How do I deal with looking creepy or scary to people? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 05:14 PM Thread Starter
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How do I deal with looking creepy or scary to people?

I'm not the most attractive guy in the world, which is compounded by what I consider to be a scary/ creepy appearance. I have large eyes and a cold stare, which turns people off as soon as they lay eyes on me. I don't know how I can get past this in order to form relationships. I've literally heard people say, 'I don't like his face,' or 'he looks mean.' I've tried to combat this by smiling and greeting people, but that doesn't seem to make a difference.
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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 09:44 PM
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Think of something funny or goofy while you're out and that will reduce any anxiety you're feeling and relax your face. Or do what they used to say when you have to give a speech- picture everyone in funny looking underwear.
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post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 11:18 PM
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Usually when someone comes across as creepy, its because of their body language and how they carry themselves not their looks alongwith not showing emotion, blank face, cold dead eyes, etc.
Once you fix this, you should be good. But that is easier said than done.

“The world is indeed full of peril and in it there are many dark places.
But still there is much that is fair. And though in all lands, love is now
mingled with grief, it still grows, perhaps, the greater.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
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post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 02:49 AM
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That's actually a good photo from an artistic standpoint (the avatar, if that's you). It's true some people have a resting b1tch face. But even if your resting face is set a certain way, you can override it with body language, like smiling easily, etc.
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post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 03:21 AM
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could you try squinting the eye's a little when you smile ? soften them a bit?

If that is you in the avatar, it does look a bit mean but not scary

I never worked a day in my life, I just lay back and let the big beat lead me

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post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-22-2017, 01:28 AM
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The best remedy to a creepy stare is to simply smile.
I look miserable when I'm not smiling (a lot of people do actually) so I smirk or full-on smile when speaking to people (especially women).
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post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-22-2017, 01:31 AM
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Sorry, I know you said that you tried smiling but quite honestly smiling is just about the best option when it comes to seeming approachable to people.

Are people saying you look creepy even when you smile or is it you simply conjuring that thought in your head? You shouldn't feel discouraged from smiling because of what you 'think' you look like.
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post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-22-2017, 01:40 AM
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Just get in the habit of smiling very slightly and loosen your eyebrow muscles to make sure you're not frowning. I have a resting b*tch face so every few minutes I loosen the muscles that are tensed up, and smile very slightly (very slightly because it's probably creepy to have a huge smile on your face by yourself). That way you have a softer looking expression when people look at you.

i like britney spears. please talk to me.


I wonder what I seem like to you, and to them too. Maybe I don't really seem like anything at all.
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post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-22-2017, 01:57 AM
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If that's you in your avatar, you don't look creepy at all. Maybe the direct stare but not your face for sure. I feel like I have the opposite problem sometimes, I smile and laugh by default (I do it when I'm nervous, which is all the time lol) so people think I'm friendly when I really want them to leave me alone. I think smiling and laughing is definitely key, relaxed or jovial posture. Using with a gentle and friendly tone when you talk. I feel a bit creeped out if people make direct eye contact with me all the time, so maybe don't do that as much is happens to be a habit of yours.
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post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-22-2017, 02:31 AM
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I have the same problem too. Many have called me out of always looking like I'm angry or having a bad mood, when I'm not. Even when I'm happy. I think it helps to usually try to tilt your head a bit up, as it gives you a more confident and more opened and approachable friendly expression.

If that's you on your avatar, you do in fact look a bit angry and intimidating as it seems like you're staring with you head tilt a bit downward. It gives an angry illusion when your eyes are staring a bit up.

Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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