Do you have any hopes and dreams? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-16-2009, 10:26 PM Thread Starter
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Do you have any hopes and dreams?

I realized...I don't anymore. My husband asked what I wanted and I realized, the honest answer is I haven't any hopes or dreams anymore. Years and years of hurt and disappointment have just beaten them out of me. I live my life to try to make him happy, to give him what he wants, but what do I want? Nothing. I feel dead inside sometimes. How could I change that? I feel too useless and undeserving to want anything.
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post #2 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-17-2009, 03:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deferred dream View Post
I realized...I don't anymore. My husband asked what I wanted and I realized, the honest answer is I haven't any hopes or dreams anymore. Years and years of hurt and disappointment have just beaten them out of me. I live my life to try to make him happy, to give him what he wants, but what do I want? Nothing. I feel dead inside sometimes. How could I change that? I feel too useless and undeserving to want anything.
I'm sure your not useless and undeserving, you may just need to take some time to think about whats happened up to this point.

You just need to take a step back and think about what you want for yourself, dreams are never truly gone, it's just a matter of believing in yourself and the fact that they can still be possible to achieve. Your past may have been hard on you, but I believe you can still re-discover those dreams if you put your mind to it. Talking to your husband about it may also help you feel better.

I hope this helps.

-Don't be pushed by your problem's, be lead by your dreams.

-In the end, we regret the chances we didn't take.
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post #3 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-17-2009, 04:28 AM
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It might be a slight depression too, I noticed my ambitions disappeared ages ago and I actually am quite contempt with no having them anymore which worries me some times :S

I'm not anxious, I'm hopeful. One day I'll meet someone who finds crippling insecurities and social ineptitude simply lovely =).

I've created a website along with a fellow SAS member on Introverts, Solitude and feeling Disconnected from the people around you.
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post #4 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-17-2009, 05:11 AM
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Yes, always. Having ambitions keeps me pushing myself to overcome my SA.
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post #5 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-17-2009, 05:28 AM
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The weight of the world crushed my soul a over a decade ago. I haven't had any hopes or dreams since then. Just eeking out each miserable day until i finally die.
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post #6 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-17-2009, 06:02 AM
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As some of you know I love cars, and I looked up the profile of Lewis Hamilton, a VERY successful F1 racer, and saw that he was only 24 years old. And it made me realize that I'm 21 and right around the corner from 22, and have accomplished barely anything in my life, and don't see myself doing so in the near or distant future.

Sure, I'd love to be a championship racer, or the CEO of a multi-billion dollar computer corporation, but I came to terms with reality a very long time ago with the fact that I don't have the mental or physical capacity to do those things.

So no hopes for me. Just daydreams of a better life that will never happen.

"Okay, fine. Let's all act like humans. 'Look at me. Boy, do I love sweating. Let's convert beef and leaves into energy and excrete them later and go shopping.'"- GLaDOS
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post #7 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-17-2009, 08:58 AM
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Not many hopes really. Amazingly I feel so much happier the less I wish for and the more I let go.
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post #8 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-17-2009, 09:13 AM
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how much of hopes and dreams is about our real true selves, and how much of it is about image? I'm wondering about these things myself, and what I really want out of life. Does the unhappiness come from thinking there are things one *should* want, instead of finding out what it is one really wants? Does the unhappiness also come from denying what one really wants?

whew, that's enough of that. give yourself some time to think, that may help, as I think someone else has pointed out already.

Live Cage Free!!!! or, at least be wild caught.
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You can rebuild your self-esteem. Rebuild it into a way that others cannot destroy it anymore.
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post #9 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-17-2009, 09:34 AM
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My dream is to survive.

So far it's come true. Sometimes it doesn't look so good for the future.

I used to obsess over finding love or warmth in my life but it just lead to more misery so I don't bother anymore.

My life is cold and empty.
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post #10 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-17-2009, 09:55 AM
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No dreams left really. My inability to connect with other people has been too damaging. I find everything to be mostly pointless now.

I have felt a connection with one new person in my life recently and while it feels good and even gives me a little hope, I fear it will be gone sooner or later no matter what I do. Then I will only feel worse. The hurt then drives me to turn further inward and avoid all social interaction resulting in more feelings of meaninglessness. It's a catch 22.
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post #11 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-17-2009, 09:57 AM
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My dreams are to write a novel, there's always somethng to hope for and it's the only thing YOU can do for yourself and NO-ONE can ever take it away so I would encourage you to get at least one, it's your prerogative.

I understand though, I don't set my goals to high cos I'm not good for anyone, I feel like I'm not woman enough, it's like I fail at everything but I still feel the need to write the novel cos I'd hate to die tomorrow not having done that.

You do have talents cos we all do, those talents should form the basis of what you should share with the world.

The biggest mistake you can make in life is to be continually afraid of making one-Elbert Hubbard
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post #12 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-17-2009, 10:17 AM
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my dreams.. i think about this all through out lessons i mean, its not like i want to be the most popular girl in school or nothing, a small group of friends and maybe a boyfriend would make my life so much easier oh i also want good grades aswell (which is looking good at the moment )


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post #13 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-17-2009, 10:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deferred dream View Post
I realized...I don't anymore. My husband asked what I wanted and I realized, the honest answer is I haven't any hopes or dreams anymore. Years and years of hurt and disappointment have just beaten them out of me. I live my life to try to make him happy, to give him what he wants, but what do I want? Nothing. I feel dead inside sometimes. How could I change that? I feel too useless and undeserving to want anything.
Is the hurt and disappointment coming from him? Or being married? It's best for both of you to have your own separate interests and lives, then to share them with each other. Are you clinically depressed?

"Don't worry. You're just as sane as I am."
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post #14 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-23-2009, 12:01 AM
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Here is a really good article on social anxiety and deferred dreams!

Here is a really good article on social anxiety and deferred dreams!

It also talks about how you can start to reverse social anxiety by starting to dream again:
(And shows how to do that)--

http://healsocialanxiety.com/SocialA...nonStep4A.html



Quote:
Originally Posted by deferred dream View Post
I realized...I don't anymore. My husband asked what I wanted and I realized, the honest answer is I haven't any hopes or dreams anymore. Years and years of hurt and disappointment have just beaten them out of me. I live my life to try to make him happy, to give him what he wants, but what do I want? Nothing. I feel dead inside sometimes. How could I change that? I feel too useless and undeserving to want anything.
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post #15 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-23-2009, 12:15 AM
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You're not, undeserving. We all here deserve a chance. I do mean ALL. Although it seems like nobody out there would give us any. It's my hope and dream that keep me going, so that someone could really see me, and finally give me a chance.

Let go of your fears.

http://www.twitter.com/myplaywithwords

I know it can be tough.
You can always contact me here (I always come back here although quite rarely) or at my Twitter (I check it more often than here).
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post #16 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-23-2009, 12:23 AM
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My hopes and dreams are dead. When just getting though each day takes all you have it's hard to have dreams.

DEA agents, being on par with Nazi war criminals, should be executed for crimes against humanity. They are guilty of inflicting mass suffering upon legitimate patients.
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post #17 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-23-2009, 12:26 AM
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I used to think the sky was the limit. Now, I don't have any dreams and I don't want any.
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post #18 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-23-2009, 12:39 AM
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I used to have a huge desire to share a deep(er) relationship with a guy and get married and have a family at one time and to be better than what other people were to me. I always had this push to be something better than what I went thru as a kid. As of this moment, the getting married part is all but off the table. I am forcing myself to stay back from getting in a relationship cus I feel it's something I can't have. I don't want to have that stupid desire anymore anyways. I am trying to focus on getting a job for the time being and then possibly going back to money-draining college....I'm very intrigued by theology and possibly teaching something, hopefully making the world better even if I can only help a small amount and get the focus off of me. Then, I plan on dying at some point. That's about the gist of my plans at this point.

"I feel like a helpless puppet being manipulated in some major scheme."~ Squall Leonhart

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post #19 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-23-2009, 12:50 AM
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Not anymore. The one thing I want in life, I'll never have, and don't deserve.
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post #20 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-23-2009, 01:44 AM
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Maybe just each day, things to do to keep myself busy, but other than that, bigger things...no, not really. It doesn't matter anymore, but that's okay. That's how my life is.
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