Emotional intimacy, the basic human need - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 10-04-2013, 05:35 AM Thread Starter
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Emotional intimacy, the basic human need

After food, shelter, and water, I think emotional intimacy must be the next basic need. We all want it, we all need it, we are hardwired to seek and experience it.

Every day at university seems to get lonelier, I cant connect with anyone, even though I am surrounded by thousands. Everyone I talk to seems to be a mere acquaintance, we have the small talk then part ways, they go back to their friends and I go back to my small bubble. Really frustrating. I don't experience this back home because I have a few friends and a great family. I just want to CONNECT with people
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 10-04-2013, 05:39 AM
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not for me , I prefer sex
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 10-31-2013, 10:06 PM
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It would be nice to have sex with someone who wants to stick around with me, and get to do it over and over.
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 10-31-2013, 10:39 PM
intimacy without pain
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I'm so sorry, OP. I really feel you. I've spent the better part of my life feeling that way. I've never been able to tell if other people are just better at connecting on a deeper level than I am or if they're just more satisfied with superficial relationships. In any case, it leaves people like us feeling pretty empty.

Although it's rare you find that kind of emotional intimacy, when it's there, it's certainly real - I'd imagine with standards like yours. You know it when you feel it. Not everyone values soul-deep connections, and while that makes the pickings slim for you, it's worth your while in the end.
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 10-31-2013, 10:41 PM
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sex and emotional intimacy are both basic needs. You might think its just sex but once you have it you will be wanting something more. Unless you have killed off the part of your brain that desires emotional intimacy then that might be a strange plus.
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 10-31-2013, 10:42 PM
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I know the exact same feeling. I can only engage in small talk but nobody knows me at all enough to say I'm a friend. Sad thing is even when I go back home I have no friends there either. I've consistently been this way.
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