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Old 06-07-2010, 10:37 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default Don't know what to do with my life

I always feel like I should be doing something, but there's nothing really that I'd like to do. I don't really enjoy doing much of anything anymore. Everything I do makes me feel restless. Does anyone else feel that way? I don't want to do nothing, but doing something seems equally as bad. So I spend most of my time alone in my room. I hate it, but I don't know what else to do. I think it's really bothering my roommate too because she has a life and things to do and doesn't understand why I'm hiding in my room all the time. I don't want to hide in my room....I just don't know how to deal with people or life anymore.....nothing makes me happy or maybe happy is too much to expect. I'd just like to be o.k. but nothing makes me feel o.k. I keep thinking about a quote from the movie 'Heathers' that goes "Now that you're dead, what are you gonna do with your life?" Because in one sense it kind of feels like I'm dead emotionally, but my physical body is still alive so I have to figure out something to do with my life as long as I'm physically still alive. Does that make any sense?
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Old 06-07-2010, 11:42 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
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I think you make sense. It sounds like you haven't always felt this way, that something has changed perhaps. Have you gone the counseling route, whether career, interest, psychological, etc? Bouncing ideas off others may seem fruitless much of the time, but you never know when a pearl of wisdom could turn up. Yes, it's a challenge.

Lately I can relate to some of what you mentioned, although I do know what I'd like to be doing, just got to do it more effectively than I have been or risk chronic "deadness"...
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Old 06-07-2010, 12:06 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Yeah, Ive got that feeling too. I don't have any real or productive hobbies, i don't play instruments or have any real skills. I only participate in social events very, very rarely, and other than that, i am mostly sitting in my room, pretty much doing nothing at all...

I still live with my parents, but they too don't fully understand my situation. They don't know how hard it is for me to leave the house, or get a job. Ive also been having a lot of fights with them lately, so yeah,,,

Also, I don't know what to do with my life concerning jobs and making a living for myself. I am studying architecture at the moment, but I really don't think its an education, or job for that matter, that is suited for me. This isn't really SAD-related, but it has still been causing a lot of stress. I could just quit any given day, but even so: I haven't got a clue what to do otherwise...
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Old 06-07-2010, 12:15 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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^ ya i know how you feel.

I would love to start doing something productive for ME, screw everyone else who keeps telling me i should be doing X,Y and Z; apart from work and the college thing i did which didnt do much for my confidence anyway. I'm gonna save up loads of money and decide what i wanna do.

But i need to move out of this house asap - parents are constantly on my case about my introversion, they don't understand me and are constantly arguing and telling me i'm an 'embarrassment', i don't know how i'm 'embarrassing' but one thing's for sure, i aint sticking around to be made more depressed by their hurtful comments.

Anyhu, once i move to the city i'm gonna start joining stuff to keep me occupied and that will improve my mentality. I'm a person that gets extremely depressed when i have nothing to do.
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Old 06-07-2010, 12:22 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by Hello22 View Post
^ ya i know how you feel.
But i need to move out of this house asap - parents are constantly on my case about my introversion, they don't understand me and are constantly arguing and telling me i'm an 'embarrassment', i don't know how i'm 'embarrassing' but one thing's for sure, i aint sticking around to be made more depressed by their hurtful comments.
I share your pain
I often feel like I'm an embarrassment to them, and sometimes they even tell me so... Life would be so much brighter if i had a house/apartment/shack/whatsoever of my own, but considering the state of my social anxiety at the moment, that would practically mean committing social suicide. All we need is a bit of proper guidance and support, but that often seems hard to come by
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Old 06-07-2010, 01:20 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Yeah, I can relate to this. I just turned 26 and am still in college. I have one more class until I am done with my AA degree, but I have no freaking idea what I am going to get my BA in. I thought sociology because I feel disconnectedfrom society and would do a good job at analyzing how messed up we humans are. I have no interest or desire for any type of career so that is my main issue.

I work an okay job, but I cannot imagine working there for the rest of my life. As far as my personal life, I really don't have one. Besides classes, all I do is play video games and read. I sometimes date, but I can't manage to find anyone I can really relate to so I am to the point where I am thinking of giving up on that for a while. I am not depressed or anything, I just kind of live my life day by day and don't really accomplish much.

My main goals are to learn as much as I possibly can before I die, graduate college, and save a lot of money. Beyond that, I have no real motivation or goals in life. The funny thing is I would really like to date someone seriously, but when you don't have any friends, girls find that to be weird and a red flag for some serious problems. I don't feel like I do have problems like that, but extroverts view you as insane when ou are indifferent to human interaction. I experienced a lot of flack from girls in the past because of my introversion. What I need to do is meet a fellow friendless hermit like me to date. That way I won't be completely alone and I can have someone to share my time with that won't judge me.

Also I'd like to meet a girl that reads and actually has hobbies beyond getting drunk, going clubbing, and shopping. That would be nice. I am not the smartest guy and even I feel like Einstein compard to a lot of the people from my generation.
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Old 06-07-2010, 02:45 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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I truly relate to you. *Hugs.* I am at a point in my life where I feel I should be considering which direction to take next. I am doing voluntary work. I have never known what I want to do. I used to think I would love to do something creative and that the last thing on earth I would do would be to work in an office. I couldn't bear the thought of being constricted. And yet last year I studied business administration skills at college. I did it because I thought it would lend me structure. The idea of someone telling me what to do and having a framework on how to achieve it seemed appealing. But it felt soulless. I struggle with OCD and it has destroyed my creativity and spontenaity. I feel like what I produce is 'wrong' and the feeling is so uncomfortable that I usually destroy what I produce because living with nothing is easier than having something to criticise. And yet destroying what I produce also breaks my heart. I find people interesting and like to help them and yet I'm scared of them and hide from them. It's all so contradictory. I just don't know what I want. Sometimes I curl into a little ball on the floor because it feels safe and contained. I listen to music and do crossword puzzles to focus my mind on only that. I'm so frightened that life is passing me by. I just want to be free. I feel so scared all the time.
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Old 06-07-2010, 02:57 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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I'm just barely beginning to recover from that feeling. For a long time, I felt like I just went to work and came home. Boring job, no life, no prospects, not interested in doing anything, bored bored bored. Now, I'm finding that I have interests again (ah to feel human again) and would like to pursue them, but I'm worried about funds. It's hard not to feel trapped.
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Old 06-07-2010, 07:03 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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To have interests and passions has become harder and harder for me; everything feels meaningless. Part of me thinks it's just the depression talking, but the other part of me knows that most people find meaning in their relationships with others, something I don't really have beyond the surface.
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Old 06-07-2010, 07:33 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by serendipitydodo View Post
I find people interesting and like to help them and yet I'm scared of them and hide from them. It's all so contradictory. I just don't know what I want. Sometimes I curl into a little ball on the floor because it feels safe and contained. I listen to music and do crossword puzzles to focus my mind on only that. I'm so frightened that life is passing me by. I just want to be free. I feel so scared all the time.

I know what you mean. Even though I'm scared of people I would like to be able to help them more and do things like volunteer, but I feel like I just don't have the energy. I do crossword puzzles too, just cause it keeps my mind busy so I don't have to think about other things like my anxiety, but lately even that makes me feel uncomfortable. It just makes me feel like I'm wasting my life instead of doing something worthwhile but I don't know how I'm supposed to do anything worthwhile as long as this anxiety has a hold of me.
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Old 06-10-2010, 01:15 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by centrigal06 View Post
I always feel like I should be doing something, but there's nothing really that I'd like to do. I don't really enjoy doing much of anything anymore. Everything I do makes me feel restless. Does anyone else feel that way? I don't want to do nothing, but doing something seems equally as bad. So I spend most of my time alone in my room. I hate it, but I don't know what else to do. I think it's really bothering my roommate too because she has a life and things to do and doesn't understand why I'm hiding in my room all the time. I don't want to hide in my room....I just don't know how to deal with people or life anymore.....nothing makes me happy or maybe happy is too much to expect. I'd just like to be o.k. but nothing makes me feel o.k. I keep thinking about a quote from the movie 'Heathers' that goes "Now that you're dead, what are you gonna do with your life?" Because in one sense it kind of feels like I'm dead emotionally, but my physical body is still alive so I have to figure out something to do with my life as long as I'm physically still alive. Does that make any sense?
This makes me cry a bit, because you are expressing so much of what I have felt a lot of in my life. I sit and wonder all of the time when will I ever come alive? I truly wonder will I ever be able to fully just "live" life and not have to feel so dead to my emotions and to the world?

I feel like I can barely make it through a day, every situation that I encounter that evolves into some type of social aspect is so emotionally draining and physically demanding that I literally just feel like what is the use?

I know that I need to get out of my parent's house very soon as I know I am a financial burden upon them as well as many other burdens. I took my father's spare room over and he thinks there is something wrong because practically since I graduated from high school; I have rarely ever left it.

My main point though I wanted to say is that what you say makes so much sense to me.
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Old 06-10-2010, 01:52 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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I feel the same way all the time. It's a constant push and pull between two sides. Well, everyone's going off to get jobs, get married, and build the white picket fence so they can live the American Dream(TM). On the other hand, I don't really care about manicured lawns or the newest model of BMW. And then it's back to the old nagging voice saying "You're going to regret pissing your life away."

The problem is that so much of "Real Life" is pedantic bull****. Minimizing that aspect of work is my goal as well as coming to terms with not feeling bad about "productivity" and lacking the Protestant work ethic. I compulsively read, write, and think. I could probably be happy as long as I can do that the rest of my life and hang out with friends, hear some good music, play a bit of poker or go skiing. I don't need all that much. I try to live by what two of my heroes have so pithily said:

“The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” -Bertrand Russell

"I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different." -Kurt Vonnegut
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Old 06-10-2010, 02:26 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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I am in a hopeless state. I am 35 and unemployable and have no friends because i have no job. I live alone in a 1100 square foot 2bed/2bath apartment and drive a 10 years old car. Since I have not had a steady job in over a year I cannot get an interview and except for family I talk to no one. It seems like I am the only one going thru this. People do t understand and I am just called a freak and weird by others because of no job and the 10 year old car
After reading the comments on this board I am convinced my life is hopeless because I am too old and have too much baggage to turn anything around
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Old 06-10-2010, 02:58 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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I am in a hopeless state. I am 35 and unemployable and have no friends because i have no job. I live alone in a 1100 square foot 2bed/2bath apartment and drive a 10 years old car. Since I have not had a steady job in over a year I cannot get an interview and except for family I talk to no one. It seems like I am the only one going thru this. People do t understand and I am just called a freak and weird by others because of no job and the 10 year old car
After reading the comments on this board I am convinced my life is hopeless because I am too old and have too much baggage to turn anything around
Everyone has different problems, but you are not alone. I've read many posts by people who live like you. I'm not too far off either.
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Old 06-10-2010, 04:17 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by Belshazzar View Post
I feel the same way all the time. It's a constant push and pull between two sides. Well, everyone's going off to get jobs, get married, and build the white picket fence so they can live the American Dream(TM). On the other hand, I don't really care about manicured lawns or the newest model of BMW. And then it's back to the old nagging voice saying "You're going to regret pissing your life away."

The problem is that so much of "Real Life" is pedantic bull****. Minimizing that aspect of work is my goal as well as coming to terms with not feeling bad about "productivity" and lacking the Protestant work ethic. I compulsively read, write, and think. I could probably be happy as long as I can do that the rest of my life and hang out with friends, hear some good music, play a bit of poker or go skiing. I don't need all that much. I try to live by what two of my heroes have so pithily said:

“The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” -Bertrand Russell

"I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different." -Kurt Vonnegut
Good post and great quotes.
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Old 06-11-2010, 05:56 AM   #16 (permalink)
 
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I can TOTALLY relate. I have pretty much zero hobbies or interests, and spend 95% of my time in my room doing not much of anything, partly because of anxiety and partly because of apathy.
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Old 10-10-2010, 09:33 AM   #17 (permalink)
 
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I have also experienced the feelings you are feeling. I dislike being around other people, I like to watch what others are doing from a distance and thinking how I can change my personality to fit in.
For me, this has made be feel mostly depressed and sometimes angry/ hateful.
I know it's a cliche but I truelly feel when I am thinking for myself, asking questions like "what do I want/like to do" and answering them as truthfully as possible, without judgement from anyone else. I am happiest when I am not resisting against what other people think of me, but when I am thinking to myself and no-one else. I am writing this for myself, in hope that it will help to clarify my thoughts and feelings, I believe this is as honest as my descriptive skills will alow me to be. I also accept that I will never be constantly happy for ever, however I would rather have huge ups and downs than be numb for the rest of my life and I can do this by doing what I want to do.

I do not believe there is a solution to a problem, this is just what helps me be me.
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Old 10-10-2010, 11:04 AM   #18 (permalink)
 
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Exactly how I feel. I'm not happy and dont even know what would make me happy. Even when I fantasise about what could be, I see downsides to everything. Life just seems like one Great frustration. And sleep the only time things are good. I sometimes wonder if I had the option of entering a coma and could wake when things were good if I'd take it. I think I would. I'm sure there's something better out there, I just don't know what it is.
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Old 11-02-2010, 01:55 PM   #19 (permalink)
 
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I know exactly how you feel. My parents are both very strict and I feel like neither of them understand how I feel. Being a high school drop out from a military family is rough. I wish there were some way for us to help each other. Well seeing as I rarely get out I can safely say that I'll be here If you need someone to talk to.
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Old 11-02-2010, 02:26 PM   #20 (permalink)
 
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That is EXACTLY how I feel. There are a lot of things that I think I would like to do, but when I actually do them... they are not fun at all. Everything out there seems to revolve around dealing with other people, and I have to be in a super good mood to be able to deal with others. As soon as I get out of the house, instead of feeling happy that I am actually doing stuff, I keep thinking "god, I wish I was back home again" It makes life feel very pointless.
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