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Old 12-03-2009, 08:56 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default Do you ever get negative vibes from people?

I find sometimes I get the feeling that a person doesn't like me even before they have said anything to me or had any other kind of proper interaction with me, just something about their aura when im around. I found this with a couple of people at my job most recently, but its hard to tell whether it is true or if its just all in my head

Anyone else get this?
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Old 12-03-2009, 09:53 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Yeah. I think sometimes I'm too sensitive to social cues.

Last weekend I met my best friend's friends from school, and they were all friendly except this one girl, who ignored me, even though I tried a few times to respond to things she said/be involved in the conversation. It made me feel really crappy. My friend told me that's "just the way she is with new people" but I still felt bad. It's not like she could be as shy as me!
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Old 12-03-2009, 11:11 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Yeah, it happens to everyone. Not everyone is going to like you, and sometimes they make that clear before you even exchange a word.

But since you have SA, it's mostly probably in your head. You have already mentally concluded they don't like you based on their aura or whatever, so that's what you're going to see. I think the best way to deal with this is to assume that they like you anyways. Be friendly and cordial regardless of whatever vibes they might be throwing. A lot of people open up only after they've been treated with some mutual respect.

And if they don't open up to you, then drop them. at least you tried. If you do this, you'll find that a lot of people actually don't make those kinds of preconceived judgments.
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Old 12-03-2009, 11:22 AM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Old 12-03-2009, 11:41 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
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I agree with endtroducing. I feel that way a lot and while I'm sure it is true at times, I think it is mostly in my head. Sometimes I will feel like a coworker just despises me, and then they will randomly be all friendly and I realize it was all how I was perceiving it. It's probably best to try to think positively and be friendly towards them if you aren't sure.

I find it comforting to remind myself that if someone is so shallow or narrow-minded that they decide they dislike me without even so much as saying a word to me, they aren't worth my time or worries anyways.
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Old 12-03-2009, 12:16 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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All the time, there's nothing wrong with getting those vibes. the feeling is saying that you should be more aware of this person.
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Old 12-03-2009, 12:33 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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Yeah a lot of times people will shake my hand but act as if they do not really care to know me. People can be pretty rude at times. I like to just ignore those people sense they are probably that way to many other people. Negativity is nothing more than a sign of insecurity.
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Old 12-03-2009, 01:36 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Yeah, absolutely. It's really annoying, because I've never explicitly done anything to make them dislike me, apart from maybe being too quiet. I feel like, "what have I ever done to you?"
Ditto. Sometimes I even start thinking about what I might've done to 'offend' them.
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Old 12-03-2009, 01:45 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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do you ever get negative vibes from people?

certainly, even if i have to imagine them myself. arhhhhhhhg
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Old 12-03-2009, 01:50 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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People proabably perceive the same things when they meet us.
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Old 12-03-2009, 10:40 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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Yes, but I wonder how much of it is imagined or just me or because they are not smiling all the time and being overly friendly I assume they aren't happy with me.
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Old 12-03-2009, 11:29 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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yes. some people dont give me bad vibes but some people do so i know its not just my imagination or byproduct of sa. its thier ****ing problem not mine. if theyre not talking to me directly about it screw the heck off theyre wasting my time.
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Old 12-04-2009, 03:10 AM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shyvr6 View Post
People proabably perceive the same things when they meet us.
Yeah I agree, I think a lot of it is down to bad social skills and it comes off as being rude
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Old 12-04-2009, 04:23 AM   #14 (permalink)
 
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I do get negative vibes from some people. For example there is this girl at work who I don't get along with much at all, and she kind of says 'Hi Seth' in this really narky tone sometimes. I just find it really difficult talking to her. What is happening is I make no effort to talk to her most of the time, so she perceives me as not liking her or being an *******,(I think) which is fair. The majority of people I meet are reasonably nice, the people I genuinely don't like usually don't like me back, so it all works out. Most of the time I am wondering about the kind of vibes I am putting out, and trying to appear happy and well-adjusted.
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