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Old 07-20-2007, 03:43 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default Dry Personality? WTF do they mean by that exactly?

Well I finally got an explanation out of the last guy I dated, as to why he didn't want to be with me anymore...
he said I had a "dry personality"--has anyone ever told any of you that before? what exactly do they even mean by dry personality anyway?
and he said he just didn't think we were compatible and that he wasn't himself around me(i don't see why not--i told him he shouldn't have hidden anything from me & that he shouldn't have to pretend to be someone he's not. why do people always think they have to not be theirself around me?! just because i'm a quiet type person doesn't mean I'm gonna go crazy and run away and cry if they're a wild person. and said we had different lifestyles & he just didn't feel anything between us after being around me awhile.
at least now i know why though.

and of course now he has a new girlfriend already. i knew that would happen... guys who say they "don't want a girlfriend right now" -- if they're in a relationship with you-- are always full of ****. he did apologize for lying but it still pisses me off that he didn't tell me sooner!
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Old 07-20-2007, 03:56 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Default re: Dry Personality? WTF do they mean by that exactly?

Thanks but there's no one for me. Apparently I'm the only person on the planet with a "dry personality" and guys would rather cut their own balls off and eat them, than be near me.

I didn't think I seemed THAT shy or serious around him... I thought we had fun. Guess it was just me though.
And I guess all that BS about him "never feeling more comfortable around someone before" was all a lie too. I hate people. More & more every day I wish I didn't even ****ing exist.
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Old 07-20-2007, 04:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Default re: Dry Personality? WTF do they mean by that exactly?

I just looked up "dry personality" and apparently it's someone who doesn't know how to have fun/socialize, is boring, and doesn't smile or laugh much, doesn't laugh at others jokes, etc. WTF? I smile & laughed plenty while I was with him. He's full of ****. The girl he's with now should cut his ****ing balls off.
Yeah I'm not good with socializing and I guess the fun/boring thing depends on the person-- everyone's idea of fun and/or boring is different I guess... but I don't think the rest of that stuff describes me. I definitely smiled & laughed around him and laughed at his jokes and stuff. Geez.
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Old 07-20-2007, 04:34 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Default re: Dry Personality? WTF do they mean by that exactly?

I guess it also means sarcastic...and that DOES sound like me. But still...I'm not always sarcastic. I'm pretty sarcastic towards him NOW...but not so much before.
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Old 07-20-2007, 05:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Default re: Dry Personality? WTF do they mean by that exactly?

Don't confuse his thinking that you have a "dry personality" w/your actually having one. And if you do, who cares? I'm sure you're not the only one w/one. Why should you be w/someone who doesn't like you for you?

Also, based on personal experience (only one granted), exs change their stories in hindsight. Closure doesn't always "close" things. I guess it's only human to try to rewrite history and justify why things somehow changed but as long as you have a handle on what really happened, what you guys once felt, that's all that matters.

Stay strong...you seem like a nice girl. I don't get it.
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Old 07-20-2007, 06:05 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Default re: Dry Personality? WTF do they mean by that exactly?

Easy for you all to say...none of you have said anything about anybody telling you that you have a "dry personality"
Yeah, his story did change because he lied to me before... but I assume that this is the truth--or what he thinks to be the truth anyway. Probably the closest I'm gonna get to the truth from him.
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Old 07-20-2007, 06:45 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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i guess he meant like too simple? tasteless? i think thats how some of us appear to the world cause we are afraid of showing ourselves, we are always worried about what others may think of us instead of just being ourselves. SA = hell
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Old 07-20-2007, 07:38 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Default re: Dry Personality? WTF do they mean by that exactly?

but he said he had a hard time being himself in front of me...and i think i was myself around him. nothing makes any sense to me anymore.
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Old 07-20-2007, 07:53 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: re: Dry Personality? WTF do they mean by that exactly?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Miss Scare-All
and guys would rather cut their own balls off and eat them, than be near me.
As a guy, let me assure you, no guy would ever want to do something like that. Ever.

As for having a "dry personality," I know for a fact that I have one. I just don't have any friends to tell me that I have one. lol And yep, it's because of the SA. Too afraid to show my true self. More reason for us all to beat this crap, right?
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Old 07-20-2007, 08:00 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: re: Dry Personality? WTF do they mean by that exactly?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dipper
Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Miss Scare-All
and guys would rather cut their own balls off and eat them, than be near me.
As a guy, let me assure you, no guy would ever want to do something like that. Ever.

As for having a "dry personality," I know for a fact that I have one. I just don't have any friends to tell me that I have one. lol And yep, it's because of the SA. Too afraid to show my true self. More reason for us all to beat this crap, right?
How bout we just beat the crap out of the narrow-minded people who don't, will never, & don't want to understand us?
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Old 07-20-2007, 08:10 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: re: Dry Personality? WTF do they mean by that exactly?

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Originally Posted by Little Miss Scare-All
How bout we just beat the crap out of the narrow-minded people who don't, will never, & don't want to understand us?
That works, too. But I think we'd be fighting for a very, very, very, very...very long time. Too many of them foo's.
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Old 07-20-2007, 08:15 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Default re: Dry Personality? WTF do they mean by that exactly?

Yeah. 99.9% of all the losers in the world would be beat up.
But it would be worth it.
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Old 07-20-2007, 08:29 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Default re: Dry Personality? WTF do they mean by that exactly?

There are lots of different personality types, yours must not be the one he is looking for. That does not mean that there is necessarily anything wrong with you. I realise you seem to have had a string of bad relationships but that still doesn't mean that there must be a problem with you - it could just be that you're ending up with guys who you simply aren't compatible with. Or maybe they're all just asshats Maybe you just need to start looking elsewhere to find decent guys? I can't really say since i don't know the specifics of your situation.

Even if there is something that's really preventing you from connecting with any of these guys, it doesn't mean that it's permanent. People change, so don't give up.

How severe is your social anxiety? If it's anything other than very slight then maybe that's something that needs to be worked on first.

And just because someone says something doesn't mean it's true. Most people don't have a clue what they're talking about. Including me, probably >_< but oh well.
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Old 07-20-2007, 09:14 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: re: Dry Personality? WTF do they mean by that exactly?

Well, you seem to have friends and get dates, so you must have some remnants of a personality, otherwise they would never talk to you. Shyness just makes people afraid to show themselves fully, so maybe it just takes a little longer for yours to come out. I wouldn't take the guy too seriously.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Miss Scare-All
Easy for you all to say...none of you have said anything about anybody telling you that you have a "dry personality"
I've had people tell me that I have no personality at all... those exact words. Some have elaborated, saying that I never smile, laugh, or get their jokes, I'm boring, and I need to "loosen up." The truth is, 1) I smile when there's reason, 2) I laugh at amusing things, 3) their jokes are never any of these amusing things, because they aren't funny, and 4) they can all suck it.
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Old 07-20-2007, 09:36 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Default re: Dry Personality? WTF do they mean by that exactly?

Shauna - see what you can learn from this. This experience will never go away, but try to make something out of it. I'm not blaming anyone here, but I don't want you to beat yourself (or him) over this. It's over, it's in the past and you have a wonderful life ahead of you.

I wish you were out here in Southern Cal. You seem like a great girl.
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Old 07-20-2007, 10:26 PM   #16 (permalink)
 
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Like a dry wine, harsh to drink. Less of the sweet stuff. Good description of myself....I'm a bit harsh, its not for everyone...acquired taste eh?
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Old 07-20-2007, 11:47 PM   #17 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: Dry Personality? WTF do they mean by that exactly?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Miss Scare-All
and he said he just didn't think we were compatible and that he wasn't himself around me
That's funny--my ex told me the exact same thing. Oh well, c'est la vie.

I hate to say this, Little Miss: Negative people are no fun to be around. They bring you down/drain your energy. Even when they're having fun and joking, the underlying negativity is still present. Maybe this is why some of these fellas don't stick around. I mean, even when we try to cheer you up or compliment on you on anything other than your looks you kind of shoot US down--and that makes us sad
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Old 07-21-2007, 07:42 AM   #18 (permalink)
 
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Default re: Dry Personality? WTF do they mean by that exactly?

A friend of mind is an older guy and he used to hang out with Nicholas Cage back in the day and he said even though Nicholas was the big movie star, people still preferred to hang around my friend because he was fun to be around. He said Nicholas was a complete bore and it was like talking to a rock. That was my interpretation of a dry personality.

So anyway...you just weren't his type. It happens to everyone.
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Old 07-21-2007, 10:38 AM   #19 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: re: Dry Personality? WTF do they mean by that exactly?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Meee
There are lots of different personality types, yours must not be the one he is looking for. That does not mean that there is necessarily anything wrong with you. I realise you seem to have had a string of bad relationships but that still doesn't mean that there must be a problem with you - it could just be that you're ending up with guys who you simply aren't compatible with. Or maybe they're all just @$$# Maybe you just need to start looking elsewhere to find decent guys? I can't really say since i don't know the specifics of your situation.

Even if there is something that's really preventing you from connecting with any of these guys, it doesn't mean that it's permanent. People change, so don't give up.

How severe is your social anxiety? If it's anything other than very slight then maybe that's something that needs to be worked on first.

And just because someone says something doesn't mean it's true. Most people don't have a clue what they're talking about. Including me, probably >_< but oh well.
There must be a problem with me...but I got to thinking...most of the guys I've had bad luck with are the type of guy that EVERYONE(except me now! haha) likes...the one who's always the center of attention, "friendly"--or at least fake-friendly...I see the fakeness in them now... but anyway, the type that can go up to anybody and say hi or start a conversation with any random person...And I'm always in the background, just standing there when they start these conversations with random people. They know EVERYONE when they go out somewhere...they never see a stranger. Most people they literally do know their names & know them personally...but if not they can still talk to them like they've known 'em forever. KC, Michael, Lance, Adam, & Dave were all this way...and none of them are ever heard from anymore except Adam(who doesn't talk to me much & will fade away completely eventually) & Dave still talks but he always has to be a smartass and say something about me not talking or something(this is the one who has pretty much been begging me to take him back but I don't think its a good idea--one reason being that he is this outgoing type of person and another being that if it didn't work the first time why would it work a second time? I dont believe in 2nd chances anymore, not after what dumbass Lance done to me.)... none of them stuck around long except Lance but he was nothing but a USER and was just faking it the entire time. In the end I saw who he really was...and he started basically making fun of me because of the way I am. And he hurt me twice, something no one else has ever done. Seems like all these *******s can do is make fun of me, once they see they can't make me be who THEY WANT ME to be. And it's like my best friend said...if they really liked me, they shouldn't wanna change me.
I got to thinking about the guys I dated who weren't like this...Joe(who was also a user though--him & Lance were similar except Joe was more introverted & NEVER made a rude comment about my not talking--but he was an ******* in other ways. He probably would have stuck around forever though, if I'd let him continue to use me), Joey, Pete...they were more introverted/less social, like me. And I still talk to 2 of them, even though I'm no longer dating them...I kinda think of Pete as like my older brother now, or something... we still hang out alot--well not alot...but more than any of my other exes. he still comes up here & we watch horror movies and stuff, and he's going to the horror convention with me next month. so from now on I need to look for more introverted type people like them. I'm also pretty sure that Joey or Pete would go out with me again if I asked them to. They've both hinted about it...but I don't want to date them. It didn't work the first time, so it wouldn't work the 2nd time I'm pretty sure...I already said how I feel about 2nd chances. But they're both pretty good friends now.
I need to stay FAR AWAY from outgoing people that are liked by everyone, except maybe as friends but I don't even know if I wanna be FRIENDS with jackasses like that. Those type of people are NEVER going to like or accept me. They're narrow-minded pricks who only like other outgoing talkative people.
I was talking to a guy online last night who lives in Massachusetts I met through some dating site & he sounded alot like me... first thing I asked him was if he was outgoing or introverted and he said introverted. I was gonna stop talking to him right then & there if he'd said outgoing. Too bad he lives 2 billion miles away, like all the other decent people out there.
My social anxiety isn't AS severe as it used to be but it's still there... plus when I've been around some of those guys, I smoked pot and/or drank so that pretty much took away most of my anxiety around them & their friends...I was even talkative towards them when I smoked/drank some of the time...but that's still not good enough for them. I guess they figure if I have to have something like that to make myself talkative then I must not be worth it.
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Old 07-21-2007, 11:04 AM   #20 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: re: Dry Personality? WTF do they mean by that exactly?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Drella
Well, you seem to have friends and get dates, so you must have some remnants of a personality, otherwise they would never talk to you. Shyness just makes people afraid to show themselves fully, so maybe it just takes a little longer for yours to come out. I wouldn't take the guy too seriously.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Miss Scare-All
Easy for you all to say...none of you have said anything about anybody telling you that you have a "dry personality"
I've had people tell me that I have no personality at all... those exact words. Some have elaborated, saying that I never smile, laugh, or get their jokes, I'm boring, and I need to "loosen up." The truth is, 1) I smile when there's reason, 2) I laugh at amusing things, 3) their jokes are never any of these amusing things, because they aren't funny, and 4) they can all suck it.
I'd been told I was boring before, by Lance...well he was too much of a ***** to say it(or anything else) to my face, but I heard from someone else that he said I was boring. Then I heard it again the other day--that someone else had heard he dumped me because I didn't talk/I was boring/etc. etc...
& You seem to have a good personality from what I can tell. If you laugh & smile then obviously you do have a personality...I guess those people are just too conceited & think you should smile/laugh at everything they say. outgoing/non-SA people suck. And they will NEVER understand us, they don't even want to try to understand. I wish outgoing people didn't even exist...the world would be a nicer place without *******s like that.















Quote:
Originally Posted by Airick10
Shauna - see what you can learn from this. This experience will never go away, but try to make something out of it. I'm not blaming anyone here, but I don't want you to beat yourself (or him) over this. It's over, it's in the past and you have a wonderful life ahead of you.

I wish you were out here in Southern Cal. You seem like a great girl.
Wish I was in Southern California too...that's my dream-place. Too bad you have to be a damn millionaire to live there & not go completely broke.
And I would like to beat him over this...these people KNOW I'm not outgoing, before they meet me...and they still choose to try it anyway. It makes no sense at all. And I don't have a wonderful life ahead of me...life sucks, has always sucked and will always suck.











Quote:
Originally Posted by NightinGale
Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Miss Scare-All
and he said he just didn't think we were compatible and that he wasn't himself around me
That's funny--my ex told me the exact same thing. Oh well, c'est la vie.

I hate to say this, Little Miss: Negative people are no fun to be around. They bring you down/drain your energy. Even when they're having fun and joking, the underlying negativity is still present. Maybe this is why some of these fellas don't stick around. I mean, even when we try to cheer you up or compliment on you on anything other than your looks you kind of shoot US down--and that makes us sad
Negative people ARE fun to be around. You just have to learn to appreciate them. My favorite people are negative people. I love pessimists. My little cousin(age 14) who stayed here the past couple of days is so much like me, it's funny... he's always saying "that sucks", "this person is a moron", etc... I love it. I guess that's why he's my favorite cousin. haha. so he's negative & he doesn't bring me down or drain my energy at all...I actually think he's a funny kid/fun to be around. Optimists are the ones who bring me down/drain my energy--and make me wanna punch them right in the face.













Quote:
Originally Posted by Strange Religion
A friend of mind is an older guy and he used to hang out with Nicholas Cage back in the day and he said even though Nicholas was the big movie star, people still preferred to hang around my friend because he was fun to be around. He said Nicholas was a complete bore and it was like talking to a rock. That was my interpretation of a dry personality.

So anyway...you just weren't his type. It happens to everyone.
I'd rather be around Nicholas. I love celebrities--and always find it easier to talk to them & never find them boring. Unless he was a complete ******* of course. But I guess I'm 'boring' so I like 'boring' people.
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