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Old 03-19-2012, 02:09 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default How do I find out if I'm ugly, plain, or attractive.

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Old 03-19-2012, 02:17 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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It is difficult sometimes. My parents have said in the past "you're a handsome lad" and so on. But we'd all have to admit our parent's opinions are irrelevant, it's the women out there whose opinion we really care about.

Photos do, as you say, vary hugely. I've been graded from a 2 to a 7. I think I'm certainly on the ugly side though as I get zero interest from women, so that's my barometer.
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Old 03-19-2012, 02:28 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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It is difficult sometimes. My parents have said in the past "you're a handsome lad" and so on. But we'd all have to admit our parent's opinions are irrelevant, it's the women out there whose opinion we really care about.

Photos do, as you say, vary hugely. I've been graded from a 2 to a 7. I think I'm certainly on the ugly side though as I get zero interest from women, so that's my barometer.
Photos do lie. I'm not kidding, I have around 10 photos of me (once again, full frontal shots taken with a good camera) where I am attractive. No matter who I ask, be it a teen dating forum or whatever, people say i'm cute. I even posted them on a dating site and actually got responses from real girls.

Then I have photos where I am super plain looking.

And then I have photos where I am genuinely considered ugly.

I'm really not sure which shows the real me. My cousin told me last year that I look very different in photos but keep in mind, I look different between the ATTRACTIVE pictures as well. I don't look like the same person in all my "good" pics. Plus, when she told me that, all my photos on facebook were taken by a crappy 2 megapixel camera so of course I'd look different. I use 10mp minimum now for my fb photos.

I don't know. I was sitting with my cousin and her friends and one girl whispered to my cousin that I look like the person my cousin has a crush on.

I went to a dance once (first time) and a random girl came up and started grinding with me for 20 seconds. Then she just left. I don't know, maybe i make it awkward because i didn't really know how to respond.

At the same dance, a group of girls I didnt know grabbed me by the t-shirt and brought me into a big circle where a few of them grinded with me.

I still don't know. I wish I could just friggin found out.
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Old 03-19-2012, 02:29 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Photos do lie. I'm not kidding, I have around 10 photos of me (once again, full frontal shots taken with a good camera) where I am attractive. No matter who I ask, be it a teen dating forum or whatever, people say i'm cute. I even posted them on a dating site and actually got responses from real girls.
Then I have photos where I am super plain looking.

And then I have photos where I am genuinely considered ugly.

I'm really not sure which shows the real me. My cousin told me last year that I look very different in photos but keep in mind, I look different between the ATTRACTIVE pictures as well. I don't look like the same person in all my "good" pics. Plus, when she told me that, all my photos on facebook were taken by a crappy 2 megapixel camera so of course I'd look different. I use 10mp minimum now for my fb photos.

I don't know. I was sitting with my cousin and her friends and one girl whispered to my cousin that I look like the person my cousin has a crush on.

I went to a dance once (first time) and a random girl came up and started grinding with me for 20 seconds. Then she just left. I don't know, maybe i make it awkward because i didn't really know how to respond.

At the same dance, a group of girls I didnt know grabbed me by the t-shirt and brought me into a big circle where a few of them grinded with me.

I still don't know. I wish I could just friggin found out.

I look SIGNIFCANTLY better when someoneelse takes a photo of me by the way. I look damn good in my university card photo
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Old 03-19-2012, 02:30 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Post a pic here ill give u a serious opinion with no flattery
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Old 03-19-2012, 02:35 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by Alexestalex View Post
Then I have photos where I am super plain looking.

And then I have photos where I am genuinely considered ugly.

I'm really not sure which shows the real me. My cousin told me last year that I look very different in photos but keep in mind, I look different between the ATTRACTIVE pictures as well. I don't look like the same person in all my "good" pics. Plus, when she told me that, all my photos on facebook were taken by a crappy 2 megapixel camera so of course I'd look different. I use 10mp minimum now for my fb photos.

I don't know. I was sitting with my cousin and her friends and one girl whispered to my cousin that I look like the person my cousin has a crush on.

I went to a dance once (first time) and a random girl came up and started grinding with me for 20 seconds. Then she just left. I don't know, maybe i make it awkward because i didn't really know how to respond.

At the same dance, a group of girls I didnt know grabbed me by the t-shirt and brought me into a big circle where a few of them grinded with me.

I still don't know. I wish I could just friggin found out.

I look SIGNIFCANTLY better when someoneelse takes a photo of me by the way. I look damn good in my university card photo
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Post a pic here ill give u a serious opinion with no flattery
You clearly didn't read my post...
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Old 03-19-2012, 02:40 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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The only answer to that is gonna come from you, and only you. Other people's opinions will vary, and if you're basing your self-esteem on what you look like based on others' opinions, you're never gonna be happy with yourself. Figure out your good features that you like, and learn to accept the ones you don't. Once you do that, then others' 1-10 ratings and all that won't matter.
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Old 03-19-2012, 02:43 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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The only answer to that is gonna come from you, and only you. Other people's opinions will vary, and if you're basing your self-esteem on what you look like based on others' opinions, you're never gonna be happy with yourself. Figure out your good features that you like, and learn to accept the ones you don't. Once you do that, then others' 1-10 ratings and all that won't matter.
My question isn't about accepting myself.

My question is about figuring out how SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE I am to other people.

Self esteem has nothing to do with sexual FACIAL attractiveness. Confidence has nothing to do with it either.

Facial attractiveness is 100% based on small, subtle features of the same. The symmetry, the distance from eyes to nose, the prominence of cheekbones with regard of how wide the face is, and so forth. Small, tiny things.

Saying "confidence" is key is like saying that being confident makes your bad breathe or smelly armpits go away. It doesn't.
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Old 03-19-2012, 02:52 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by Barette View Post
The only answer to that is gonna come from you, and only you. Other people's opinions will vary, and if you're basing your self-esteem on what you look like based on others' opinions, you're never gonna be happy with yourself. Figure out your good features that you like, and learn to accept the ones you don't. Once you do that, then others' 1-10 ratings and all that won't matter.
This is good advice, the sliding scale of 1-10 is always going to be that. Attraction and beauty is fluid and subjective, doens't matter if you're a guy or a girl, if you enjoy what you have and it shows then people are going to be attracted to you.

Stop thinking about numbers, if you want a confidence boost start working out or working towards an achievable goal. Your appearance should not be at the forefront of your persona.
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Old 03-19-2012, 02:55 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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This is good advice, the sliding scale of 1-10 is always going to be that. Attraction and beauty is fluid and subjective, doens't matter if you're a guy or a girl, if you enjoy what you have and it shows then people are going to be attracted to you.

Stop thinking about numbers, if you want a confidence boost start working out or working towards an achievable goal. Your appearance should not be at the forefront of your persona.
I was 95% sure that my post would be filled with lies like this =/

Do you seriously believe what you're saying or are you just that desperate to be mainstream? I'm seriously wondering.

"if you enjoy what you have and it shows then people are going to be attracted to you"

This is such a ....... lie.
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Old 03-19-2012, 03:28 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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I was 95% sure that my post would be filled with lies like this =/

Do you seriously believe what you're saying or are you just that desperate to be mainstream? I'm seriously wondering.

"if you enjoy what you have and it shows then people are going to be attracted to you"

This is such a ....... lie.

Your perspective is geared towards a fickle and uncertain existance, if you want to be happy then you need to step outside your box.

If you're genuinely self assured and confident, then you're (nearly)always going to come out on top in social situations . This shouldn't have to come from your looks, and when you grow up more and get out in the real world you'll begin to see it for yourself.

Good luck!
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"I wash myself with a rag on a stick"
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Old 03-19-2012, 03:40 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Your perspective is geared towards a fickle and uncertain existance, if you want to be happy then you need to step outside your box.

If you're genuinely self assured and confident, then you're (nearly)always going to come out on top in social situations . This shouldn't have to come from your looks, and when you grow up more and get out in the real world you'll begin to see it for yourself.

Good luck!

Not really. I just want to know where I stand in the looks department.

Just like people want to know how tall they are. How good their grades are. What their IQ is. How fast they can run a 100m dash. How long they can hold their breathe.
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Old 03-19-2012, 03:43 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Your perspective is geared towards a fickle and uncertain existance, if you want to be happy then you need to step outside your box.

If you're genuinely self assured and confident, then you're (nearly)always going to come out on top in social situations . This shouldn't have to come from your looks, and when you grow up more and get out in the real world you'll begin to see it for yourself.

Good luck!

I just want to know where I stand in the looks department just like people want to know how tall they are, what their IQ is, how their health is, and how long they can hold their breathe for.

I'll use an analogy to describe my situation. I feel like a soldier that is unsure whether or not my gun contains ammunition. If I find out that I have no ammo, I'll come to terms with the fact that taking out my foe (IE getting a girlfriend) will be harder. If I find out that my gun does have bullets, I'll be reassured. But not knowing whether I have ammo or not is REALLY frustrating.
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Old 03-19-2012, 04:28 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by Alexestalex:1059762063
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Originally Posted by Barette View Post
The only answer to that is gonna come from you, and only you. Other people's opinions will vary, and if you're basing your self-esteem on what you look like based on others' opinions, you're never gonna be happy with yourself. Figure out your good features that you like, and learn to accept the ones you don't. Once you do that, then others' 1-10 ratings and all that won't matter.
My question isn't about accepting myself.

My question is about figuring out how SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE I am to other people.

Self esteem has nothing to do with sexual FACIAL attractiveness. Confidence has nothing to do with it either.

Facial attractiveness is 100% based on small, subtle features of the same. The symmetry, the distance from eyes to nose, the prominence of cheekbones with regard of how wide the face is, and so forth. Small, tiny things.

Saying "confidence" is key is like saying that being confident makes your bad breathe or smelly armpits go away. It doesn't.
First of all, you seem to be basing your sexual attractiveness on just your face. From my experience there are at least 3 types of attraction. The basis of each being physical, personality, and biochemical. Where you seem to be basing everything is on the physical... and only on your face which is only part of what makes up physical attraction. As far as sexual attraction goes, from my experience it is based on the above 3 types of attraction. The 3 meshed together is what makes up everyone's individual perception of what is sexually attractive. To think that everyone finds the same thing sexually attractive is just being narrow minded. Granted that many people find certain physical attributes physically appealing. There are many people in the world and views are bound to overlap. I think what you are asking for is does your face fall into what is most accepted as sexually attractive. This I think is more obtainable than is your face sexually attractive. I dont mean to be detramental or demeaning. There are many that ask this question. Many that search for social acceptance. It ultimately falls to us to determine our own level of social acceptance that is ok for us. It seems to me that your search for acceptance of sexual attractiveness may prove difficult to you because the wide array of what is consideres sexually attractive. My advise is to not look solely at your face as your as the only thing that others may find as sexually attractive. I hope you find the answers that you are searching for. There are many ways to take on the search for a companion. I suggest starting with making good friends. Doing so can widen your options to finding someone. I am not sure what else I can say. Good luck to you and everyone else trying to find there way in what can be the lonely journey that is life. Dont give up. There is always hope.
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Old 03-19-2012, 05:08 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by Alexestalex View Post
I just want to know where I stand in the looks department just like people want to know how tall they are, what their IQ is, how their health is, and how long they can hold their breathe for.

I'll use an analogy to describe my situation. I feel like a soldier that is unsure whether or not my gun contains ammunition. If I find out that I have no ammo, I'll come to terms with the fact that taking out my foe (IE getting a girlfriend) will be harder. If I find out that my gun does have bullets, I'll be reassured. But not knowing whether I have ammo or not is REALLY frustrating.

Everyone has ammo, you've just got to get out and live life. And ask out girls along the way, you'll get out what you put in.

Sorry we can't answer your question, but it's one of those thngs that only you can come to terms with.
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"I wash myself with a rag on a stick"
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Old 03-19-2012, 05:14 PM   #16 (permalink)
 
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Not really. I just want to know where I stand in the looks department.

Just like people want to know how tall they are. How good their grades are. What their IQ is. How fast they can run a 100m dash. How long they can hold their breathe.
It's not a set thing though. I can measure myself and know I'm 5'10" but two people can argue and whether or not Brad Pitt is good-looking, cause there's women out there who think he's plain, while others think he's handsome. Like when you said you get all different answers depending on the photo, that's not gonna change. That's why I'm saying it's not whether or not you're good-looking, cause that's not set in stone, it's whether or not you feel good-looking, and obviously you don't since you're asking how to find out. And you can't find out from other people, it's gonna come from within.
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Old 03-19-2012, 05:15 PM   #17 (permalink)
 
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Simple, post a picture, and I'll tell you.
However, that'll only tell you if "I" think you are attractive... not what anyone else thinks.
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Old 03-19-2012, 06:02 PM   #18 (permalink)
 
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It's not a set thing though. I can measure myself and know I'm 5'10" but two people can argue and whether or not Brad Pitt is good-looking, cause there's women out there who think he's plain, while others think he's handsome. Like when you said you get all different answers depending on the photo, that's not gonna change. That's why I'm saying it's not whether or not you're good-looking, cause that's not set in stone, it's whether or not you feel good-looking, and obviously you don't since you're asking how to find out. And you can't find out from other people, it's gonna come from within.

Theyve done studies on this. They got ppl of diff ages and races to rate faces and most of the ratings matched.

Anyway ive figured out how i will do this, im going to set up my own psychological experiment where i will find four guys (2 average, one hot, and one ugly)

I will pay them $.

Ill find about $20 girls and pay them money too to rate guys "for scientific purposes" ill keep the ratings confidential to assure the women their ratings wont hurt anyones feelings

The girls, one by one, will rate the guys. Ill use a tinted window so it wont be awkward for either of the parties.

Ill be one of the guys getting rated. Ill see how i score. And tadah

Ill see how closely/far i deviate from the hot guys ratings.

Itll cost about $300 but it will solve a problem that has been RUINING my life for over a year.
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Old 03-19-2012, 06:06 PM   #19 (permalink)
 
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I honestly thought I was going crazy because I thought I was the only one who had the issue of looking different from picture to picture.

In about 25% of my pictures, I look like a regular guy

In the rest, I look this thing:

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Old 03-19-2012, 07:07 PM   #20 (permalink)
 
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I urge you to take others advice and stop being so fixated on this scale. You say confidence has nothing to do with it? Im guessing you've never had a girlfriend. Not saying that to be mean, but because you are obsessed with this idea that you have to look a certain way to get "attractive" girls. THat is 99% BULL ****. Girls will approach you when you exude confidence, I guarantee it. Why? Because I used to have the same idea you had. And guess what. My face hasn't suddenly changed. So why do girls come to me now when they never showed interest in high school? Because I gained confidence and self esteem. Until you understand that, you will never be satisfied with our responses

And once you gain the confidence everything else like small talk, flirting, getting laid, whatever will fall into place with practice
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