrible.
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Old 12-16-2010, 05:41 PM   #19 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unambitious View Post
I am 21 years old.

I dropped out of high school after 11th grade simply because I didn't feel like going. I wanted to graduate, but I didn't want to put any work into it anymore. Before, I had my mother that would push me to go to school every day, so I did. It is here that I find out I am absolutely terrible at doing anything productive on my own terms.

I decided that I would try again just these past few years, so I enrolled in several online high schools. I failed all of them over and over again simply because I didn't feel like doing the work.

Besides this, I am not a stupid person. This is the especially pathetic part. I have a high IQ and can pass most tests given to me without needing to study. When I DO do my work and attend school, I get A's and B's.

I have no job, I have only had a couple in my lifetime - none of which lasted for more than a month before I quit (although to be fair, it was due to SA and not laziness). I don't have my license. I haven't accomplished most things that people my age normally would have by now.

I WANT to graduate from high school. I WANT to go to college and learn more things. I get sick at the thought of being 30 or older and being a poor, uneducated low life still living off of their friends'. I just... don't want it enough I guess?

I see my friends on Facebook and sites like that posting about how college is going, what work they have to do that night, classes of the day, etcetera. Whenever I see it my stomach turns. I wish I could be like them.

I am a terribly lazy and pathetic person, and I don't know how to be anything otherwise.

I am asking this from you, in my most desperate state, that if you have ANY advice for me at all, I will gladly listen. Honestly at this point, the harsher the advice you have, the better. I could use a good coaching. Please. I am in tears at this point. I hate myself for being such a dead weight.
I was the exact same way: I set the record for least number of classes attended in high school. However, I managed to scrape through most courses just by killing the exams.

I went back to school first just to upgrade one or two courses at a time, and I didn't start university until I was 23. It's been a long road in getting here, and I'm still by no means a perfect student, but after a while you do start to build up the attendance and study habits.

One thing I think you have to realize is that you're trying to live a life for which you haven't developed the tools, so maybe you need to start slowly. Take one online course instead of 5, and set a minimalist, reasonable goal for yourself, like I will get x amount of studying done this week.
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Old 12-16-2010, 07:03 PM   #20 (permalink)
 
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I'm not sure there's such a thing as lazy, although everyone seems to think there is. I'm called lazy when I'm not doing what other people expect me to do. I went to school, got a degree, but never used it because of my social anxiety. Now I'm way behind, and feel much the same way. One of the big problems for me was that I wasn't setting goals for myself; other people were setting them for me, and I was trying to please them. The fact that I wasn't clear in my goals made me lack confidence, procrastinate, avoid work, etc. Only now am I defining what I want for myself. I have a few goals now, but I'm still extremely fearful.

My advice is to stop beating yourself up about your past failure, and look at what is really holding you back. There is something there that's not allowing you to tap into the drive to build a better life for yourself. If you're on a social anxiety forum, it's probably a self-esteem issue. The best thing you can do is work on that, and set realistic goals.
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