Do you have any hopes and dreams? - Social Anxiety Forum
X

Download the SAS Android App

Or switch to mobile version of the forums

X

Download the SAS iPhone App

Or switch to mobile version of the forums

Help/FAQLog InJoin SAS
Go Back   Social Anxiety Forum > Recovery > Frustration

Reply
Old 12-16-2009, 10:26 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
deferred dream's Avatar
 
Status: sort of here
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Texas
Gender: Female
Posts: 19



Default Do you have any hopes and dreams?

I realized...I don't anymore. My husband asked what I wanted and I realized, the honest answer is I haven't any hopes or dreams anymore. Years and years of hurt and disappointment have just beaten them out of me. I live my life to try to make him happy, to give him what he wants, but what do I want? Nothing. I feel dead inside sometimes. How could I change that? I feel too useless and undeserving to want anything.
deferred dream is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2009, 03:58 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
Amarande's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: United States
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Posts: 73



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by deferred dream View Post
I realized...I don't anymore. My husband asked what I wanted and I realized, the honest answer is I haven't any hopes or dreams anymore. Years and years of hurt and disappointment have just beaten them out of me. I live my life to try to make him happy, to give him what he wants, but what do I want? Nothing. I feel dead inside sometimes. How could I change that? I feel too useless and undeserving to want anything.
I'm sure your not useless and undeserving, you may just need to take some time to think about whats happened up to this point.

You just need to take a step back and think about what you want for yourself, dreams are never truly gone, it's just a matter of believing in yourself and the fact that they can still be possible to achieve. Your past may have been hard on you, but I believe you can still re-discover those dreams if you put your mind to it. Talking to your husband about it may also help you feel better.

I hope this helps.
__________________
-Don't be pushed by your problem's, be lead by your dreams.

-In the end, we regret the chances we didn't take.
Amarande is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2009, 04:28 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
Wehttam's Avatar
 
Status: Diffident
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Perth, Australia
Gender: Male
Age: 26
Posts: 300



Default

It might be a slight depression too, I noticed my ambitions disappeared ages ago and I actually am quite contempt with no having them anymore which worries me some times :S
__________________
I'm not anxious, I'm hopeful. One day I'll meet someone who finds crippling insecurities and social ineptitude simply lovely =).

I've created a website along with a fellow SAS member on Introverts, Solitude and feeling Disconnected from the people around you.
Wehttam is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2009, 05:11 AM   #4 (permalink)
 
Status: User Requested Ban
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 293



Default

Yes, always. Having ambitions keeps me pushing myself to overcome my SA.
ostorozhno is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2009, 05:28 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
Status: Hiding in my basement
Join Date: May 2009
Age: 30
Posts: 347



Default

The weight of the world crushed my soul a over a decade ago. I haven't had any hopes or dreams since then. Just eeking out each miserable day until i finally die.
glarmph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2009, 06:02 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
Your Crazy's Avatar
 
Status: 4 + 1 = MOO
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,410



Default

As some of you know I love cars, and I looked up the profile of Lewis Hamilton, a VERY successful F1 racer, and saw that he was only 24 years old. And it made me realize that I'm 21 and right around the corner from 22, and have accomplished barely anything in my life, and don't see myself doing so in the near or distant future.

Sure, I'd love to be a championship racer, or the CEO of a multi-billion dollar computer corporation, but I came to terms with reality a very long time ago with the fact that I don't have the mental or physical capacity to do those things.

So no hopes for me. Just daydreams of a better life that will never happen.
__________________
"Okay, fine. Let's all act like humans. 'Look at me. Boy, do I love sweating. Let's convert beef and leaves into energy and excrete them later and go shopping.'"- GLaDOS
Your Crazy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2009, 08:58 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
TheVoid's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,362



Default

Not many hopes really. Amazingly I feel so much happier the less I wish for and the more I let go.
TheVoid is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2009, 09:13 AM   #8 (permalink)
 
leonardess's Avatar
 
Status: is getting over herself
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Pants
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,011



Default

how much of hopes and dreams is about our real true selves, and how much of it is about image? I'm wondering about these things myself, and what I really want out of life. Does the unhappiness come from thinking there are things one *should* want, instead of finding out what it is one really wants? Does the unhappiness also come from denying what one really wants?

whew, that's enough of that. give yourself some time to think, that may help, as I think someone else has pointed out already.
__________________
Live Cage Free!!!! or, at least be wild caught.
SnowFlakesFire:

You can rebuild your self-esteem. Rebuild it into a way that others cannot destroy it anymore.
leonardess is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2009, 09:34 AM   #9 (permalink)
 
earplosion's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Vancouver, BC
Gender: Male
Age: 28
Posts: 118



Default

My dream is to survive.

So far it's come true. Sometimes it doesn't look so good for the future.

I used to obsess over finding love or warmth in my life but it just lead to more misery so I don't bother anymore.

My life is cold and empty.
earplosion is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2009, 09:55 AM   #10 (permalink)
 
Deathinmusic's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,811



Default

No dreams left really. My inability to connect with other people has been too damaging. I find everything to be mostly pointless now.

I have felt a connection with one new person in my life recently and while it feels good and even gives me a little hope, I fear it will be gone sooner or later no matter what I do. Then I will only feel worse. The hurt then drives me to turn further inward and avoid all social interaction resulting in more feelings of meaninglessness. It's a catch 22.
Deathinmusic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2009, 09:57 AM   #11 (permalink)
 
Stargirl09's Avatar
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Wyke, Bradford
Gender: Female
Posts: 697



Default

My dreams are to write a novel, there's always somethng to hope for and it's the only thing YOU can do for yourself and NO-ONE can ever take it away so I would encourage you to get at least one, it's your prerogative.

I understand though, I don't set my goals to high cos I'm not good for anyone, I feel like I'm not woman enough, it's like I fail at everything but I still feel the need to write the novel cos I'd hate to die tomorrow not having done that.

You do have talents cos we all do, those talents should form the basis of what you should share with the world.
__________________
The biggest mistake you can make in life is to be continually afraid of making one-Elbert Hubbard
Stargirl09 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2009, 10:17 AM   #12 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: England
Posts: 104



Default

my dreams.. i think about this all through out lessons i mean, its not like i want to be the most popular girl in school or nothing, a small group of friends and maybe a boyfriend would make my life so much easier oh i also want good grades aswell (which is looking good at the moment )
__________________

TheWeirdOne is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2009, 10:23 AM   #13 (permalink)
 
epril's Avatar
 
Status: sa challenger
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: arizona
Gender: Female
Age: 50
Posts: 5,071



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by deferred dream View Post
I realized...I don't anymore. My husband asked what I wanted and I realized, the honest answer is I haven't any hopes or dreams anymore. Years and years of hurt and disappointment have just beaten them out of me. I live my life to try to make him happy, to give him what he wants, but what do I want? Nothing. I feel dead inside sometimes. How could I change that? I feel too useless and undeserving to want anything.
Is the hurt and disappointment coming from him? Or being married? It's best for both of you to have your own separate interests and lives, then to share them with each other. Are you clinically depressed?
__________________
"Don't worry. You're just as sane as I am."
epril is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2009, 12:01 AM   #14 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Oahu, Hawaii
Gender: Male
Posts: 40



Default Here is a really good article on social anxiety and deferred dreams!

Here is a really good article on social anxiety and deferred dreams!

It also talks about how you can start to reverse social anxiety by starting to dream again:
(And shows how to do that)--

http://healsocialanxiety.com/SocialA...nonStep4A.html



Quote:
Originally Posted by deferred dream View Post
I realized...I don't anymore. My husband asked what I wanted and I realized, the honest answer is I haven't any hopes or dreams anymore. Years and years of hurt and disappointment have just beaten them out of me. I live my life to try to make him happy, to give him what he wants, but what do I want? Nothing. I feel dead inside sometimes. How could I change that? I feel too useless and undeserving to want anything.
sean7phil is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2009, 12:15 AM   #15 (permalink)
 
fictionz's Avatar
 
Status: wanderer with hope
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: somewhere out there
Gender: Female
Age: 26
Posts: 686



Default

You're not, undeserving. We all here deserve a chance. I do mean ALL. Although it seems like nobody out there would give us any. It's my hope and dream that keep me going, so that someone could really see me, and finally give me a chance.
__________________
I think the root of our problems all begin with understanding ourselves.

Let go. Be free.
fictionz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2009, 12:23 AM   #16 (permalink)
 
UltraShy's Avatar
 
Status: Surrounded by Sadness
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Milwaukee, WI (BDSM sadist, Libertarian)
Gender: Male
Age: 41
Posts: 31,086



Default

My hopes and dreams are dead. When just getting though each day takes all you have it's hard to have dreams.
__________________
I wonder what reason I have to live
Desperately I have searched for a meaning
Is it now time for me to let go of the world
UltraShy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2009, 12:26 AM   #17 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 81



Default

I used to think the sky was the limit. Now, I don't have any dreams and I don't want any.
Curb is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2009, 12:39 AM   #18 (permalink)
 
illlaymedown's Avatar
 
Status: The Tragic Princess
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Tupelo, Mississippi
Gender: Female
Age: 28
Posts: 719



Default

I used to have a huge desire to share a deep(er) relationship with a guy and get married and have a family at one time and to be better than what other people were to me. I always had this push to be something better than what I went thru as a kid. As of this moment, the getting married part is all but off the table. I am forcing myself to stay back from getting in a relationship cus I feel it's something I can't have. I don't want to have that stupid desire anymore anyways. I am trying to focus on getting a job for the time being and then possibly going back to money-draining college....I'm very intrigued by theology and possibly teaching something, hopefully making the world better even if I can only help a small amount and get the focus off of me. Then, I plan on dying at some point. That's about the gist of my plans at this point.
__________________
"I feel like a helpless puppet being manipulated in some major scheme."~ Squall Leonhart

"Sometimes a person has to be loved before they can become lovable."~Ravi Zacharias

"As we have gotten more open-minded, we have become more closed-hearted."

My avatar is my art...www.myspace.com/illlaymedown
illlaymedown is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2009, 12:50 AM   #19 (permalink)
 
Status: User Requested Permanent Ban
Join Date: Jun 2009
Gender: Male
Age: 28
Posts: 5,875



Default

Not anymore. The one thing I want in life, I'll never have, and don't deserve.
shadowmask is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2009, 01:44 AM   #20 (permalink)
 
rachelynn's Avatar
 
Status: Daydreaming
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: USA
Gender: Female
Age: 25
Posts: 586



Default

Maybe just each day, things to do to keep myself busy, but other than that, bigger things...no, not really. It doesn't matter anymore, but that's okay. That's how my life is.
rachelynn is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Hopes and Dreams Not So Nervous Nelly General Discussion 8 04-19-2008 01:08 AM
I have high hopes for this new year IllusionOfHappiness Positive Thinking 14 01-05-2008 11:18 PM
Hopes and dreams crushed again Beryl Frustration 1 11-05-2007 12:10 PM
Dreams... WinterDave Society & Culture 8 08-27-2006 11:40 PM

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:23 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® ©2000-2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc. User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging v3.1.0 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2014 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.