Originally Posted by LonelyLurker
I'd have to agree that most of the therapists I've seen seem to be more interested in whatever their book says and preserving their ideology than thinking about whether it's actually realistic or helpful (they seem lost if their standard advice doesn't apply to you). That said, I still wouldn't tell someone has else that they shouldn't do it or that they have to.
Out of interest what do you think would make therapy better? Or do you feel it's inherently flawed.
I'm glad you agree. I accept there are people out there who do genuinely benefit from therapy. It does work for some people - but there needs to be an understanding that it doesn't work for everyone... It's not that those it doesn't work for are not trying, horrible, awkward or any other nasty (often accused by medical professionals who are supposed to help) - it's simply not suited for them.
For me personally, I found it barely more useful than a chocolate fireguard. All it boiled down to was someone telling me I'm wrong, I shouldn't think the way I do, I'm to blame for everything and that I need to do more than those who are more socially able. That's was the basic, bottom line. Sorry, but I'm tired of knocking myself down when I know there are forces beyond our control that also heavily contribute towards the problems we face. They simply didn't want to know and closed that line of conversation down. Facing my fears is something I do most days...which is what gives me my problems in the first place. How is doing more of the same thing that causes me grief going to cure me?!
To make therapy better, we're going to have to see therapists that actually listen to us. To sit there and allow us to speak - without interruption unless absolutely necessary. Allow us to finish the point we were making so they have a clearer picture, rather than interrupting half way through. There needs to be an understanding of what we're saying and then work upwards from there. Not being dismissive, telling us what to do (which involves social skills, confidence and no depression) before they offer more help.
At the moment, we see help only being offered once we've reached a certain level. There's no help for those who are stuck at the bottom and need lifting up from there. For instance, imagine you're trapped at the bottom of a 50ft well. Someone throws down a rope that's 30ft long and expects us to leap up to that level before they can pull us up. What's actually needed is a rope that's another 15ft or so long...
I'm not demanding medical professionals accept what we say. All I ask is for a genuine understanding of where we're coming from and then offer advice and help from those understandings - and not from what they have read in textbooks. Without them having the feelings of the sufferer, I don't honestly think we'll see them helping us to that degree. We're expected to do everything alone - but the reason you've gone to seek help in the first place is because you can't do what they say! Ironic, really. That's the whole point of therapy - to seek help and advice on things you can't do. Not to be told to simply "do
" what you can't do.
I feel the only people who can genuinely help are those who have been in our position for many years and somehow managed to overcome it later on in life.