Social Anxiety Support

TravisBickle · 06-30-2012, 01:48 AM

Ever since I was a kid I was not very socially involved. Actually, I became less social as time went on, although college has certainly made me a little more socially skilled. I'm 22, and a student at a major university now (going for English major). I am a generally proficient student, getting good A and B grades. It does not come out of nowhere, as I dedicate much of my time into studies, often between four to six hours a day outside of classes, even eight or more sometimes. Basically, this is what my average day is like within the context of school. I do have a little spare time for myself in which I mainly enjoy older movies and TV shows and video games, although often no more than two hours a day. Even on weekends I study hard, usually hours. Outside of home, I'd occasionally go out to lunch or dinner, or perhaps to go to the store or see a movie with my family.

My next point is that although I am a successful student, I am still very much to myself. I don't have a girlfriend, and no people I would consider friends, although I have met various friendly acquaintances over the years. I do not necessarily consider family and relatives friends, not even cousins (I don't interact much outside of family gatherings around holidays). I consider myself a reserved, quiet, aloof sort of guy. Others may see me as kind of cool looking (people of both genders have remarked numerous times that they like my style, which often consists of stuff like more formal clothes, leather jackets, fedora hats, a suit, etc, and think I'm a nice guy). I don't want to come across as boastful, but I really did receive all these comments within the last three years, especially after I had lost a lot of weight. I guess it helped my self esteem, but I still find myself withdrawn and distanced from the rest of the world, even alienated. There are times that I believe I am very lonely, and yet others in which I embrace being a loner, being independent from other's influence. I feel as though without a girlfriend I am missing something in this phase of my life, although at other times I embrace it and do not want to married. Please understand though, that I don't believe in sexual intercourse before marriage. I feel like my standards for a girlfriend and marriage are very high, as I would want an attractive, intelligent wife with a very agreeable personality.

I am still trying to discover more about my feelings, as I feel I don't know them quite well enough. Thank God I am doing well for school, but in short, outside of my own family and my faith (Christianity), there is literally no one significant to my life. Other people I met over the years came and went. I feel like Robert De Niro's character in the movie Taxi Driver, Travis Bickle, or even like the character in the movie Le Samourai (see my avatar, Jef Costello played by Alain Delon). Both movie characters, one a taxi driver and the other a skilled assassin, are good and efficient at what they do, but have no friends. They are probably a couple of the best examples of "cool" loner characters in movies. I'd recommend seeing those, and they exhibit socially awkward traits as well.

I'll post later too. Maybe some of my opinions will change the more I think it through.

Pennywise · 06-30-2012, 05:01 PM

Sounds almost exactly like me. I have on/off feelings about it though. Half the time I hate it; I want companionship (platonic of otherwise), and regret shutting myself off from other people, because it's harder to break out of your shell that way.

But then other times I love it; I feel like my anti-social ways are justified, and that I don't need other people to validate my existence, and will be alone to fill myself with contempt of other people.

I guess I could become more sociable if I wanted to. When I'm forced to talk to people (like my brother's friends), after a while they will remark that I'm never outside, and ask why. This usually means that they think I should hang out with them more, but then I turn on them and start hating people again.

crispy21 · 06-30-2012, 05:27 PM

Kinda the same except for excess studying and sex before marriage. I want sex asap!

Stay Strong · 06-30-2012, 07:00 PM

We are extremely similar especially with the formal clothing. I don't have friends so much as friendly acquaintances that I talk to occasionally. I could spend time with a big group of people and still feel alienated and alone. The only difference we have is faith (not here to argue) I am an Agnostic Atheist and always wonder what the point of all of it is. I really wish I could believe Christianity ( I mean absolutely no offense ) I'm going off to college so hopefully that will make me socialize abut more. Whatever is missing in your life even if you don't know what it is...I really wish you te best ad hope you find it.

natsumeri · 06-30-2012, 07:16 PM

I am the same way, im trying to get myself out of that zone by exercising to improve my self-esteem and mental health.
it not easy to get back in control of your life with anxiety but it will happen slowly and you begin to feel better about yourself. i wish you the best of luck on you journey through life.

06-30-2012, 01:48 AM	#1 (permalink)
TravisBickle Status: Taxi Driver Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: USA Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 82	Does anybody else life a lifestyle like mine? Ever since I was a kid I was not very socially involved. Actually, I became less social as time went on, although college has certainly made me a little more socially skilled. I'm 22, and a student at a major university now (going for English major). I am a generally proficient student, getting good A and B grades. It does not come out of nowhere, as I dedicate much of my time into studies, often between four to six hours a day outside of classes, even eight or more sometimes. Basically, this is what my average day is like within the context of school. I do have a little spare time for myself in which I mainly enjoy older movies and TV shows and video games, although often no more than two hours a day. Even on weekends I study hard, usually hours. Outside of home, I'd occasionally go out to lunch or dinner, or perhaps to go to the store or see a movie with my family. My next point is that although I am a successful student, I am still very much to myself. I don't have a girlfriend, and no people I would consider friends, although I have met various friendly acquaintances over the years. I do not necessarily consider family and relatives friends, not even cousins (I don't interact much outside of family gatherings around holidays). I consider myself a reserved, quiet, aloof sort of guy. Others may see me as kind of cool looking (people of both genders have remarked numerous times that they like my style, which often consists of stuff like more formal clothes, leather jackets, fedora hats, a suit, etc, and think I'm a nice guy). I don't want to come across as boastful, but I really did receive all these comments within the last three years, especially after I had lost a lot of weight. I guess it helped my self esteem, but I still find myself withdrawn and distanced from the rest of the world, even alienated. There are times that I believe I am very lonely, and yet others in which I embrace being a loner, being independent from other's influence. I feel as though without a girlfriend I am missing something in this phase of my life, although at other times I embrace it and do not want to married. Please understand though, that I don't believe in sexual intercourse before marriage. I feel like my standards for a girlfriend and marriage are very high, as I would want an attractive, intelligent wife with a very agreeable personality. I am still trying to discover more about my feelings, as I feel I don't know them quite well enough. Thank God I am doing well for school, but in short, outside of my own family and my faith (Christianity), there is literally no one significant to my life. Other people I met over the years came and went. I feel like Robert De Niro's character in the movie Taxi Driver, Travis Bickle, or even like the character in the movie Le Samourai (see my avatar, Jef Costello played by Alain Delon). Both movie characters, one a taxi driver and the other a skilled assassin, are good and efficient at what they do, but have no friends. They are probably a couple of the best examples of "cool" loner characters in movies. I'd recommend seeing those, and they exhibit socially awkward traits as well. I'll post later too. Maybe some of my opinions will change the more I think it through. __________________ "June 29th, I gotta get in shape now. From now on it'll be 50 pushups each morning, 50 pullups." -Travis Bickle, Taxi Driver

06-30-2012, 05:27 PM	#3 (permalink)
crispy21 Status: Anxiety-ridden Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: NJ Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 106	Kinda the same except for excess studying and sex before marriage. I want sex asap! __________________ Life is one big "catch 22"

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06-30-2012, 05:01 PM	#2 (permalink)
Pennywise Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Gender: Male Posts: 1,148	Sounds almost exactly like me. I have on/off feelings about it though. Half the time I hate it; I want companionship (platonic of otherwise), and regret shutting myself off from other people, because it's harder to break out of your shell that way. But then other times I love it; I feel like my anti-social ways are justified, and that I don't need other people to validate my existence, and will be alone to fill myself with contempt of other people. I guess I could become more sociable if I wanted to. When I'm forced to talk to people (like my brother's friends), after a while they will remark that I'm never outside, and ask why. This usually means that they think I should hang out with them more, but then I turn on them and start hating people again.

06-30-2012, 07:00 PM	#4 (permalink)
Stay Strong Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: United States Gender: Male Age: 19 Posts: 33	We are extremely similar especially with the formal clothing. I don't have friends so much as friendly acquaintances that I talk to occasionally. I could spend time with a big group of people and still feel alienated and alone. The only difference we have is faith (not here to argue) I am an Agnostic Atheist and always wonder what the point of all of it is. I really wish I could believe Christianity ( I mean absolutely no offense ) I'm going off to college so hopefully that will make me socialize abut more. Whatever is missing in your life even if you don't know what it is...I really wish you te best ad hope you find it.

06-30-2012, 07:16 PM	#5 (permalink)
natsumeri Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2012 Location: hmmmmmm? Gender: Female Posts: 87	I am the same way, im trying to get myself out of that zone by exercising to improve my self-esteem and mental health. it not easy to get back in control of your life with anxiety but it will happen slowly and you begin to feel better about yourself. i wish you the best of luck on you journey through life.