Originally Posted by Meee
There are lots of different personality types, yours must not be the one he is looking for. That does not mean that there is necessarily anything wrong with you. I realise you seem to have had a string of bad relationships but that still doesn't mean that there must be a problem with you - it could just be that you're ending up with guys who you simply aren't compatible with. Or maybe they're all just @$$#
Maybe you just need to start looking elsewhere to find decent guys? I can't really say since i don't know the specifics of your situation.
Even if there is something that's really preventing you from connecting with any of these guys, it doesn't mean that it's permanent. People change, so don't give up.
How severe is your social anxiety? If it's anything other than very slight then maybe that's something that needs to be worked on first.
And just because someone says something doesn't mean it's true. Most people don't have a clue what they're talking about. Including me, probably >_< but oh well.
There must be a problem with me...but I got to thinking...most of the guys I've had bad luck with are the type of guy that EVERYONE(except me now! haha) likes...the one who's always the center of attention, "friendly"--or at least fake-friendly...I see the fakeness in them now... but anyway, the type that can go up to anybody and say hi or start a conversation with any random person...And I'm always in the background, just standing there when they start these conversations with random people. They know EVERYONE when they go out somewhere...they never see a stranger. Most people they literally do know their names & know them personally...but if not they can still talk to them like they've known 'em forever. KC, Michael, Lance, Adam, & Dave were all this way...and none of them are ever heard from anymore except Adam(who doesn't talk to me much & will fade away completely eventually) & Dave still talks but he always has to be a smartass and say something about me not talking or something(this is the one who has pretty much been begging me to take him back but I don't think its a good idea--one reason being that he is this outgoing type of person and another being that if it didn't work the first time why would it work a second time? I dont believe in 2nd chances anymore, not after what dumbass Lance done to me.)... none of them stuck around long except Lance but he was nothing but a USER and was just faking it the entire time. In the end I saw who he really was...and he started basically making fun of me because of the way I am. And he hurt me twice, something no one else has ever done. Seems like all these *******s can do is make fun of me, once they see they can't make me be who THEY WANT ME to be. And it's like my best friend said...if they really liked me, they shouldn't wanna change me.
I got to thinking about the guys I dated who weren't like this...Joe(who was also a user though--him & Lance were similar except Joe was more introverted & NEVER made a rude comment about my not talking--but he was an ******* in other ways. He probably would have stuck around forever though, if I'd let him continue to use me), Joey, Pete...they were more introverted/less social, like me. And I still talk to 2 of them, even though I'm no longer dating them...I kinda think of Pete as like my older brother now, or something... we still hang out alot--well not alot...but more than any of my other exes. he still comes up here & we watch horror movies and stuff, and he's going to the horror convention with me next month. so from now on I need to look for more introverted type people like them. I'm also pretty sure that Joey or Pete would go out with me again if I asked them to. They've both hinted about it...but I don't want to date them. It didn't work the first time, so it wouldn't work the 2nd time I'm pretty sure...I already said how I feel about 2nd chances. But they're both pretty good friends now.
I need to stay FAR AWAY from outgoing people that are liked by everyone, except maybe as friends but I don't even know if I wanna be FRIENDS with jackasses like that. Those type of people are NEVER going to like or accept me. They're narrow-minded pricks who only like other outgoing talkative people.
I was talking to a guy online last night who lives in Massachusetts I met through some dating site & he sounded alot like me... first thing I asked him was if he was outgoing or introverted and he said introverted. I was gonna stop talking to him right then & there if he'd said outgoing. Too bad he lives 2 billion miles away, like all the other decent people out there.
My social anxiety isn't AS severe as it used to be but it's still there... plus when I've been around some of those guys, I smoked pot and/or drank so that pretty much took away most of my anxiety around them & their friends...I was even talkative towards them when I smoked/drank some of the time...but that's still not good enough for them. I guess they figure if I have to have something like that to make myself talkative then I must not be worth it.