Free Housing -- would you take it? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 57 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 07:02 PM Thread Starter
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Free Housing -- would you take it?

Let me first tell you about this offer.

The housing is a $331,000 2,800 sq ft colonial built in 1991. Absolute privacy on heavily wooded 1.23 acre lot in good neighborhood. You get your own bedroom -- with walk in closet, and right next door is your own personal bath! I will not be using them as I have the master suite.

Utilities are included. You will have to pay for food, unless you eat like a bird such that I can't detect it. I will pay for the cable, WiFi, gas, electricity, salt for softener, snow removal, lawn care, and all maintenance. I will also provide home furnishings. Hope a 55" OLED TV is good enough for you.

BTW, your bedroom comes with a ceiling fan & fresh paint & brand new carpet.

Your skin will even stay soft in winter as I spent a pile of cash on a central humidifier. And you will get to enjoy the best damn water around, having gone thorough my new iron filter, softener, and water heater. Central Air is included (new as of next week). You will have to accept that I, as Lord of the Manor, have exclusive control of temperature & humidity though. Didn't expect everything, did you?

If you move in with me you will then share my address, which will allow you to receive Flagship Service from Vanguard, such that your most modest $1,000 retirement plan will get the same treatment as normally reserved for those with $1M-$5M.

One woman from SAS wanted to move in with me as soon as I got a home. She changed her mind, later wanting to buy a suicide gun from me.

My best friend asked to move in June 6 last year, when I came over to her home immediately after writing an offer on this place. Her stuff has moved in, but she still hasn't.

OK, now how many of you think I'm offing one hell of stunningly good deal?

BTW, I decide what to watch on TV in the living room, though you are free to use my DVR for viewing of your shows at any time you want. I'll even let use use the Lord's whirlpool tub if you ask first.

DEA agents, being on par with Nazi war criminals, should be executed for crimes against humanity. They are guilty of inflicting mass suffering upon legitimate patients.
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post #2 of 57 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 04:56 AM
 
 
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If it required living with someone (other than perhaps a love interest), no. I may be in poverty but at least I have my independence, I prefer my small apartment. Your offer is not tempting at all, and of course becomes very repellent when having to address you as Lord of the Manor.

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post #3 of 57 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 05:18 AM
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I'd be too afraid of getting shot when I knock on the door after forgetting my keys.

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post #4 of 57 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 05:27 AM
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Maybe Patty is afraid of what your expectations of her will be.

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post #5 of 57 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 05:45 AM
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At one point I said I would never live with anyone again. Any situation would depend on my roommate. I'm fairly adaptable but I don't get along with many people mostly due to them not understanding my motivation for anything I do or don't do. I gave up trying to explain myself since no one really seems to care. Like many introverts I get the inaccurate stuck up, lazy, selfish label when I'm usually just confused about what is expected. Most of the disagreements and negative feelings in my marriage turn out to just be misunderstandings that reached the point they can't be ignored but my husband is the only one I've ever really continued to try to explain myself to. With every other person it just stays a misunderstanding until enough contribute to collapse of even more distant, impersonal relationships.

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post #6 of 57 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 04:32 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Paul View Post
If it required living with someone (other than perhaps a love interest), no. I may be in poverty but at least I have my independence, I prefer my small apartment. Your offer is not tempting at all, and of course becomes very repellent when having to address you as Lord of the Manor.
I jokingly use the term "Lord of the Manor." Nobody has ever called me that nor would I want them too. You folks don't seem to get that I have a sense of humor.

They would simply call me Karl.

DEA agents, being on par with Nazi war criminals, should be executed for crimes against humanity. They are guilty of inflicting mass suffering upon legitimate patients.
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post #7 of 57 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 04:34 PM Thread Starter
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Maybe Patty is afraid of what your expectations of her will be.
No, she fears being "kicked out of the castle" (her term) and she can't go back to Andy groveling to be taken back yet again, having already done so three times before. Evidently, this is like baseball, where you're out for good after enough strikes.

She is afraid that she would end up with nowhere to live them, unable to support herself.

My home is notably more grand than the 900 sq foot shack she now resides in. It has lake frontage though to give it value. No doubt somebody would love to buy their place (they rent) and tear it down to build a Mc Mansion on the lake.

I can't provide a lake. I have a forest & train tracks.

DEA agents, being on par with Nazi war criminals, should be executed for crimes against humanity. They are guilty of inflicting mass suffering upon legitimate patients.
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post #8 of 57 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 04:46 PM
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Your lot is 15 times the size of mine. Yet the value of my home is almost 3 times that of yours. I should consider moving to the midwest if I have no fear of any hate crimes or xenophobia.
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post #9 of 57 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 04:49 PM Thread Starter
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I'd be too afraid of getting shot when I knock on the door after forgetting my keys.
You're like a neurotic parrot.

I will explain the "pizza incident" one final time. Under cover of total darkness I hear pounding on my door. Not knocking as Miss Manners would do, but rather pounding as if you're trying to drive a rail road spike. (Please note: there was a lighted door bell they could have used & I suspect Miss Manners would recommend using that means to summon one to their door.)

So someone unexpected is pounding on your door like a psychopath in the darkness and you answer holding a Glock pointed upward -- with no round in the chamber -- and with trigger finger straight forward.

Yeah, I could have shot him if a round jumped into the chamber magically, and the slide racked itself magically and he was on the ceiling like Spiderman.

Perhaps I'm the one who should be afraid. Patty is a convicted drug felon, thus a prohibited person, unable to have a gun. She would have access to the loaded guns I keep around for self-defense. She could shoot me. Or does that not occur to you? And being a partial beneficiary, she has motive to make me dead.

DEA agents, being on par with Nazi war criminals, should be executed for crimes against humanity. They are guilty of inflicting mass suffering upon legitimate patients.
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post #10 of 57 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 04:50 PM
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Living with other people + SA can drive a person's anxiety into hyperdrive which is why so many have probably backed out.

I'm doing it now, and it's rough. As far as 2 SA people in one big house and how that would go, I have no idea.
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post #11 of 57 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 04:54 PM Thread Starter
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Your lot is 15 times the size of mine. Yet the value of my home is almost 3 times that of yours. I should consider moving to the midwest if I have no fear of any hate crimes or xenophobia.
Recently on HGTV I saw a young couple with a $1.2M budget. They bought a 1950s home notably smaller than mine, but it had a must-have ocean view.

I get to watch freight trains with graffiti on them instead. Also lots of "China Shipping" cargo containers.

DEA agents, being on par with Nazi war criminals, should be executed for crimes against humanity. They are guilty of inflicting mass suffering upon legitimate patients.
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post #12 of 57 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 05:04 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by kageri View Post
At one point I said I would never live with anyone again. Any situation would depend on my roommate. I'm fairly adaptable but I don't get along with many people mostly due to them not understanding my motivation for anything I do or don't do. I gave up trying to explain myself since no one really seems to care. Like many introverts I get the inaccurate stuck up, lazy, selfish label when I'm usually just confused about what is expected. Most of the disagreements and negative feelings in my marriage turn out to just be misunderstandings that reached the point they can't be ignored but my husband is the only one I've ever really continued to try to explain myself to. With every other person it just stays a misunderstanding until enough contribute to collapse of even more distant, impersonal relationships.
I hate to use the term roommate. It just strikes me as suggesting a living arrangement where you are stuck together -- like it or not -- in a studio apartment. She still has the privacy or her own bed & bath. I have my master suite & den. We have ample room to not be on top of each other, even when we want alone time.

Roommate also tends to mean a situation where 2 people each unable to afford even a tiny apartment pool their resources such that they can actually rent a place. They're stuck together for financial reasons. This differs from two best friends living together because they enjoy each other's company.

Now I realize that a man & woman living together as best friends is unconventional, but I'm willing to think outside the box. A box which says "Thou Shalt Only Live with Thy Sex Partner."

DEA agents, being on par with Nazi war criminals, should be executed for crimes against humanity. They are guilty of inflicting mass suffering upon legitimate patients.
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post #13 of 57 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 05:34 PM
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I'd be too afraid of getting shot when I knock on the door after forgetting my keys.


Me, too.

Although I would love to leave Europe behind.
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post #14 of 57 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 06:08 PM
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It sounds like you're lonely and wanting company.
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post #15 of 57 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 10:32 PM
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I would drive you bonkers, but I do think it is a great deal and hope you find a compatible room mate.

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post #16 of 57 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 04:32 PM Thread Starter
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Me, too.

Although I would love to leave Europe behind.
A girl scout rang my bell, trying to sell cookies. I politely declined, saying I needed to watch my weight, but wished her the best of luck at other homes.

You're anti-gun fanatics. Patty could shoot me if only should could figure out to flick down the thumb safety on a cocked & locked 1911.

DEA agents, being on par with Nazi war criminals, should be executed for crimes against humanity. They are guilty of inflicting mass suffering upon legitimate patients.
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post #17 of 57 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 04:35 PM Thread Starter
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It sounds like you're lonely and wanting company.
Bingo. Who wouldn't want to live with their best friend? A friend who cooks & cleans.

She already provides maid services for me, working for $12/hr to pay off her $15,000 debt to me.

DEA agents, being on par with Nazi war criminals, should be executed for crimes against humanity. They are guilty of inflicting mass suffering upon legitimate patients.
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post #18 of 57 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 04:55 PM
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This sounds horrible, tbh. Outside of immediate family or a spouse (and even many people would have ample hesitation under those circumstances,) I wouldn't want to live or take from someone giving me things for free. Relationships and friendships require a delicate sort of balance and reciprocity. It NEVER feels good to be the one so far out of balance (free housing, $15k debt.) It takes away a certain sense of pride and takes a naturally equal friendship into something more of a creditor/debtor relationship, even if that wasn't the intention. The only way I could see someone being ok with this arrangement is if it were for a specified amount of time to help them out or if they were a user that likes to take advantage of others. You being the owner/creditor/boss always puts you in a position of power in the relationship that she now has to respect and consciously and subconsciously shape her behavior into something pleasing for fear that at any time this "gift" could be taken away.

All that glitters is not gold. That's why something so appealing on the surface could be turned down on more than 1 occasion.

And yes, I believe in selflessly helping others out, i'd let my best friend and most pple who needed a place to stay live with me, prob for as long as they needed. But most pple, though they may take the initial help, do have a sense of independence (especially in the Western world. Even in other cultures this arrangement would only be made with family or something where the exchange of services was made very clear and felt equal.)
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post #19 of 57 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 05:27 PM
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No. I think your intentions are good, but the power imbalance bothers me. That sounds like the kind of think that could wreck a friendship. What stops you from giving this woman the boot if you two have a fight or she does something you don't like? And there's always the unspoken knowledge hanging over her head that she's living under your roof only because she's in your good graces. Plus I think I'm too independent to rely on someone I'm not related to for housing. I have my own apartment now, so I'm not even planning to live longterm with my own family again if I can help it. It would be one thing living with a roommate that I was on equal footing with, but I wouldn't accept this offer. (Plus there are just personal preferences that I don't like about the situation.)

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post #20 of 57 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 05:50 PM
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Originally Posted by UltraShy View Post
No, she fears being "kicked out of the castle" (her term) and she can't go back to Andy groveling to be taken back yet again, having already done so three times before. Evidently, this is like baseball, where you're out for good after enough strikes.

She is afraid that she would end up with nowhere to live them, unable to support herself.
What makes her think you're going to kick her out?

If I don't reply to you, it's NOTHING PERSONAL. It's my ANXIETY.

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