I would. This would be an unqualified improvement to my circumstances. I'm already living with a schizophrenic with depersonalization who can't care for himself and might murder me in my sleep, so I can live with pretty much anyone. I'm already cleaning his **** up after him. Literally. And I've been living a step away from homelessness for years now. My sister feeds me her table scraps, like a dog.
I'm afraid the only kind of people who would take this offer seriously are people in dire straits like me or people looking to manipulate you,
. Not sure you'd actually want to live with anyone like that. But I don't know what your friend is like.
Obviously, I literally trust Patty with my life. She knows where I keep my loaded defensive guns that are ready for action (which I sincerely hope they will never see).
So one has to be in dire straights to live with a man in a lovely home that I buy all sorts of nice stuff for. What torture it would be to park yourself on fine leather furniture to watch a high-end 55" TV with premium channels & a DVR & a fine sound bar. Yes, how terrible it would be to live in a lovely 2,800 sq ft colonial on a spacious lot with your own bedroom with walk-in closet, brand new carpet and paint. Ceiling fan too. And your own bathroom as well. An endless supply of hot water from my 75 gallon tank, soft & iron free.
How horrid to wash your laundry in a massive washer & dryer that are new, or sit at a fine kitchen table I will soon have. Your skin will never be dry in winter, as I have a damn fine humidifier. New AC to keep the princess cool & comfy in summer, in addition to ceiling fans.
Free utilities would be a real b*tch! And this is an educated and intelligent man who is a wonderful conversationalist.
Yet, convicted felons get letters from women who are into them.
Is my lack of a felony conviction the problem? What is it that women want, that I am failing to provide?
And to make this even more horrid, you will only inherit the house, SUV, and everything in it upon my demise. What the hell more could anyone reasonably ask for?
I even provide her with employment!
If this sounds attractive to any ladies out there, please feel free to PM me. BTW, if you want to learn to shoot, I'll take you to the range and let you practice using my guns after receiving my expert instruction.
I also provide better-than-professional grade investment advice and allow you access to service normally reserved for those with $1M-$5M.
Yet this is not enough. Ugh! You get plenty of parking space too. Was I supposed to throw in an exotic sports car too? Make it rain with $100 bills? What the hell do women want? It's beyond my comprehension where any woman is going to find a deal even remotely as attractive as what I have to offer.