Social Anxiety Support

XxArmyofOnexX · 11-11-2009, 05:59 PM

I remember back in the old days, when I would distract myself, at that point, didn't even know about SA. Growing up, was still shy, so it's not like time was spent around people all that much. I would spend all day doing things by myself, reading, videogames, watching TV, etc. Sure, I would check facebook, feel depressed a bit, but I never really thought about it. Or if I did, I would just distract myself by doing those things. Now it seems that doesn't work anymore. I'm depressed fairly often, compare myself to others, think I am outnumbered in terms of severity of SA (seems like most of the posters here have only mild SA).

I don't even know where to start to change. For me its just, go to work, come home, have Friday, Saturday and Sunday off, think about how lonely things are... I sleep a lot more now, to make the depression go away, at least for a bit. People here post that they've had a bad day because some friends did something (or boyfriend / girlfriend etc). I feel like I can't even get to that.

What say you? Anyone feel the same way? Any advice?

glarmph · 11-11-2009, 06:18 PM

yes i do. no more distractions. video games was the only thing that holds my attention and its becoming less and less. i can't sleep. i can barely sit for any amout of time, I just pace. there is no happiness. no mood change up and down. every day is terrible. i wish i was dead but i'm still here. it never changes. i don't know how to change it. at this point i don't think i could if i knew how. sorry i can't give you any advice but i know how it feels. and its been like this for a very long time.

layitontheline · 11-11-2009, 06:27 PM

I feel much the same. I try to be a bit positive on here, but in reality I'm a very depressed person. I don't fit in anywhere or in anything. I feel depressed coming on here sometimes because like you said, issues for many people regard their friends or things that I don't even have, so they can't even be issues for me. Right now school is distracting me, but as soon as I'm done, I'm worried things will take a turn for the worse. I have a really bad idea of what my life could be like in the future. It scares me just to think about it

I don't have much advice either, but I know how it feels.

Shadyman · 11-11-2009, 08:38 PM

Hey man I feel the same everyday, but I don't even have the energy to get off my arse and find a job, get a drivers license, and I dropped out of school a year ago, but still I am stuck in time it seems, falling apart everyday, I wake up crying.

At least you have a job, and something to do. Better then me, I haven't had a single job in my life.

tigerpop · 11-11-2009, 09:15 PM

exact same situation here. distractions only work for so long and then i stop to think how much of life has passed me by. days turn into months and months turn into years and it feels like nothing ever gets better. i know i have to change things myself...guess that's just too much pressure for me. it's hard to change because life's become so routine and sometimes i feel like i lack the skills/knowledge/motivation to do anything different.

secretlyshecries · 11-12-2009, 02:13 AM

Oh wow. I feel exactly the same way. I have all the same types of distractions too. TV, the internet in general, games, ect. And those distractions often 'wear off' and then I start feeling a bit depressed and as you said, will compare myself to others. Distracting myself has just become natural to me. Maybe one could call it a coping mechanism. But it doesn't always work so well. Lately it's really hitting me hard; I have no life. I have no real friends. Very little life experience. I've missed out on many, many things. I can see all the possiblities for what could have been and it kills me. It's like I have this other imaginary life I've been living in the back of my mind for years now and in this world, everything is better. It's not a perfect world of course but in my head I'm at least better-adjusted. I imagine that I have friends-- good friends. Maybe a boyfriend. I go out with them on the weekends or whenever else. I have a job that I don't love, but that I can comfortably go to, everyday.

I wish this world was real. I wish I could've enjoyed my teen years. My mum talks to me like they weren't so bad (& my childhood in general) but I think they were the worst years of my life. While some people might think, 'oh, [insert year here], so many good things happened that year. This and this, and that...' Meanwhile I can only remember sitting at the computer all that year. It really is true that the older you get, the faster the years go by. Things are starting to move really quickly now, and yet I feel like my life hasn't even really begun yet. =/

Reading this back, I know that my negativity is a huge problem and I'm working on that. But it can be so hard not to think of what could have been.

mind_games · 11-12-2009, 02:46 AM

The worst feeling was when I'd be really into some game for several weeks/months or w/e and then I'd finally get to the end of it and finish it. And then I'd realize I have no life. Or my favourite tv show ends for the season and I'm left wondering what I'm going to look forward to now. Its such a massive downer.

secretlyshecries · 11-12-2009, 02:48 AM

Quote:

Or my favourite tv show ends for the season and I'm left wondering what I'm going to look forward to now.

Oh god, that is just so me. And then I start feeling really depressed and like I have nothing else to look forward to while it's gone. I mean, how pathetic can I get?

Oneiros · 11-12-2009, 07:11 AM

Yep can definitely relate to this, and particularly your post, secretlyshecries.

What else is there to do, other than distract myself? I don't even know what it means to face my problems, I can't find them. Even if I read a perfect description, what good would it do... within a few minutes I'd have forgotten about it and moved on to something else.

Eh, and they all wear off after a while... the best one I've had was writing music, it's a bit more involved than most distractions and held my attention for a couple of years, but I screwed it up in the end, and now I find it hard to do.

Rarely things will last longer than a year with me. I wish I had hobbies or an occupation that I could maintain, but I always lose interest.

Canadian Brotha · 11-12-2009, 05:51 PM

All my distractions wear thin eventually, the only constant one I have is writing/recording music but it's actually a fairly intensive process to complete an album so I take breaks in between. Besides that I used to use drugs/alcohol but now they just add to my depression so I usually steer clear of them. TV, Films, & the net do their part but like drugs/alcohol the satisfaction becomes less & less so I find my depression in tailspin at the moment, we'll see if I land...

XxArmyofOnexX · 11-12-2009, 11:08 PM

I go to work 3 days of the week. The rest is spent at home lol.

Fuzzy Logic · 11-13-2009, 11:33 AM

Actually, I think this is positive in a way. When it happened to me this summer I found new resolve to confront my problems head on rather than bury myself away in distractions.

VIncymon · 11-13-2009, 05:41 PM

Can't believe I actually thought I would NOT get rejected by my latest crush earlier this week. What was I thinking ? I must have let those so-called distractions give me false optimism...

don't mind me .. I'm just rambling rejected-40mnins ago moron.

Although it clears my mind, there is only work and my hobbies, those are the only things I can trust. I cannot trust people, and I cannot trust love. I will work and draw till I die.

XxArmyofOnexX · 11-14-2009, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzy Logic

Actually, I think this is positive in a way. When it happened to me this summer I found new resolve to confront my problems head on rather than bury myself away in distractions.

I guess in a way this can be good then. If I get sick enough of always being like this, could finally give me that push to really start putting in effort to improve myself. You make a good point, thanks.

11-11-2009, 05:59 PM	#1 (permalink)
XxArmyofOnexX Status: User Requested Permanent Ban Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: NYC Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 1,595	distractions only work for so long... I remember back in the old days, when I would distract myself, at that point, didn't even know about SA. Growing up, was still shy, so it's not like time was spent around people all that much. I would spend all day doing things by myself, reading, videogames, watching TV, etc. Sure, I would check facebook, feel depressed a bit, but I never really thought about it. Or if I did, I would just distract myself by doing those things. Now it seems that doesn't work anymore. I'm depressed fairly often, compare myself to others, think I am outnumbered in terms of severity of SA (seems like most of the posters here have only mild SA). I don't even know where to start to change. For me its just, go to work, come home, have Friday, Saturday and Sunday off, think about how lonely things are... I sleep a lot more now, to make the depression go away, at least for a bit. People here post that they've had a bad day because some friends did something (or boyfriend / girlfriend etc). I feel like I can't even get to that. What say you? Anyone feel the same way? Any advice?

11-11-2009, 06:18 PM	#2 (permalink)
glarmph Status: Hiding in my basement Join Date: May 2009 Location: (Central) Illinois Gender: Male Age: 28 Posts: 334	yes i do. no more distractions. video games was the only thing that holds my attention and its becoming less and less. i can't sleep. i can barely sit for any amout of time, I just pace. there is no happiness. no mood change up and down. every day is terrible. i wish i was dead but i'm still here. it never changes. i don't know how to change it. at this point i don't think i could if i knew how. sorry i can't give you any advice but i know how it feels. and its been like this for a very long time. __________________ Life sucks, then you die.

11-12-2009, 02:46 AM	#7 (permalink)
mind_games Status: Mentor Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Cage #1747 Gender: Male Age: 26 Posts: 7,503	The worst feeling was when I'd be really into some game for several weeks/months or w/e and then I'd finally get to the end of it and finish it. And then I'd realize I have no life. Or my favourite tv show ends for the season and I'm left wondering what I'm going to look forward to now. Its such a massive downer. __________________ \| SucceedSocially.com \|

11-12-2009, 05:51 PM	#10 (permalink)
Canadian Brotha Status: Perpetually Dishevelled Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Over Yonder Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 5,720	All my distractions wear thin eventually, the only constant one I have is writing/recording music but it's actually a fairly intensive process to complete an album so I take breaks in between. Besides that I used to use drugs/alcohol but now they just add to my depression so I usually steer clear of them. TV, Films, & the net do their part but like drugs/alcohol the satisfaction becomes less & less so I find my depression in tailspin at the moment, we'll see if I land... __________________ ~ My Videos ~ My Music ~ ~ Leave It To Reality To Ruin My Day Dreams ~

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11-11-2009, 06:27 PM	#3 (permalink)
layitontheline Status: User Requested Permanent Ban Join Date: Aug 2009 Gender: Female Age: 24 Posts: 3,887	I feel much the same. I try to be a bit positive on here, but in reality I'm a very depressed person. I don't fit in anywhere or in anything. I feel depressed coming on here sometimes because like you said, issues for many people regard their friends or things that I don't even have, so they can't even be issues for me. Right now school is distracting me, but as soon as I'm done, I'm worried things will take a turn for the worse. I have a really bad idea of what my life could be like in the future. It scares me just to think about it I don't have much advice either, but I know how it feels.

11-11-2009, 08:38 PM	#4 (permalink)
Shadyman Status: The New Guy Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Indiana Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 96	Hey man I feel the same everyday, but I don't even have the energy to get off my arse and find a job, get a drivers license, and I dropped out of school a year ago, but still I am stuck in time it seems, falling apart everyday, I wake up crying. At least you have a job, and something to do. Better then me, I haven't had a single job in my life.

11-11-2009, 09:15 PM	#5 (permalink)
tigerpop Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: british columbia Gender: Female Age: 25 Posts: 11	exact same situation here. distractions only work for so long and then i stop to think how much of life has passed me by. days turn into months and months turn into years and it feels like nothing ever gets better. i know i have to change things myself...guess that's just too much pressure for me. it's hard to change because life's become so routine and sometimes i feel like i lack the skills/knowledge/motivation to do anything different.

11-12-2009, 02:13 AM	#6 (permalink)
secretlyshecries Status: In hiding Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Australia Gender: Female Age: 24 Posts: 1,452	Oh wow. I feel exactly the same way. I have all the same types of distractions too. TV, the internet in general, games, ect. And those distractions often 'wear off' and then I start feeling a bit depressed and as you said, will compare myself to others. Distracting myself has just become natural to me. Maybe one could call it a coping mechanism. But it doesn't always work so well. Lately it's really hitting me hard; I have no life. I have no real friends. Very little life experience. I've missed out on many, many things. I can see all the possiblities for what could have been and it kills me. It's like I have this other imaginary life I've been living in the back of my mind for years now and in this world, everything is better. It's not a perfect world of course but in my head I'm at least better-adjusted. I imagine that I have friends-- good friends. Maybe a boyfriend. I go out with them on the weekends or whenever else. I have a job that I don't love, but that I can comfortably go to, everyday. I wish this world was real. I wish I could've enjoyed my teen years. My mum talks to me like they weren't so bad (& my childhood in general) but I think they were the worst years of my life. While some people might think, 'oh, [insert year here], so many good things happened that year. This and this, and that...' Meanwhile I can only remember sitting at the computer all that year. It really is true that the older you get, the faster the years go by. Things are starting to move really quickly now, and yet I feel like my life hasn't even really begun yet. =/ Reading this back, I know that my negativity is a huge problem and I'm working on that. But it can be so hard not to think of what could have been.

11-12-2009, 07:11 AM	#9 (permalink)
Oneiros Status: Permanently Banned Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Brisbane, Australia Gender: Male Age: 27 Posts: 196	Yep can definitely relate to this, and particularly your post, secretlyshecries. What else is there to do, other than distract myself? I don't even know what it means to face my problems, I can't find them. Even if I read a perfect description, what good would it do... within a few minutes I'd have forgotten about it and moved on to something else. Eh, and they all wear off after a while... the best one I've had was writing music, it's a bit more involved than most distractions and held my attention for a couple of years, but I screwed it up in the end, and now I find it hard to do. Rarely things will last longer than a year with me. I wish I had hobbies or an occupation that I could maintain, but I always lose interest.

11-12-2009, 11:08 PM	#11 (permalink)
XxArmyofOnexX Status: User Requested Permanent Ban Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: NYC Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 1,595	I go to work 3 days of the week. The rest is spent at home lol.

11-13-2009, 11:33 AM	#12 (permalink)
Fuzzy Logic Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: United Kingdom, Northern Ireland Gender: Male Age: 26 Posts: 654	Actually, I think this is positive in a way. When it happened to me this summer I found new resolve to confront my problems head on rather than bury myself away in distractions.

11-13-2009, 05:41 PM	#13 (permalink)
VIncymon Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 1,794	Can't believe I actually thought I would NOT get rejected by my latest crush earlier this week. What was I thinking ? I must have let those so-called distractions give me false optimism... don't mind me .. I'm just rambling rejected-40mnins ago moron. Although it clears my mind, there is only work and my hobbies, those are the only things I can trust. I cannot trust people, and I cannot trust love. I will work and draw till I die.