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Old 03-03-2010, 02:39 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default Getting picked on at work

I don't know what's been happening to me these past few months but I'm so tired and weak and frustrated with everything that I've been going through and work hasn't exactly been easy on me as well.
These guys are nice to me and they throw a bit of banter now and again but there's these two who just milk anything thrown at me and make it out bigger than what it actually is just to get to me. I don't know what's their problem with me.
I understand what happened yesterday but I just froze and I wanted to cry so bad. It's just that my last work place wasn't easy to work for the first few years and it just all brought up bad memories.
I actually had to hold it in till I got home and then cried silently quiet a bit, just thinking about everything that's been on mind and that I've had to put up with. I don't know what to do. This is not like me I've changed so much I have no self confidence., I can't speak up and I can't seem to trust anyone.
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Old 03-03-2010, 03:53 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
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I know it can be hard but try to not let it affect you - tell them to shut up and just give them the same in return but worse. The ultimate goal is to make them feel small so they back off.
You could ignore them and I mean pretend they're not there, don't respond to anything they say.
Look strong, as in your character - like you don't care what they say (even if you do, but don't show it).

Try and come up with witty responses which they don't expect, as many people like this don't expect a response, they just expect to throw abuse at the person and for the person to take it - stuff that, give them something back!

I'm sure we could help you come up with witty responses to certain remarks they make.
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Old 03-03-2010, 04:25 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
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If someone started being an ******* towards me where I have to work id tell them to shut the **** or ill break something!

I used to get a lot If grap in high school but when I finally snapped and threw a few punches and threw some bodies to the ground most of that stopped.

I know this us probably bad advice, but I say show some aggression. Bullying is not cool, don't take that ****.
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Old 03-03-2010, 07:22 AM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Get the boss/manager involved.

Bullying in the workplace should not be tolerated. If it's stopping you from wanting to go to work or affecting your performance at work, then you should tell the person in charge about it so that he/she knows what kind of idiots he/she has employed, and don't be ashamed about doing so either. Workplace is not the playground. People need to act accordingly.
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Old 03-03-2010, 07:43 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
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^ditto. Workplace bullying is a serious issue. Talk to your line manager, or the employee relations department if your workplace has one. You can't let them give you **** like that and get away with it.
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Old 03-03-2010, 07:49 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
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I don't think reacting badly to this situation will make it any better for you. It will only make you look even worse than you are. You will be giving them more points to pick on you.

Best thing you can do is, talk to your manager, boss or whoever you are supposed to report to. Be calm and collected. It makes an impression, trust me on that. The way you react to situations like this should be professional not childish.

Btw I feel for you. My work is the main cause of my everyday anxiety too
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Old 03-03-2010, 09:31 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
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Truth is that it's just teasing more then bullying, I can actually have a conversation with these guys I know them or use to know them quiet well but it just feels like I'm their whipping boy so to speak.
I'm not normally this weak I was never this lower down the ladder at work a few months back, but I've been so stressed out that sometimes I let my guard down and these pricks won't feel their day is complete until they've hurt someone.
I was thinking of just cutting them off and not talking to them except in quick responses like yes, no, maybe so.
I honestly can't understand what they have against me, I'm silent and they mention that a lot but what's it to them. What's their problem?
Mostly I think it's just me and my personality, they don't like me because i don't suit them some how.
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Old 03-03-2010, 01:13 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Next time they mention you're quiet just say "well you more than make up for it!"
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Old 03-03-2010, 08:51 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Most times people who tease others do so because they can't relate amongst themselves other ways.

Perhaps if you pay attention, you might notice they might have little in common outside of their nonstop bagging on others.

Easiest way to get close to someone is to hate the same thing...

There's an actual bully at my workplace and that's all he does. You will be hard pressed to try to notice him saying neutral nice/normal things.
He tried to get others in on bullying me, but I assumed a resilient and nonchalant/silly attitude, even stern when I refused to tolerate him crossing the line (by donning a serious look etc.), and then I became unteasable. I suppose I wasn't fun to bully since all it did was expose my odd sense of humor.
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Old 03-03-2010, 09:01 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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I don't know anything about labor laws in the UK. I am guessing if you went to the supervisor, told him you are documenting everything, he might get worried about a law suit and fire the guys?

If you aren't strong with the bullies, then you need to be strong with the boss. Him/her doing a mild disciplining could result in more bullying.
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Old 03-06-2010, 07:12 AM   #11 (permalink)
 
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Thanks guys
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