Social Anxiety Support

bluebluesplayer · 11-06-2009, 09:25 PM

For instance at a group social you receive the silent treatment from certain members because they don't want you there.

How did it make you feel?

Do people create bad karma when they do that?

millenniumman75 · 11-06-2009, 11:55 PM

To be honest, they do in response to me excluding them. I can't believe I just posted that, but it is true. If I am the one who excludes myself, I should not expect others to include me in the long run. They also have feelings.

Catching Fire · 11-07-2009, 07:42 AM

Well towards the end of high school two out of the four people in my little clique of friends decided they didn't like me. They started excluding me from things and would invite my other friends but not me. I actually dealt with it pretty well. I didn't feel they were better then me, cooler then me, or I wasn't good enough. I felt they were cowards. They did everything very discretely and would treat me well when I was around although everyone myself included knew they didn't like me. With college coming up and my SA improving I just kind of moved past it.

KumagoroBeam · 11-07-2009, 07:47 AM

No, because I exclude myself from the group before it happens. As soon as I pick up on someone not wanting me there, I leave.

pita · 11-07-2009, 03:09 PM

It made me feel like ****, but I get why they excluded me.

rescued · 11-07-2009, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catching Fire

Well towards the end of high school two out of the four people in my little clique of friends decided they didn't like me. They started excluding me from things and would invite my other friends but not me. I actually dealt with it pretty well. I didn't feel they were better then me, cooler then me, or I wasn't good enough. I felt they were cowards. They did everything very discretely and would treat me well when I was around although everyone myself included knew they didn't like me. With college coming up and my SA improving I just kind of moved past it.

Pretty much this exact thing happened to me, too. It really, really bothered me at the time but not so much now, the people involved basically isolated themselves from a lot of people.

A couple of months ago, I went to a show with one of my best friends, who I've been worrying is slowly replacing me with his new friends he met on the internet, he's started doing things we used to do together with them and stuff. He showed up with about ten of these people, spent the entire evening with them and afterwards, told me he was going out with them. I think one of them actually took the time to speak to me. It was horrible, I spent the whole night feeling awkward, standing on the edge of them all like I was someone pretending to know them.

hushhush · 11-07-2009, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rescued

Pretty much this exact thing happened to me, too. It really, really bothered me at the time but not so much now, the people involved basically isolated themselves from a lot of people.

A couple of months ago, I went to a show with one of my best friends, who I've been worrying is slowly replacing me with his new friends he met on the internet, he's started doing things we used to do together with them and stuff. He showed up with about ten of these people, spent the entire evening with them and afterwards, told me he was going out with them. I think one of them actually took the time to speak to me. It was horrible, I spent the whole night feeling awkward, standing on the edge of them all like I was someone pretending to know them.

see, that's just rude! I have some compassionate friends who know I am shy and who I THINK wouldn't treat me like that. Is your friend kind of a fair-weather friend?

rescued · 11-07-2009, 04:39 PM

He isn't, we're really tight and have been for a long time, which probably makes it worse. I don't think he actually realised he was doing it or that it would bother me, and I'm not someone who's going to say anything about it.

hushhush · 11-07-2009, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rescued

He isn't, we're really tight and have been for a long time, which probably makes it worse. I don't think he actually realised he was doing it or that it would bother me, and I'm not someone who's going to say anything about it.

I see.
I think i can relate. i think a lot of my friends have compartimentalized me into a category of doing more "chill" things - not including going out on the town. They just don't think of me when they're doing those things.

LaRibbon · 11-08-2009, 05:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pita

It made me feel like ****, but I get why they excluded me.

ditto

Quote:

I think i can relate. i think a lot of my friends have compartimentalized me into a category of doing more "chill" things - not including going out on the town. They just don't think of me when they're doing those things.

I get compartimentalized a lot to.

epril · 11-08-2009, 05:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by millenniumman75

To be honest, they do in response to me excluding them. I can't believe I just posted that, but it is true. If I am the one who excludes myself, I should not expect others to include me in the long run. They also have feelings.

I feel the same way. On a good day.

11-06-2009, 09:25 PM	#1 (permalink)
bluebluesplayer Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 102	Have you ever been excluded from a group? For instance at a group social you receive the silent treatment from certain members because they don't want you there. How did it make you feel? Do people create bad karma when they do that?

11-06-2009, 11:55 PM	#2 (permalink)
millenniumman75 Status: Super Moderator Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Dayton-Cincinnati, OH Gender: Male Age: 34 Posts: 38,628	To be honest, they do in response to me excluding them. I can't believe I just posted that, but it is true. If I am the one who excludes myself, I should not expect others to include me in the long run. They also have feelings. __________________ millenniumman75 You are a success story waiting to happen! Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover.... Live and HELP live is better!

11-07-2009, 07:42 AM	#3 (permalink)
Catching Fire Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 452	Well towards the end of high school two out of the four people in my little clique of friends decided they didn't like me. They started excluding me from things and would invite my other friends but not me. I actually dealt with it pretty well. I didn't feel they were better then me, cooler then me, or I wasn't good enough. I felt they were cowards. They did everything very discretely and would treat me well when I was around although everyone myself included knew they didn't like me. With college coming up and my SA improving I just kind of moved past it. __________________ No chains on my feet but Im not free- Bob Marley

11-07-2009, 07:47 AM	#4 (permalink)
KumagoroBeam Status: snafu Join Date: Sep 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 777	No, because I exclude myself from the group before it happens. As soon as I pick up on someone not wanting me there, I leave. __________________ "Without music, life would be a mistake"

11-07-2009, 03:09 PM	#5 (permalink)
pita Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Gender: Female Posts: 2,168	It made me feel like ****, but I get why they excluded me.

11-07-2009, 04:39 PM	#8 (permalink)
rescued Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 2	He isn't, we're really tight and have been for a long time, which probably makes it worse. I don't think he actually realised he was doing it or that it would bother me, and I'm not someone who's going to say anything about it.