Feeling disconnected with family - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 09-26-2008, 05:30 PM Thread Starter
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Cool Feeling disconnected with family

The hardest aspect from Social Anxiety hasn't been the lack of friends, or the lack of communication skills, nor is it missing out on fun things to do.

What i have found to be the most depressing, is that i feel like a stranger within my own family, my closest relatives. Up to the point the only thing i feel to share with my mom is the same roof we are still under.

I feel a barrier to talk about my issues because i am afraid to show my emotions, even to my most beloved ones, my protective shell in my mind keeps telling me to keep my composure, don't show your weaknesses, they might think i failed them, it strengthens my belief that they might be better off without me. And thereby most of my relatives are occupied with their own problems, so why bother them....As matter of fact, all the conversations i have with my relatives, on a deeper note, are quite shallow, limited to the daily activities.

As a result i barely even speak to my mom, brother and sisters about my problems and emotions.
I feel the need to pour my heart to somebody, anybody....up until now i found it unlogical to share my problems first with complete strangers, yet fellow sufferers, rather than my family.

Now i have realized that it doesn't necessarily matter to whom you talk about your problems, but more importantly is that you actually talk about it.

This whole situation is like a spiral in which i tumble downwards and can't crawl up to climb back up.

I am afraid that my social anxiety is getting this deep rooted, that i slowly slip away from the people who accept me as i am and don't judge me unlike the rest of the society. I see it happening, but i can't change it.

I've been worrying that my time is a little unclear
I've been worrying that I'm losing the ones I hold dear
I've been worrying that we all live our lives in the confines of fear

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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 09-28-2008, 10:05 AM
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Re: Feeling disconnected with family

We need to show our emotions, let down our guard, be open, be vulnerable, and available to others. We cannot close ourselves to others, because that will only limit our potential to help others and for them to help us. We need others to live a fulfilling life. The most vulnerable person is the most powerful.

It's good that you are able to speak to your family about your problems, albeit barely. Keep doing it. Your belief that they might be better off without you will fade from your mind once you see evidence that you helped them in some way. Use your uniqueness to help people. You are a unique being that sees the world uniquely from others. One more person does make a difference. You can add value to the world.

Visit my LIVE show at blogtv.com/people/dancilley.

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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-24-2010, 05:11 PM
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Man i have the exact same problem which has been bothering me since my early teenage years and it seems to be affecting me socially,my confidence has ever really peaked at all.Although i do seem to have a few friends and get along with everyone.

I think its the fact that i havent felt loved properly by my own parents,as they divorced and i was forced to live with grandparents etc ,therefore yes, i am blaming the way i was raised as the reason .
Anyway i could go on and on about my problems. But i simply dont feel comfortable being myself or talking and expressing emotions to any family member. i have to younger brother and sister and i am noticing my mum isnt showing them the love the need, i really dont agree with parents buying love from their kids,it just doesnt work!I feel closer to my friends rather than my own family,which clearly isnt good.
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-01-2011, 04:14 PM
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I understand how you feel

I understand how all of you feel. I googled "feeling disconnected from family" because I wrote that down on a sheet of paper today. My mother calls me and tells me she loves me, but I can't stay on the phone with her. I feel disconnected from her and my half-brothers and half-sisters. I don't want to, but I feel like I don't even know who they are, or more - they don't know me. The truth is, I don't want them to. I feel alone all the time.
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-01-2011, 05:26 PM
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I feel the same way. I felt closer to them when i was younger but now its different. Today i freaked out on my brother because he's been trying to help me with school for the past couple of weeks. I told him to **** off and that i don't want anyones help. All day i have wanted to apologize and thank him for his help, but I don't even wanna bring up the situation again. He's still helping me though but i feel like he thinks that I don't care.
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-26-2012, 10:03 PM
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I feel the same way in that if I try to convey my opinion to my close family it doesn't feel like they care and that I am constantly wrong no matter what. Also they don't understand or care what they do to me
and if I want some help on certain situation thay I need help with it takes an arm and a leg from me in my belief to have them help me. On the other hand they except me just to jump in right there and then to help them. I also feel that they want me to do things all the time their way no matter if I may have a better way to get the job done faster or easier.
They constantly want me to get a job and I tried for over 2 years and only have had just a few interviews and nothing else.
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