Social Anxiety Support

SaGgY · 10-30-2009, 04:31 PM

I have sa and no friends, now that thats out of the way. If I some how got past my sa, I think i still wouldn't be able to get a friend or a girlfriend. Since I've isolated my self from other people for so long, and haven't been around many people. I think i would be too boring/bland and no one would want to hang around me anyways.

rcapo89 · 10-30-2009, 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaGgY

I have sa and no friends, now that thats out of the way. If I some how got past my sa, I think i still wouldn't be able to get a friend or a girlfriend. Since I've isolated my self from other people for so long, and haven't been around many people. I think i would be too boring/bland and no one would want to hang around me anyways.

Hey Michael I know exactly how you feel. It has been over 3 years since I had ANY friends.
You can PM me if you want to talk.

glarmph · 10-30-2009, 04:43 PM

Yeah. I've been alone for so long, I have lost any ability to communicate with people. Even if I could I have absolutely nothing to say. All I can do is nod and smile. Too far gone to ever go back.

shadowmask · 10-30-2009, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glarmph

Yeah. I've been alone for so long, I have lost any ability to communicate with people. Even if I could I have absolutely nothing to say. All I can do is nod and smile. Too far gone to ever go back.

Pretty much the same for me. Even when talking to people online, in which case SA isn't a factor for me, I almost always run out of **** to say five minutes into the conversation. I've practically given up on making any real friends at this point.

Moon Calf · 10-30-2009, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glarmph

Even if I could I have absolutely nothing to say.

I'm in the same boat. Other people have stories to tell, but I've never done anything worth mentioning.

jas498 · 10-30-2009, 04:57 PM

*sniff* me too. I've been wallowing in my sorry state all day. It's a vicious cycle but there are ways out... and with all the people in the world, there are certainly people who would want to be friends with you. I should probably listen to my own advice. ahhhh instead... more wine please?

Deathinmusic · 10-30-2009, 05:37 PM

OP, that's exactly how I feel and I actually think that's a bigger problem for me than SA, or at least as big. I haven't accumulated any life experiences and so have nothing to talk to people about. There's no foundation on which to form a relationship.

2Talkative · 10-30-2009, 05:39 PM

Love the avatar Jas...... at least SA can't steal our sense of humor.

I'm boring....but it's not me it's SA. I've always wanted to be exciting and do new things but " I've got the fear "

Ing · 10-30-2009, 05:41 PM

I don't have any friends and haven't had any for years, but I have found lots of hobbies that I find to be very interesting. I sometimes feel boring when i'm talking with someone because I usually can't think of things to say, but I think that is more about the conditioning of the mind that comes along with social anxiety. So no, I don't think i'm boring and don't often feel bored.

slkjao · 10-30-2009, 07:29 PM

i feel pretty much the same. ive just become really apathetic. We can beat it though once we feel the zest for life again!

Im really envious of the ppl where language just flows so easily off their tongue. but maybe it is practice after years and years. i also have the problem with not having anything to talk about. i have no stories to tell because i dont do anything but stay home lol.

I think once i start feeling less anxious hopefully through therapy. i wont be so anxious around ppl. i will go out more and learn to communicate after a long time like a year or 2.

toffee · 10-30-2009, 07:32 PM

hell yeah. i know i'm boring.

photofreak · 10-30-2009, 07:47 PM

I feel that way all the time.. i kind of think part of it is do to the lack of self confidence and because I don't ever do anything or get to do anything. so i feel like i don't have anything to talk about.. at least nothing interesting.

Efsee · 10-30-2009, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadowmask

Pretty much the same for me. Even when talking to people online, in which case SA isn't a factor for me, I almost always run out of **** to say five minutes into the conversation. I've practically given up on making any real friends at this point.

describes me perfectly. might just be the low self-esteem talking, but probably not. occasionally I have something interesting to say irl that shows i'm not completely boring and lacking personality.

shygirl86 · 10-30-2009, 08:17 PM

Me too. I was gona write a post about this. It's like even if you do get past the SA, what the **** are you supposed to do then? Like jumping a fence only to land in a ditch :P.
Do you guys feel like you find yourself boring, or you just think other people think you're boring? Cos i'm quite ok with my boringness when i'm alone...is that weird?

toffee · 10-30-2009, 08:28 PM

damn. i can relate to you all. this forum should colonize to SAS land

leonardess · 10-31-2009, 02:02 AM

god, I wrestle with this every day. it's one of my deeply situated, moved-in-and-raided-my-fridge-without-even-asking issues.

12345 · 10-31-2009, 02:03 AM

Losing the ability to communicate sux big time. I remember this happened to me after one long summer holidays all alone. I had a few friends at school but they didn't call me to do anything (*******s). When I came back to school I seriously had changed for the worse in terms of communicating. I had no f'ing idea what to say to guys that previously I could talk to for hours. It was the most f'ed up time ever.

However Im definently better at communicating now. It took practice. That long period of isolation really did screw me up in more ways than one though. Im still working on a problem I developed then which was about 10 years ago.
The key to mental health is to avoid isolation and keep busy. I think the best medecine is socialising. That may be hard when you have no friends. I guess talking to your parents is better than nothing.

Forest · 10-31-2009, 02:41 AM

No friends here either

leonardess · 10-31-2009, 02:45 AM

^How do I get out of this Forest?

Run, Forest, Run.

sorry, couldn't resist.....

mind_games · 10-31-2009, 05:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shygirl86

Me too. I was gona write a post about this. It's like even if you do get past the SA, what the **** are you supposed to do then? Like jumping a fence only to land in a ditch :P.

I SO agree, lol. As if either issue on its own didn't narrow down our chances of finding someone.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shygirl86

Do you guys feel like you find yourself boring, or you just think other people think you're boring? Cos i'm quite ok with my boringness when i'm alone...is that weird?

No I don't bore myself. Its when I consider interacting with people that all these issues rise out of the woodwork.

There have been a very rare number of people amongst whom I don't feel this way. I come out of my shell and actually enjoy their company and feel for the most part that I can be interesting and add something to the interaction. However its more to do with their very outgoing and laid back personality - they are the types of people who can get along with anyone. I've only met 2 such people so far (and no longer have the same relationship with them

).

10-30-2009, 04:31 PM	#1 (permalink)
SaGgY Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: arkansas Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 44	Does any one else think there boring? I have sa and no friends, now that thats out of the way. If I some how got past my sa, I think i still wouldn't be able to get a friend or a girlfriend. Since I've isolated my self from other people for so long, and haven't been around many people. I think i would be too boring/bland and no one would want to hang around me anyways.

10-30-2009, 04:57 PM	#6 (permalink)
jas498 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Michigan/Indiana Posts: 244	sniff me too. I've been wallowing in my sorry state all day. It's a vicious cycle but there are ways out... and with all the people in the world, there are certainly people who would want to be friends with you. I should probably listen to my own advice. ahhhh instead... more wine please? __________________ Yes I think I may have lost my ramen noodles. But if the world could've remained, within a frame. Like a painting on a wall. Well then I think we'd see the beauty. Stand staring in awe. At our still lives posed. -Bright Eyes [hr:37gjmwbv][/hr:37gjmwbv] "It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." Carl Sagan

10-30-2009, 05:39 PM	#8 (permalink)
2Talkative Status: MIA Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Vancouver BC Gender: Male Age: 28 Posts: 509	Love the avatar Jas...... at least SA can't steal our sense of humor. I'm boring....but it's not me it's SA. I've always wanted to be exciting and do new things but " I've got the fear " __________________ "I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds." - Henry Rollins

10-30-2009, 07:29 PM	#10 (permalink)
slkjao Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Sylmar, California Gender: Male Age: 19 Posts: 74	i feel pretty much the same. ive just become really apathetic. We can beat it though once we feel the zest for life again! Im really envious of the ppl where language just flows so easily off their tongue. but maybe it is practice after years and years. i also have the problem with not having anything to talk about. i have no stories to tell because i dont do anything but stay home lol. I think once i start feeling less anxious hopefully through therapy. i wont be so anxious around ppl. i will go out more and learn to communicate after a long time like a year or 2. __________________ "Success doesn't mean the absence of failures; it means the attainment of ultimate objectives. It means winning the war, not every battle." —Edwin C. Bliss

10-30-2009, 07:32 PM	#11 (permalink)
toffee Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: England Gender: Female Age: 17 Posts: 181	hell yeah. i know i'm boring. __________________ Everywhere i look, you're all i see.. just a fading ****ing reminder of who i used to be.

10-30-2009, 04:43 PM	#3 (permalink)
glarmph Status: Hiding in my basement Join Date: May 2009 Location: Illinois Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 243	Yeah. I've been alone for so long, I have lost any ability to communicate with people. Even if I could I have absolutely nothing to say. All I can do is nod and smile. Too far gone to ever go back.

10-30-2009, 05:37 PM	#7 (permalink)
Deathinmusic Status: SAD Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Gender: Male Age: 30 Posts: 49	OP, that's exactly how I feel and I actually think that's a bigger problem for me than SA, or at least as big. I haven't accumulated any life experiences and so have nothing to talk to people about. There's no foundation on which to form a relationship.

10-30-2009, 05:41 PM	#9 (permalink)
Ing Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: United States Gender: Female Age: 19 Posts: 61	I don't have any friends and haven't had any for years, but I have found lots of hobbies that I find to be very interesting. I sometimes feel boring when i'm talking with someone because I usually can't think of things to say, but I think that is more about the conditioning of the mind that comes along with social anxiety. So no, I don't think i'm boring and don't often feel bored.

10-30-2009, 07:47 PM	#12 (permalink)
photofreak Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: lake worth, FL Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 56	I feel that way all the time.. i kind of think part of it is do to the lack of self confidence and because I don't ever do anything or get to do anything. so i feel like i don't have anything to talk about.. at least nothing interesting.

10-30-2009, 08:17 PM	#14 (permalink)
shygirl86 Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: New Zealand Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 34	Me too. I was gona write a post about this. It's like even if you do get past the SA, what the **** are you supposed to do then? Like jumping a fence only to land in a ditch :P. Do you guys feel like you find yourself boring, or you just think other people think you're boring? Cos i'm quite ok with my boringness when i'm alone...is that weird?

10-30-2009, 08:28 PM	#15 (permalink)
toffee Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: England Gender: Female Age: 17 Posts: 181	damn. i can relate to you all. this forum should colonize to SAS land __________________ Everywhere i look, you're all i see.. just a fading ****ing reminder of who i used to be.

10-31-2009, 02:02 AM	#16 (permalink)
leonardess Status: wheresthefire?inmyeye! Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: WILL you people please leave me alone?I'm supposed to be working lol Gender: Female Age: 45 Posts: 1,231	god, I wrestle with this every day. it's one of my deeply situated, moved-in-and-raided-my-fridge-without-even-asking issues. __________________ One day I will change this sig to something really cool, if I only had a brain....

10-31-2009, 02:03 AM	#17 (permalink)
12345 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 82	Losing the ability to communicate sux big time. I remember this happened to me after one long summer holidays all alone. I had a few friends at school but they didn't call me to do anything (*******s). When I came back to school I seriously had changed for the worse in terms of communicating. I had no f'ing idea what to say to guys that previously I could talk to for hours. It was the most f'ed up time ever. However Im definently better at communicating now. It took practice. That long period of isolation really did screw me up in more ways than one though. Im still working on a problem I developed then which was about 10 years ago. The key to mental health is to avoid isolation and keep busy. I think the best medecine is socialising. That may be hard when you have no friends. I guess talking to your parents is better than nothing.

10-31-2009, 02:41 AM	#18 (permalink)
Forest Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 70	No friends here either __________________ How do I get out of this Forest?

10-31-2009, 02:45 AM	#19 (permalink)
leonardess Status: wheresthefire?inmyeye! Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: WILL you people please leave me alone?I'm supposed to be working lol Gender: Female Age: 45 Posts: 1,231	^How do I get out of this Forest? Run, Forest, Run. sorry, couldn't resist..... __________________ One day I will change this sig to something really cool, if I only had a brain....