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Old 09-09-2010, 09:16 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default Do people think I'm creepy?

I'm really shy and anxious when I'm around people. Today I was at youth group and no one really talked to me and I felt lonely and like a creepy loser. I am good looking so I've heard I might be perceived as stuck up, or the other option is creepy. What do you think they judged me as?
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Old 09-09-2010, 09:51 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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I'm above average as well, on good days that is. It seems like social anxiety affects my appearance a lot depending on the day. But anyway I feel the exact same way as you! It may be that people think that you think that you are too cool to be there. It is hard to approach attractive people. Think about it: if you see someone who is very good looking just sitting there looking at others with a bored face, what would you think? Would you want to approach them? I think many times, we shouldn't expect people to come up to us. We should say the first word and break the ice.

*sigh* ...Sometimes I wish I were average looking to see if it is really my appearance getting in the way.
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Old 09-09-2010, 10:05 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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You probably don't appear creepy so much as you appear uninterested, closed off, or just generally awkward.
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Old 09-09-2010, 10:20 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Now if you're bobbling your head like that thing in anymouse's avatar, you might be seen as a bit creepy.

Edit: I guess this seems like a random comment now, but it made sense earlier, I swear!
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Old 09-09-2010, 10:56 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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iwillbeaththis, I don't think people think you're creepy. Most likely they just don't know how to approach you because you're so shy. I've heard outgoing people say that they have trouble talking to shy people. I think sometimes our nervous feelings can be detected by others, and that can make them feel nervous as well.
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Old 09-09-2010, 11:55 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Bang on answers IMO.
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Old 09-10-2010, 03:13 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
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As human beings we love reasons. So, basically, you went somewhere and made the assumption that people were not talking to you. You then decided that there had to be a reason for them not talking to you and you then decided to draw on negative ideas about the self and choose the reason that you must be coming off as creepy.

You filtered out that you have no idea about what other people were doing, their motives, the reasons behind their actions or the absence of reasons behind their actions. You filtered out that they may just be in bad moods or need time on their own for some reason. You filtered out that we all observe, assume, interpret and put meaning into things and get it wrong a lot. All to strengthen and conform to a view of the self which may well be something you either believe to be true or fear may be true.

"Outgoing people"? I've had people tell me I'm a really outgoing guy and other people tell me I'm a shy guy and other people tell me I'm somewhere in the middle. That's mainly because (again with the reasons) people change and move depending upon circumstances, internal and external influences etc. No such thing as an "outgoing person" in general. For one thing, lock them in a room and they've got nowhere to go out to. But headspace thinking insists on locking life into science experiment terms where people put other people into cateogiries and try to measure that which moves so fast we can't even see it sometimes.

Such is the power of assumption, belief and beliefs about what other people believe. and the power of a negative belief system informed and created identity construct.
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Old 09-10-2010, 05:10 AM   #8 (permalink)
 
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A lot think I'm stuck up, a few find me creepy. I know just how you feel. The only person that ALMOST gets me is my boyfriend. I've have 1 or 2 friends though that found me to be a normal and sweet person. Society views are OFF these days...
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Old 09-10-2010, 05:44 AM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joinmartin View Post
As human beings we love reasons. So, basically, you went somewhere and made the assumption that people were not talking to you. You then decided that there had to be a reason for them not talking to you and you then decided to draw on negative ideas about the self and choose the reason that you must be coming off as creepy.

You filtered out that you have no idea about what other people were doing, their motives, the reasons behind their actions or the absence of reasons behind their actions. You filtered out that they may just be in bad moods or need time on their own for some reason. You filtered out that we all observe, assume, interpret and put meaning into things and get it wrong a lot. All to strengthen and conform to a view of the self which may well be something you either believe to be true or fear may be true.

"Outgoing people"? I've had people tell me I'm a really outgoing guy and other people tell me I'm a shy guy and other people tell me I'm somewhere in the middle. That's mainly because (again with the reasons) people change and move depending upon circumstances, internal and external influences etc. No such thing as an "outgoing person" in general. For one thing, lock them in a room and they've got nowhere to go out to. But headspace thinking insists on locking life into science experiment terms where people put other people into cateogiries and try to measure that which moves so fast we can't even see it sometimes.

Such is the power of assumption, belief and beliefs about what other people believe. and the power of a negative belief system informed and created identity construct.
Do you realize that this is A LOT to take in. It reads like a texbook designed for established psychologists. Have you ever considered using a more conversational tone? It might be more helpful, if you're trying to help. Now if this is self talk and you're just using this for practice...*shrug*

Not that you asked for it, but that's my suggestion to you.

Anyhoo, OP they may have been thinking any number of things. You probably just didn't appear approachable. People are drawn to friendly people. If you keep going, however, doesn't mean they won't get to know you if you let them.
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Old 09-10-2010, 06:01 AM   #10 (permalink)
 
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I am creepy probably. I have this way of making every situation uncomfortable, I honestly don't think my brain has the same neurotic function as most other people. Also find it pretty hard to talk randomly in situations sometimes where even socially anxious people would feel comfortable. I am certainly a bit off-putting to say the least.
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Old 09-10-2010, 06:57 AM   #11 (permalink)
 
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It sounds like the OP thinks that if someone tells him he wasn't creepy, that somehow everything will be okay. But I don't think anyone can.

I think everyone has times where they come off as creepy...
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Old 09-10-2010, 07:01 AM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by herb the dolphin View Post
It sounds like the OP thinks that if someone tells him he wasn't creepy, that somehow everything will be okay. But I don't think anyone can.

I think everyone has times where they come off as creepy...
What's your point?
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