Story of my life.... Over the years, I've been rejected so many times by guys. In high school, I had crushes, and they definitely crushed me alright. Had them treat me like dirt when they found out that I liked them and made it VERY obvious they weren't interested. It hurt so bad and scarred me.
Then, I tried online relationships (not online dating sites). I've had several of those, which usually end, because the guy can't deal with me and my depression and anxiety issues. And I always end up feeling left behind and abandoned.
Also, I've actually even tried online dating sites. I never get any messages hardly. And I'd try to initiate convos, but it'd never seem to go anywhere. Either the guys would want to use me for sex or didn't really want anything to do with me. Not even be friends with me in person. :/
And then whenever I have love interests online a lot now, it seems like even THEY'RE not into me in that way.... I've had one guy, who has seemed to have a little interest in me, but he won't ever give in and commit. We temporarily dated during my last trip to see him last year, but only because it was agreed we'd cut it off when I went home, because he's not ready for a full-blown relationship. He admits he has feelings for me. Sometimes, it doesn't feel like it since he canceled the trips a few months back and won't tell me why exactly...
Then, I started talking to a guy from this site. He's probably one I've talked to the most so far from on here. I was trying not to get too attached, but I can't help it. I really like his personality and find him to be cute, but he's currently into another girl and wanting to see how it works out with her. I don't even think he likes me anyway and would be interested in that way without her in the picture. I can just tell.
I feel like hardly any guys are attracted to me with my physical differences with the condition I was born with and with my speech problems. That's probably one big factor that turns them off. I just wish I was more attractive for one thing. And then I wish I wasn't disabled and could have more of a life. Then, I wouldn't be so depressed and anxious.
But anyway, you'd think I'd be used to things after all the rejection I've received over the years. But I'm not.... It hurts just the same. In fact, sometimes, I think it keeps piling up more and more and making me feel even more hopeless.