Feel depressed after being with people - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 32 (permalink) Old 06-04-2011, 02:38 PM Thread Starter
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Unhappy Feel depressed after being with people

I've noticed that I feel so depressed at the end of a night out. Or after I return home from being out with people. It could even be a good night out, or just an average time with people. Even if I was kinda ok socially, I still feel depressed after I get back home.
How can I stop this?
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post #2 of 32 (permalink) Old 06-04-2011, 02:48 PM
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The most I can offer is company, not advice, because I get the same way.
After a night out, the only thing I can do once I get home is put on music, hide under my covers, and shut my eyes really tight, trying to forget about everything that happened that night and just let myself fall asleep.
But most of the time I end up dwelling over what "went wrong", though nothing really did.

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post #3 of 32 (permalink) Old 06-04-2011, 05:17 PM
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I feel this way often. Just last night, actually. I'd spent about six hours with other humans, all together, and it always startles me how little I actually say, how they can see anything in me at all. I don't talk much, and I don't really have anything particularly eye-catching or noticeable about myself, so I've been known to just feel like upholstery, or some useless dusty thing they're forced to cart around and tolerate. The little bit I did talk, they seemed to respond to well, but I can't really be sure. I am so disconnected it's unbelievable.

I really do get where you're coming from, OP.

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The vi'lets from her lap, and lillies fall:
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post #4 of 32 (permalink) Old 06-04-2011, 05:31 PM
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If you're already out with your friends, why don't you try spending the night with one of them?
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post #5 of 32 (permalink) Old 06-04-2011, 05:33 PM
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This is so true for me as well. It's almost scary when I see threads like this that are my thoughts and feelings but written by others who go through it as well.

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Originally Posted by QueenEnna View Post
The most I can offer is company, not advice, because I get the same way.
After a night out, the only thing I can do once I get home is put on music, hide under my covers, and shut my eyes really tight, trying to forget about everything that happened that night and just let myself fall asleep.
But most of the time I end up dwelling over what "went wrong", though nothing really did.
Me too. Sometimes I just feel drained afterwards and then analyse.
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post #6 of 32 (permalink) Old 06-04-2011, 05:41 PM
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Yeah, it's the same for me and I agree with what everyone said above. It's the one thing I absolutely hated when I was somewhat social. Going out and coming back feeling...terrible. Like I never want to do that again. I suppose this happens after coming out of your comfort zone.

When I'd feel depressed like that I usually just slept it off and tomorrow was another day.
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post #7 of 32 (permalink) Old 06-04-2011, 06:08 PM
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Same but largely when I'm with other's at the time, not after. Always feel awkward, feel like I'm acting like a freak. Haven't quite worked it out yet. I think it's self esteam.
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post #8 of 32 (permalink) Old 06-04-2011, 06:38 PM
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heh i do the EXACT same thing...even if I didn't humiliate myself too badly, i come home and all I can do is analyze every little thing I said and did and convince myself I was a total freak that night. it gets so bad that I can't sleep that night and usually a night or two afterwards. Which is why I generally just avoid going out with people, even though I'm miserable by myself. heh.
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post #9 of 32 (permalink) Old 06-04-2011, 06:38 PM
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This happens to me all the time as well, having to spend time with people just drains me emotionally and physically...its almost a relief when I get home and can just be by myself at the end of the day

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post #10 of 32 (permalink) Old 06-04-2011, 06:57 PM
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Yes I agree with everyone's else comments. Everyday after work i'm physically and mentally drained from being around other people. Some nights are better than others but there are nights where I cant even fall alseep because all I can worried about is another day with all these people. Its part of the disorder and being introverted.
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post #11 of 32 (permalink) Old 06-04-2011, 07:18 PM
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This happens to me a lot. Sometimes when I am not involved too much in conversation.
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post #12 of 32 (permalink) Old 06-05-2011, 10:22 AM
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For me being with few friends is all I ever wanted, but I deaden myself in all social exchanges to outsmart the inevitable panic that's coming up from behind. This deadening makes me realize I won't be able to "be" with these people I so care about, and quickly gives way to stomach turning depression long before I actually leave the gathering. It rigidifies me and, if my position is sufficiently camouflaged, I will stay glued to it until such time as I believe someone might be onto me. Then I leave, go out into the backyard, sob for a while, come back in and soldier on. After I go home, I give myself over completely to the depression and it normally lasts for weeks. That's partly why I don't call some of my old friends because I'm afraid they will invite me over and I will have to do it all over again. I rarely turn down their invitations even though I am certain of the result. I go just to see their faces and recall better times.

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post #13 of 32 (permalink) Old 06-05-2011, 10:28 AM
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I feel like this always when going out with others. I antisipate the night before going out, hoping I will turn into mr. everything. Then always depressed when I get home, because I was expecting the experience to cure me or something. Even if I acctually have a good time, I end up back in my cave when I get home.
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post #14 of 32 (permalink) Old 06-05-2011, 06:41 PM
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I just joined this forum today. I must say reading these posts makes me feel like I fit in and not completely abnormal. I know exactly what you are saying OP. Even when I have a great night out meeting new people I usually go home feeling depressed. I'm not sure why. The only thing I can think of is that I know it is only a temporary high. I know the next morning I'll wake up feeling my same old socially awkward self. I just can't seem to make the next step in developing friendships with the people I meet.
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post #15 of 32 (permalink) Old 06-05-2011, 06:51 PM
oh the horror!
 
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Same here...
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post #16 of 32 (permalink) Old 06-07-2011, 10:53 PM
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Wow I love reading that others have this, that it's not just me. I relate entirely to what everyone has said.
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post #17 of 32 (permalink) Old 06-08-2011, 12:18 AM
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I have this same exact feeling, lately I have been trying to force the feeling out of me with mixed results.
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post #18 of 32 (permalink) Old 06-08-2011, 01:05 PM
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I get that too sometimes. I def think it has to do with the fact that Im judging myself against the other people, telling myself that Im not like them, that Im less than them, that Im weird blah blah. I convince myself of these things and then afterwards I am depressed about how they all have amazing social lives and Im just a loser who happened to have gone out..
Not fun.
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post #19 of 32 (permalink) Old 06-08-2011, 11:09 PM
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i sometimes feel the same for 2 reasons: if i had a good time it makes me depressed to go home to nothing, meaning to no education or employment. i have nothing else to keep me busy for the week and also i have a depressing home life and the other is sometimes i would come home feeling inadequate compared to my peers.
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post #20 of 32 (permalink) Old 06-12-2011, 10:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fading View Post
I've noticed that I feel so depressed at the end of a night out. Or after I return home from being out with people. It could even be a good night out, or just an average time with people. Even if I was kinda ok socially, I still feel depressed after I get back home.
How can I stop this?
Your thread prompted me to register here because you've just described what I'm like.

When I've been out with friends I nearly always feel down when I get home. It doesn't matter if it's been a night out or just round at someone's place chatting.

I put it down to having had a lack of friends until I met these guys. I now feel so involved and included, which has never happened to me before. So when I go home, I remember what it was like to have no-one which felt OK at the time but when compared to now, is horrible.

I've also got another theory about feeling down after nights out specifically, aside from the usual stuff about alcohol being a depressant. I'm a natural worrier and I always worry that every night out is going to be our last until a big event comes along (birthdays etc.) because I'm convinced that my friends aren't going to be up for going out again. And even when we do have something arranged, I always expect a text or phone call to say it's not happening anymore.

So that's kind of two explanations I have for feeling down: 1. knowing what it's like to be without friends and 2. worrying that the time you've just had with them is the last for a while.
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