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Old 04-10-2013, 01:08 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default Do you make people feel awkward?

I always get the impression people are uncomfortable around me.

Teachers, strangers, people at school & maybe even my own family.
One example would be walking into a classroom and it's just the teacher there or even in random conversations.

I've had experiences like, teachers would not know how to react around me, they would say hello to other students and completely ignore me..i know it's probably due to my "issues" but it still hurts..
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Old 04-10-2013, 01:09 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Yeah, I feel like I do that too.
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Old 04-10-2013, 01:39 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Hi,

I'm new here - this is actually my very first post. I just wanted to say I can so relate to the below post. I've always felt people were uncomfortable around me. In school teachers seemed to act weird around me, and at work its like people don't know how to talk to me, like they cannot think of anything they could talk about.
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Old 04-10-2013, 01:53 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Yep, I know what you mean. I guess I can look at it in a good way, and think that I had the power to stop even the most outgoing and social people in their tracks. But then quickly comes the harsh reality that I tend to come off as so awkward that the vibe takes over the whole area of people involved.

It's also that it seems like everything is goes well with these "normal" "social" people, and then you join in and disrupt the pleasant vibes, and making things awkward when they didn't need to be. I think the worst part about all that is thinking/feeling: "Ha, why wouldn't people want me to go the hell away after that?"
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Old 04-10-2013, 01:53 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Only when I say something completely out of the ordinary or if I'm like shaking out of nervousness when I'm trying to show them something. That's when they start walking away and I'm just like ***** that. You can just tell em that I don't have to be nervous instead of walking away from me. A lot of people do not know how to react when it comes to dealing with others who have social anxiety. They just act in a manner which is offensive and not helpful. Oh well.
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Old 04-10-2013, 02:35 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Yeah all the time.
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Old 04-10-2013, 02:41 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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Yeah but don't worry about it...If you go in with the attitude that you will make people feel awkward then YOU WILL make people feel awkward...Just try to be yourself whatever happens happens...
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Old 04-10-2013, 04:07 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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I do get the distinct impression that my lack of eye contact and inability to make much smalltalk (plus my lack of a social life or usual hobbies) make other people feel ill at ease with me, like they haven't a clue what to do. :/ That itself doesn't bother me TOO much (I can't really blame them!), but when they decide to assume I'm a snob or just don't like people because of this, and then when they shun or judge me for that, that's what hurts.

A girl tried very hard in high school to chum around with me, but I just couldn't reciprocate much, we had nothing in common and it takes me ages to warm to people; she was moving rather fast for me. Finally she outright asked me to go to a movie with her. I felt too bad turning her down so agreed to it, but I was so full of dread and did NOT want to go at all. I ended up staying home from school that day for an unrelated reason, but yes, I was relieved to not have to deal with going to the movie. When I showed up at school the day after, she glanced at me kind of uneasily, and never spoke to me again. -_-
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Old 04-10-2013, 04:24 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Yeah, that pretty much is my life right now.

Wherever I am in public it feels like I make people nervous. I can no longer tell if it because they are reacting to me or it's just because I am the one who is so uncomfortable about being around people that I am just projecting my emotions on others. Sometimes I think it's because my nervousness is obvious to people, so they get nervous around me. But then other times I try to appear as calm as possible, and people still seem to react negatively to me. Then I obsess about my appearance. It's so tiring.
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Old 04-10-2013, 11:07 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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I only make people feel awkward if they go out of their way to make me feel uncomfortable first. Nothing wrong with getting a little revenge lol.
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Old 04-10-2013, 11:18 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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Not intentionally, I hate making others feel awkward. There is a certain finesse others have, when it comes to strangers. I completely lack that, and I can tell it makes others uncomfortable.

Even earlier today, I was sitting in a gazebo at college and some guy comes in, loudly says hi, I say hi back - he start asking me if I was waiting for another class. I don't even know the dude, and it seems like he is interrogating me. Realizing I am prone to anxiety attacks, and a bit of paranoia I just tried to play along, and try to dismiss my initial reaction. I could tell he felt a bit uncomfortable, we both did. Then an instructor came in, they both started talking about weed.. Rather loudly, which I found to be strange.. it was sort of obvious that they wanted me to join in on the conversation, but really I didn't have much to say and could tell it was making them both feel weird. But really, who the heck would start talking about illegal substances in the first place, while a complete stranger is present, especially if you are an instructor there?

Ultimately, yes I made them uncomfortable. So, I got up and left. It sort of irked me though, it was a nice shady spot and they are the ones that did it to themselves.
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Old 04-10-2013, 11:47 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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All the time! I guess it's pretty obvious for people around me that I'm that loner who can't go beyond casual chit chat about homework. I try to be as warm as possible.. never works
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Old 04-11-2013, 06:43 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zonebox View Post
Not intentionally, I hate making others feel awkward. There is a certain finesse others have, when it comes to strangers. I completely lack that, and I can tell it makes others uncomfortable.

Even earlier today, I was sitting in a gazebo at college and some guy comes in, loudly says hi, I say hi back - he start asking me if I was waiting for another class. I don't even know the dude, and it seems like he is interrogating me. Realizing I am prone to anxiety attacks, and a bit of paranoia I just tried to play along, and try to dismiss my initial reaction. I could tell he felt a bit uncomfortable, we both did. Then an instructor came in, they both started talking about weed.. Rather loudly, which I found to be strange.. it was sort of obvious that they wanted me to join in on the conversation, but really I didn't have much to say and could tell it was making them both feel weird. But really, who the heck would start talking about illegal substances in the first place, while a complete stranger is present, especially if you are an instructor there?

Ultimately, yes I made them uncomfortable. So, I got up and left. It sort of irked me though, it was a nice shady spot and they are the ones that did it to themselves.
Urgh. Some people. >:/

IMO they were the ones being socially awkward here, not you.
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***

(Devetko's boyfriend Stan Brooks & Det. Reichert are horsing around.)

Det. Kristeva: "If it were legal you'd marry me, right?"
Det. Devetko: "Definitely."

***

"No canoes...no maple sugar...this place is horribly uncivilized."--Manabozho, Escape From Manitou Island

***

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Old 04-11-2013, 06:46 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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Yes I do. What's funny is you can take a really outgoing person and watch them talk up a storm, but once they get around me, being a quiet person, I stop them dead in their tracks,LOL. They just don't seem to know what to say then. Pwnd, LOL
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Old 04-11-2013, 07:35 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zonebox View Post
Not intentionally, I hate making others feel awkward. There is a certain finesse others have, when it comes to strangers. I completely lack that, and I can tell it makes others uncomfortable.

Even earlier today, I was sitting in a gazebo at college and some guy comes in, loudly says hi, I say hi back - he start asking me if I was waiting for another class. I don't even know the dude, and it seems like he is interrogating me. Realizing I am prone to anxiety attacks, and a bit of paranoia I just tried to play along, and try to dismiss my initial reaction. I could tell he felt a bit uncomfortable, we both did. Then an instructor came in, they both started talking about weed.. Rather loudly, which I found to be strange.. it was sort of obvious that they wanted me to join in on the conversation, but really I didn't have much to say and could tell it was making them both feel weird. But really, who the heck would start talking about illegal substances in the first place, while a complete stranger is present, especially if you are an instructor there?

Ultimately, yes I made them uncomfortable. So, I got up and left. It sort of irked me though, it was a nice shady spot and they are the ones that did it to themselves.
I would have said back to him - Do I know you, is there something you want or that I can help you with ?
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Old 04-11-2013, 07:42 PM   #16 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nessie91 View Post
I always get the impression people are uncomfortable around me.


I've had experiences like, teachers would not know how to react around me, they would say hello to other students and completely ignore me..i know it's probably due to my "issues" but it still hurts..
I know EXACTLY what you mean, this would happen to me when I was still in high school- all the time! lol I always made weird eye contact with the teacher or none at all... definitely think I made the teachers feel uncomfortable. They did the exact same thing too- talk to other students sitting next to me and ignore me etc.

Still happens in college too but not as much since I tend not to interact with my professors out of fear..
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