Do you look unapproachable? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 70 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 07:18 AM Thread Starter
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Do you look unapproachable?

I seem to give off anti-social vibes without even realising it. An ex-friend once said to me that I "look like I want to kill somebody" when I was actually feeling good that day. Other people have told me I come across as intimidating - I'm probably the least intimidating person they will meet. Most of the time I try to make myself invisible when I'm out in public or with a group of people. I don't want anybody to see that I'm just a complete nervous wreck inside.
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post #2 of 70 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 07:20 AM
is getting over herself
 
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I guess I must, because I always have to initiate.

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post #3 of 70 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 07:27 AM Thread Starter
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Which isn't easy when you have SP. It's a struggle just to string a coherent sentence together.
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post #4 of 70 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 07:28 AM
is getting over herself
 
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oh, I can manage that. It's what comes after that's the hardest part.

Live Cage Free!!!! or, at least be wild caught.
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post #5 of 70 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 07:29 AM Thread Starter
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The awkward silence?
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post #6 of 70 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 07:31 AM
is getting over herself
 
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.....mmm, yeah.

(awkward silence ensues)

Live Cage Free!!!! or, at least be wild caught.
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post #7 of 70 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 07:36 AM
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Apparently I do, since I can't see myself interact with others I can't say for sure. But my nickname from the guys I used to work on a construction site with was Jeffrey Dahmer, for those who aren't familiar with the name he's a serial killer. I guess that makes me look pretty creepy
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post #8 of 70 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 07:48 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by BetaBoy90 View Post
But my nickname from the guys I used to work on a construction site with was Jeffrey Dahmer, for those who aren't familiar with the name he's a serial killer.


Maybe laughing at that comment makes me creepy. My sense of humour is kind of wicked, I suppose that doesn't help either.
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post #9 of 70 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 07:57 AM
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I would have to say yeah. Hardly no one new approaches me...but maybe that could be because I spend most of my time at home, if I'm not at work.

I believe I look slightly intimidating with the constant "mean glare" that shows even when I'm happy. My mom always tells me I look mean, and I tell her the same--It's the genetics lol.

Sometimes, I kinda like the intimidating factor; it prevents people from bothering me when I don't want to be bothered. But on the other hand, it's something I wish I could get rid of easily, ya know?
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post #10 of 70 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 08:16 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Xuaraus View Post
I believe I look slightly intimidating with the constant "mean glare" that shows even when I'm happy. My mom always tells me I look mean, and I tell her the same--It's the genetics lol.


I go from happy to miserable and my facial expression doesn't change.

Quote:
Sometimes, I kinda like the intimidating factor; it prevents people from bothering me when I don't want to be bothered. But on the other hand, it's something I wish I could get rid of easily, ya know?
Yep. I'd like to be able to turn it on and off. But there are always people who will insist on finding out the reason why you can't be bothered, where do you start?
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post #11 of 70 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 08:33 AM
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you can approach me like you would a wild bear. Walk backwards, very carefully, or play dead.
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post #12 of 70 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 08:43 AM
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I think I appear sweet/scared. I look as if I'd run away if someone close by sneezed in my direction,but I'd attempt to make my footsteps soft and non irritating!

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post #13 of 70 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 11:02 AM
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I usually tend to appear annoyed/standoffish or quite nervous, one or the other & half the time it's subconscious, I haven't any active intention of being one or the other. Neither way makes me seem approach able, & fumbling in a conversation if I am approached doesn't help either


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post #14 of 70 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 11:11 AM
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I think I do. I think generally my expression looks unhappy - even when I'm not inside. I just don't have that natural "happy/content" facial expression that some people have. (Although I guess a lot of the time I'm not happy or content.) Plus I'm super quiet and not very good at conversation. So all said, I'm not a people magnet. :-)

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post #15 of 70 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 11:19 AM
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I'd say i look approachable alright. I cant think why not.

But sometimes if I'm in a bad mood, I bring my inflatable alligator with me walkin round Dublin. Aye, ya wouldnt mess with him! (calm yerself Snappy, we're staying in tonight!)

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post #16 of 70 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 11:25 AM
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Tell you what. If I see any of you on Tinychat you can tell me how I come across I've heard mixed things to be honest with you. Some people say I look nervous or angry, some people say I'm the sort of guy they'd get to know on a bus lol so I'm confused.
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post #17 of 70 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 11:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PerfectStrangersx View Post


I go from happy to miserable and my facial expression doesn't change.



Yep. I'd like to be able to turn it on and off. But there are always people who will insist on finding out the reason why you can't be bothered, where do you start?
Hmm, good question. It usually depends on the person. If they come off as sincere in really wanting to know and/or are genuinely concerned, I'll let them know that I'm not really the talkin' type. Sometimes I'm cool with being interactive, and other times, the iPod becomes my shield. Gotta appear busy, busy busy!

<--- The best dancer evah!
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post #18 of 70 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 11:58 AM
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My face looks like this internet meme, all the time.

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post #19 of 70 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 12:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Bouffon View Post
My face looks like this internet meme, all the time.

lol! I love that meme...

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post #20 of 70 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 12:03 PM
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Today at the laundry a man came in the door i was facing. The corners of my mouth immediately turned down, smirking at him. It's just like a defensive reaction, like putting up a shield, or if something flew at me, putting up my arm.

Awakened at midnight
by the sound of the water jar
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"People see me / I'm a challenge / to your balance" -- Wonder, Natalie Merchant
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