i always feel left out - Social Anxiety Forum
X

Download the SAS Android App

Or switch to mobile version of the forums

X

Download the SAS iPhone App

Or switch to mobile version of the forums

Help/FAQLog InJoin SAS
Go Back   Social Anxiety Forum > Recovery > Frustration

Reply
Old 01-21-2010, 11:05 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Gender: Female
Age: 24
Posts: 685



Default i always feel left out

i always feel left out of things and that people favors certain people over me. i hate that feeling. especially when i reach out and im nice to people and they still reject me. i feel im not allowed to talk to any guys that have a gf and i feel i cant talk to guys if they are around girls. i dont know how those rules go. i just feel like a bother. any one feel like this?
1applehearts1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-21-2010, 11:12 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
Status: User Requested Permanent Ban
Join Date: Jun 2009
Gender: Male
Age: 28
Posts: 5,875



Default

Yes. My attempts to connect to people have always been unsuccessful, and most likely always will be. I think and act so differently that the chances of meeting someone I can relate to, and who will accept me as I am are astronomically low. I still keep stubbornly trying to fit in with the world, even though it gets harder and harder every day.
shadowmask is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-21-2010, 11:14 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Gender: Female
Age: 24
Posts: 685



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by shadowmask View Post
Yes. My attempts to connect to people have always been unsuccessful, and most likely always will be. I think and act so differently that the chances of meeting someone I can relate to, and who will accept me as I am are astronomically low. I still keep stubbornly trying to fit in with the world, even though it gets harder and harder every day.
yeah man i swear everyday i feel more and more isolated and have less and less hope. it seems harder and harder to make new aquaintances let alone new friends. its very hard. i hate feeling left out. thats why at work i always keep busy. :/
1applehearts1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-21-2010, 11:42 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
fictionz's Avatar
 
Status: wanderer with hope
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: somewhere out there
Gender: Female
Age: 26
Posts: 666



Default

I feel that way sometimes yeah. It feels like I don't belong there wherever I go. It makes me wanna pull myself out from that situation even more, thinking that nobody liked me there, as if staying around would just leave me more anxious without any good coming out of it.
__________________
I think the root of our problems all begin with understanding ourselves.

Let go. Be free.
fictionz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-21-2010, 11:47 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
Cedilla's Avatar
 
Status: In perpetual wait.
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Alabama
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Posts: 387



Default

I used to feel left out all the time. I still get the feelings sometimes, but I realize most of it is all in my head. For instance when some of my co-workers just don't want to talk to me some days and its like talking to a brick wall. I usually try to start a conversation, then I leave them alone because I understand I act the same way sometimes.

When it comes to strangers not seeming very welcome toward me, its usually because I don't look very approachable, as in I always try to look like im busy, and if Im not around people I know very well, I never smile or look any other way than pissed off. I just can't change the way I am, Im just very reserved around people I don't know very well. I just assume if people hang around me long enough in my reserved state, then they are worthy of hearing what I really have to say.
Cedilla is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-21-2010, 11:55 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Gender: Female
Age: 24
Posts: 685



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cedilla View Post
I used to feel left out all the time. I still get the feelings sometimes, but I realize most of it is all in my head. For instance when some of my co-workers just don't want to talk to me some days and its like talking to a brick wall. I usually try to start a conversation, then I leave them alone because I understand I act the same way sometimes.

When it comes to strangers not seeming very welcome toward me, its usually because I don't look very approachable, as in I always try to look like im busy, and if Im not around people I know very well, I never smile or look any other way than pissed off. I just can't change the way I am, Im just very reserved around people I don't know very well. I just assume if people hang around me long enough in my reserved state, then they are worthy of hearing what I really have to say.
i feel the same way us people with SA are just misunderstood

nothing worse than being excluded, i hate that. i hate being seen alone. makes me feel like such a loser
1applehearts1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2010, 01:40 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
Cedilla's Avatar
 
Status: In perpetual wait.
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Alabama
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Posts: 387



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1applehearts1 View Post
i feel the same way us people with SA are just misunderstood

nothing worse than being excluded, i hate that. i hate being seen alone. makes me feel like such a loser
If im alone, I can't stay in one place at all. I usually just walk around like im going somewhere just so people wont notice that im alone somewhere.

I got stood up by my now ex-girlfriend when she was supposed to meet me at this concert a few months ago. I just walked around in a half panicked state for like an hour until I left, I did not even stay long enough to see one of my favorite bands. Everyone there seemed to be in a group or they had people to hang with except for me. Whats worse is I seen some people I knew, but I could not approach them cause I just felt so awful that night.
Cedilla is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2010, 01:59 AM   #8 (permalink)
 
Saekon's Avatar
 
Status: The Round Circle
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Australia, NSW
Gender: Male
Age: 19
Posts: 733



Default

When I'm alone, I only feel like a loser because other people think I'm a loser and therefore consider me one and treat me as one.

Also, don't forget, people are different, some people may just prefer different people than you because of their own preferences.

Sometimes I feel out of place to, at those times I just want to leave and go do my own thing rather than having to put up with other people.
Saekon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2010, 07:45 AM   #9 (permalink)
 
Stargirl09's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Wyke, Bradford
Gender: Female
Posts: 697



Default

Yes, I always try look like I have somewhere to be right now! But I'm sure ppl know me as that loner. One of the times I feel most alone is when I'm in the changing rooms of a fashion shop and there's like two girls next door chatting away about how their outfits look from all angles. Thats when I feel like a little sappy weirdo shrimp or something!
__________________
The biggest mistake you can make in life is to be continually afraid of making one-Elbert Hubbard
Stargirl09 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2010, 08:17 AM   #10 (permalink)
 
GrimedMechanic86's Avatar
 
Status: Resentful
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: USA, TX
Gender: Male
Age: 27
Posts: 249



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stargirl09 View Post
Yes, I always try look like I have somewhere to be right now! But I'm sure ppl know me as that loner. One of the times I feel most alone is when I'm in the changing rooms of a fashion shop and there's like two girls next door chatting away about how their outfits look from all angles. Thats when I feel like a little sappy weirdo shrimp or something!
Oh puhleasse! There ain't nothing wrong shopping on your own! Go and do it! Don't feel like you are some sort of outcast because your not.

Like me I go out shopping every once in awhile and I buy "manly" things like boxers and socks! lol. And hell, I'll walk through the lingerie aisle and get mean looks from women and men alike. But I wouldn't give a damn, I'm buying clothes, not looking for peoples approval!
GrimedMechanic86 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2010, 01:38 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
kiwikiwi's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 732



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by StarryMessenger View Post
I can totally relate to that. I remember it was so embarassing back in school. I would rather hide in the toilet and skip lunch then to be seen eating alone in the canteen during break.

I always tried to cling on to this particular group of people for lunch even though I wasn't exactly welcome by them and pretended to be part of their group. If they weren't around, it was straight to the toilet for me.
I never had that problem back in high school . I even had my own clique just 3 friends but at least was something . Things got worse after graduation , college wasnt what i expected i lost all my friends and the new ones just came and go and i started to retreat more and more into isolation(which i dont have a problem with ) it just that its so difficult to feel a connection when my ideals , beliefs have changed to a higher perspective .People think im a weirdo for bringing other topics into the friendship table that are not the typical everyday stuff.

It really aggravates me when the internet has been the only place you can reach out to like minded people but not even that anymore .

I cannot connect to anyone not even on the web , it just feels so impersonal . My mind is always on a better place where my body is left behind with an scenario that doesnt hold my interest anymore .
kiwikiwi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2010, 08:19 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Gender: Female
Age: 24
Posts: 685



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cedilla View Post
If im alone, I can't stay in one place at all. I usually just walk around like im going somewhere just so people wont notice that im alone somewhere.

I got stood up by my now ex-girlfriend when she was supposed to meet me at this concert a few months ago. I just walked around in a half panicked state for like an hour until I left, I did not even stay long enough to see one of my favorite bands. Everyone there seemed to be in a group or they had people to hang with except for me. Whats worse is I seen some people I knew, but I could not approach them cause I just felt so awful that night.
im so sorry thats awful
1applehearts1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2010, 08:21 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Gender: Female
Age: 24
Posts: 685



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by StarryMessenger View Post
I can totally relate to that. I remember it was so embarassing back in school. I would rather hide in the toilet and skip lunch then to be seen eating alone in the canteen during break.

I always tried to cling on to this particular group of people for lunch even though I wasn't exactly welcome by them and pretended to be part of their group. If they weren't around, it was straight to the toilet for me.
like from 8th grade til 11th i ate lunch in the bathroom. i hated it. i couldnt be seen alone :/ sometimes my art teacher would come and talk to me, he was really nice
1applehearts1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2010, 11:04 AM   #14 (permalink)
 
Azndude's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Cali
Gender: Male
Age: 24
Posts: 11



Default

applehearts i would have eaten with you : )

but then again i was also lonely.
why is human interaction so complicated
Azndude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2010, 02:11 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Gender: Female
Age: 24
Posts: 685



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Azndude View Post
applehearts i would have eaten with you : )

but then again i was also lonely.
why is human interaction so complicated
aw thanks youre so sweet. its ok i know how you feel too :/ <3 vi would have sat next to you too youre so nice
1applehearts1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2010, 02:28 PM   #16 (permalink)
 
Freiheit's Avatar
 
Status: o_O
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: USA
Gender: Female
Age: 22
Posts: 5,568



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1applehearts1 View Post
like from 8th grade til 11th i ate lunch in the bathroom. i hated it. i couldnt be seen alone :/ sometimes my art teacher would come and talk to me, he was really nice
I ate lunch in the bathroom too.
Freiheit is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2010, 03:11 PM   #17 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 30



Default

people are strange, the social rules are even more so.

i don't really know what to say because i avoid the whole dating/romance thing [something that i'm not so socially anxious over, i just don't like it xD never have been the romantic type] but i DO wish you the best. < 3

lirl i would've sat with all you guys at lunch! < 333 i don't even eat lunch here, i kind of sit in a corner and do homework plus i hate people watching me eat. xD;
scabbyelbows is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2010, 03:41 PM   #18 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Gender: Male
Age: 21
Posts: 224



Default

I love the school lunch in my school, i eat alone everyday. It used to bother me allot but now i sit down and enjoy my food and try to forget that there's hundreds of people around me. It works from time time ;P
moveon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2011, 06:11 PM   #19 (permalink)
 
IGotAddicted's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: PA, Lebanon
Gender: Male
Age: 26
Posts: 57



Default

Oh my reading everyone posts. I totally relate with all you guys. I know the feeling it truly sucks it's like I hate beings seen alone doing anything honestly because I hate seeing a group of people talking about things and I often wish I can be part of that. The feeling of being left out is indeed irritating it's something everyday I wish to change and everyday I start to less hope and some days don't bother me haha.

To be honest, I feel good when someone all of sudden ask if they may join me like to start a conversation or a random person talks to me. It feels good inside but after the conversation I think everything I said was it worthy enough or ya know yea haha.
__________________
korean pop addict
all day and everyday
IGotAddicted is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-23-2011, 06:20 PM   #20 (permalink)
 
faded flowers's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Gender: Female
Age: 26
Posts: 69



Default

Yes, i always feel like this. It seems when i am trying something new that involves being put in a new group of people i do well for the first 2 weeks or so but then everyone else connects with people and i feel left out. And then i begin to come up with excuses for why i am left out like "Oh these people suck anyways" but i feel that i do this as a way to cope. It's just honestly being angry that i don't fit in. I guess i don't come off as confident or social enough. I always get that stereotype of being shy, it makes everything hopeless. Like how am i ever going to find people that wanna talk to me..
faded flowers is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Feeling left behind... or left out? Out of place? No purpose? Alone? XxArmyofOnexX Frustration 6 09-23-2012 11:31 PM
Anyone else feel left out in the chatroom? Tappman Frustration 56 09-09-2009 10:04 PM
Acting stuck up when I feel left out la extrana Coping With Social Anxiety 14 03-08-2007 03:09 PM
NOT opening up to others in classroom setting..feel left out Halcyon Students 2 02-18-2007 08:34 PM
NOT opening up to others in classroom setting..feel left out Halcyon Coping With Social Anxiety 11 02-18-2007 07:32 AM

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:14 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® ©2000-2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.