Not so much with my parents (I'm an only child), but with my extended family I do. I feel like my cousins think I'm a loser and that they pity me because I have no friends. One of them has tons of friends, is athletic, and he goes to a good college where he's studying engineering. His prospects seem a lot better than mine, and on top of that, my Nana's always gushing about how amazing he is. He's just two years older than me and has already had lots of relationship experience, while I've had none. It hurts when I'm at his house and he has his friends over; I feel so inadequate. My other cousin is in her late twenties, and I know I shouldn't really compare myself with her because she's at a different place in her life, but she's pretty social. Neither of them really talk to me. We don't have that much in common. And then another cousin is just 13 and she's an amazing artist, but for some reason she finds me annoying and nosey. At family get-togethers I used to laugh a lot at my uncle and cousin's antics, but I just don't have much fun at them anymore. It seems like everything's bland now and I just don't fit in. I feel like I've lost something that used to bring me happiness. My family will ask me how I'm doing, and I'll just be like, "oh, same old, same old." There's never anything exciting to report.
"In the desert I saw a creature, naked, bestial, Who, squatting upon the ground, Held his heart in his hands, And ate of it. I said: 'Is it good, friend?' 'It is bitter - bitter,' he answered; 'But I like it Because it is bitter, And because it is my heart.'" - Stephen Crane, In the Desert