Originally Posted by NotThisAgain
nah the guy is one of the most confident people i know and I doubt he has any anxiety. Its not only the way he speaks but also what he says.
I wouldnt exactly call him popular, hes well know but not really liked by people. Social.. well yea but most of the time hes doing all the talking. Also if you ask him something he will find the most complex answer and talk for 20 min to tell you something that can be told in less than 30seconds. Well what I think it is hes full of himself.
Well if he's not really all that liked by people - at least you have company. It makes me feel better to know that someone who is offensive to me is also disliked by others.
Yeah, it could very well be that he's full of himself. But as I'm sure you know, those type of "show off" people often lack genuine confidence. Deep down, they are often a mass of insecurities - with low, fragile self-esteem.
And still, what may look like "conceit" on the surface may actually be something else - or it may be a mixture of things. Times when it might have looked to others that I was "showing off" intellectually are often times when I felt like I had to "live up" to people's expectations of me - like I was feeling "trapped" in this label and I didn't want to say or do anything to make people say, "We were wrong - she's not as smart as we thought." Or it was the opposite situation - I felt pressure to "prove that I was capable and smart", when I felt like someone didn't think much of my abilities. Or I was putting too much pressure on myself socially - trying too hard not to be dull, trying too hard to come up with something "intelligent" to say, etc. Often the hardest thing to do is to relax and "be yourself", or relax and "let things happen". For one thing, I've thought that "being myself" (whoever that is) is not enough.
Another thing - sometimes people may be "long-winded" because that is the way their minds genuinely operate. It's like they have a thinking/speaking style that just doesn't know how to be concise. Their minds are "inefficient" and, try as they might - they can't quite get to the point, and end up rambling. They think of every detail as being important...they aren't efficient "self-editors".
If this guy has a reputation for being "smart" or "one of the smartest" - maybe he's clinging to that identity for dear-life...he's afraid to be in a situation where he would "let go" of that identity, because it's what gives him self-worth. If someone is known as "the smart one", or "the funny one", or "the gorgeous one" - they can appear to carry that identity too far, by being verbosely intellectual in social situations, or by trying to be funny at inappropriate times, or by wearing makeup while building a Habitat for Humanity house (lol).