Social Anxiety Support

illlaymedown · 10-24-2009, 10:32 PM

Since we have SA it's harder for us to handle meeting people in the first place, so what if you're meeting someone important for the first time? How important are first impressions? How do they affect your SA? And what do you do if you really want a good relationship with someone(any kind of relationship), but you make a bad first impression due to SA? How do you get another chance or fix that?

brokensaint · 10-24-2009, 10:38 PM

Make a second impression.

Oneiros · 10-24-2009, 10:48 PM

I tend to think there's a little more at work behind the scenes, something like destiny. If you're meant to get along with someone, you will, but if not, there's nothing you can do about it. This has really helped my anxiety, because I don't stress afterwards if I've made a fool of myself or made a bad impression on someone. It may sound defeatist, but I just think that it wasn't meant to be when this happens. Sometimes people will forget, and give you another chance, but this is not in my control.

Ing · 10-25-2009, 05:34 AM

Yes. I still can't stop thinking of a first impression I made a few weeks ago. I just didn't really say much. I could've asked more about the person too. I guess next time I get a first impression (or second impression with that other person) i'll try to talk more so I don't seem rude.

fluch · 10-25-2009, 02:44 PM

I've often found that first impressions are less important than people seem to make out. I tend not to rely on them at all, since I'm pretty poor at it (making them & forming them of other people...). I'm sure they're important in situations where you only get one shot (e.g. interviews, introducing yourself to a prospective other you might never see again...) but in other situations if you do get a second etc. chance and didn't completely screw up the first then it can be ok.

Case in point since I'm so bad at it if you put me in any situation I'll probably gravitate towards people that I won't like & avoid people I might actually relate to (I have no idea why really, but I find it quite pervasive...). In these kind of situations I've often found I can pick up the thread with someone later months after making a bad/neutral impression. If you're around someone for any length of time you might find that their attitude can change, and people are often forgiving. I tend not to worry about one-off situations as much since they're transient. If I'm interested enough in someone to want to make a good impression I probably know them enough to have a second chance.

10-24-2009, 10:32 PM	#1 (permalink)
illlaymedown Status: Miseria Cantare Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Mississippi Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 365	Do you ever get frustrated by your first impressions? Since we have SA it's harder for us to handle meeting people in the first place, so what if you're meeting someone important for the first time? How important are first impressions? How do they affect your SA? And what do you do if you really want a good relationship with someone(any kind of relationship), but you make a bad first impression due to SA? How do you get another chance or fix that? __________________ "I feel like a helpless puppet being manipulated in some major scheme."~ Squall Leonhart My avatar is my art...www.myspace.com/illlaymedown

10-24-2009, 10:38 PM	#2 (permalink)
brokensaint Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Halifax, NS Gender: Male Posts: 202	Make a second impression.

10-24-2009, 10:48 PM	#3 (permalink)
Oneiros Status: Temporarily Banned Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Brisbane, Australia Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 87	I tend to think there's a little more at work behind the scenes, something like destiny. If you're meant to get along with someone, you will, but if not, there's nothing you can do about it. This has really helped my anxiety, because I don't stress afterwards if I've made a fool of myself or made a bad impression on someone. It may sound defeatist, but I just think that it wasn't meant to be when this happens. Sometimes people will forget, and give you another chance, but this is not in my control.

10-25-2009, 05:34 AM	#4 (permalink)
Ing Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: United States Gender: Female Age: 19 Posts: 61	Yes. I still can't stop thinking of a first impression I made a few weeks ago. I just didn't really say much. I could've asked more about the person too. I guess next time I get a first impression (or second impression with that other person) i'll try to talk more so I don't seem rude.

10-25-2009, 02:44 PM	#5 (permalink)
fluch Status: in another moment... Join Date: Aug 2009 Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 100	I've often found that first impressions are less important than people seem to make out. I tend not to rely on them at all, since I'm pretty poor at it (making them & forming them of other people...). I'm sure they're important in situations where you only get one shot (e.g. interviews, introducing yourself to a prospective other you might never see again...) but in other situations if you do get a second etc. chance and didn't completely screw up the first then it can be ok. Case in point since I'm so bad at it if you put me in any situation I'll probably gravitate towards people that I won't like & avoid people I might actually relate to (I have no idea why really, but I find it quite pervasive...). In these kind of situations I've often found I can pick up the thread with someone later months after making a bad/neutral impression. If you're around someone for any length of time you might find that their attitude can change, and people are often forgiving. I tend not to worry about one-off situations as much since they're transient. If I'm interested enough in someone to want to make a good impression I probably know them enough to have a second chance.