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Old 04-02-2011, 02:58 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default Can't stop feeling so worthless

I really don't know what to do about it anymore. I've tried distracting myself, picking up new hobbies, creating things. I exercise. I eat healthy.
But I think my lack of meaningful or close relationships keeps me from ever feeling fulfilled.
I basically don't have a social life anymore. I go to school and come home. When I don't have school, I try to fill up my days doing errands or going to cafes or libraries to study. But that's all I ever do. I don't do anything "fun" or anything that involves other people. The few friends I do have I rarely see. They never invite me out anywhere, though it's not like I ever call them up or anything either. It just feels like we don't have much in common anymore, like they wouldn't want to hang out if I asked...

Whenever I try to reach out and make new friends, it never works out. We don't connect. Maybe I creep them out. I don't know. But the fact that the few times I've tried and it hasn't worked out, just makes me feel really deficient, incapable...

I have a ton of homework to do this weekend and I can't focus because I'm so overwhelmed with these negative feelings. I feel worthless.
This is so pathetic. Why can't I just be strong and do the work I have to do? Instead I'm so needy or co-dependent or something, that I've just been sitting at my kitchen table crying, ignoring the pile of homework I have. I've had a pattern of not doing well in school because of episodes like this. I really hate myself. I don't know how to deal with the loneliness anymore.
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Old 04-02-2011, 03:03 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Everyone needs someone in their life that they can count on. As long as you are keep actively trying to find someone you can connect with, eventually things will turn out better. Sure there will be times when you are feeling quite low, but there is always something or someone out there that you will find that will make it all worth the wait.
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Old 04-02-2011, 03:03 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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help someone
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Old 04-02-2011, 03:09 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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i have the same life as u
i barely have any friends i dont hang out with people anymore and all i do is go to school, come home and do h/w, do random stuff, then go to sleep, and then crappy school again. Its like torture and its a repetitive cycle..
I cant meet people either i never know what to say since my SA always takes over.
My.life.sucks
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Old 04-02-2011, 03:11 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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how do we fix this
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Old 04-02-2011, 03:13 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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meds, exposure, or some miracle
dam it i wish i was just born normal
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Old 04-02-2011, 03:18 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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i think...
meda-trying to fix a mindset/thought process issue with PILLS, how's that gonna work

exposure-can work but alot of the time it's just a miserable experience that makes you feel 10x worse after, than before you did it

miracle-sounds good
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Old 04-02-2011, 03:31 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rdrr View Post
Everyone needs someone in their life that they can count on. As long as you are keep actively trying to find someone you can connect with, eventually things will turn out better. Sure there will be times when you are feeling quite low, but there is always something or someone out there that you will find that will make it all worth the wait.
Thanks. Yeah, I guess when I get into these moods it feels like it will always be this way, and trying to keep going about my life, or doing things like homework and leaving my house, just seem pointless. But I guess I just I have to... keep going... maybe someone will eventually "get" me. Hm.

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help someone
This is pretty broad. I wouldn't know how to go about finding someone to help. I like the idea though. I feel entirely too focused on my own stupid inner turmoil, maybe I need to step outside of myself for a bit.

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meds, exposure, or some miracle
Meds... I've been on SSRIs before, I always felt they did more harm then good. I either couldn't tell if they were making a difference, or they made me feel MUCH worse. Meh.
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Old 04-02-2011, 03:35 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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im thinking about group therapy.
U meet with a bunch of people with the same problem as u and talk about it in a group. Apprantly it is very helpful.
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Old 04-02-2011, 03:47 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Orchid20 View Post
I really don't know what to do about it anymore. I've tried distracting myself, picking up new hobbies, creating things. I exercise. I eat healthy.
But I think my lack of meaningful or close relationships keeps me from ever feeling fulfilled.
I basically don't have a social life anymore. I go to school and come home. When I don't have school, I try to fill up my days doing errands or going to cafes or libraries to study. But that's all I ever do. I don't do anything "fun" or anything that involves other people. The few friends I do have I rarely see. They never invite me out anywhere, though it's not like I ever call them up or anything either. It just feels like we don't have much in common anymore, like they wouldn't want to hang out if I asked...

Whenever I try to reach out and make new friends, it never works out. We don't connect. Maybe I creep them out. I don't know. But the fact that the few times I've tried and it hasn't worked out, just makes me feel really deficient, incapable...

I have a ton of homework to do this weekend and I can't focus because I'm so overwhelmed with these negative feelings. I feel worthless.
This is so pathetic. Why can't I just be strong and do the work I have to do? Instead I'm so needy or co-dependent or something, that I've just been sitting at my kitchen table crying, ignoring the pile of homework I have. I've had a pattern of not doing well in school because of episodes like this. I really hate myself. I don't know how to deal with the loneliness anymore.
You are not needy or codependent , it's all biology to want close relationships and that's how humanity has survived for years and years, we are connected in a way that even if we are physically apart our minds yearn to share moments together because it's only natural and healthy to do so.

You are doing the right thing to fill the holes with activities, hobbies and so but the lack of feed back is killing you. That is a hole that innanimate objects and ideas cannot fill, human energy is unique in the sense that it will never be replaced.You are not pathetic for realizing that .

When you stop to do your school work it is your subconscious trying to make space where a relationship needs to be taking place, but there's not so depression is sent through your body as a reaction to let you know and take action.

A successful action taking plan begin with balance , not so much externally though. You already said you are doing things, trying to keep busy but the real balance starts inside. Always write what you really want out of life, engage in positive conversation with yourself about your real goals and not the goals of SA for your life, meditate, look for reasons to feel great instead of down.



Little by little it can be done,no pressure..
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Old 04-02-2011, 04:46 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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I think sometimes people assume that they want friendships in their lives because they are told that. I've done it all--I've had friends and been places and experienced a lot of things but it ain't that much different from sitting at home and enjoying my solitude. When I go to school and work I feel as though I'm wasting my time, but yet when I'm not doing those things for a while I miss them and feel bored.

For me, life is best striving for something new constantly, whether that be an education, friends, work, music, catching up on TV shows, or sleeping. I'm always happiest when I shoot for something new, and preferably in short-term sessions.

To be completely honest, the internet has been the most enjoyable thing in my life since I could remember.
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Old 04-02-2011, 06:25 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Yeah i know exactly how that feels. I lose motivation in most aspects of my life at times due to my disatisfaction with my social life / relationships. I waste time doing.. nothing.... when i should be doing important things, because i'm too stuck in negativity and loneliness.

No advice for you, but, i know how it is. :/
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Old 04-02-2011, 07:40 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Orchid20 View Post
I really don't know what to do about it anymore. I've tried distracting myself, picking up new hobbies, creating things. I exercise. I eat healthy.
But I think my lack of meaningful or close relationships keeps me from ever feeling fulfilled.
I basically don't have a social life anymore. I go to school and come home. When I don't have school, I try to fill up my days doing errands or going to cafes or libraries to study. But that's all I ever do. I don't do anything "fun" or anything that involves other people. The few friends I do have I rarely see. They never invite me out anywhere, though it's not like I ever call them up or anything either. It just feels like we don't have much in common anymore, like they wouldn't want to hang out if I asked...

Whenever I try to reach out and make new friends, it never works out. We don't connect. Maybe I creep them out. I don't know. But the fact that the few times I've tried and it hasn't worked out, just makes me feel really deficient, incapable...

I have a ton of homework to do this weekend and I can't focus because I'm so overwhelmed with these negative feelings. I feel worthless.
This is so pathetic. Why can't I just be strong and do the work I have to do? Instead I'm so needy or co-dependent or something, that I've just been sitting at my kitchen table crying, ignoring the pile of homework I have. I've had a pattern of not doing well in school because of episodes like this. I really hate myself. I don't know how to deal with the loneliness anymore.
Continue to stay in college, that is a positive step toward meeting new people and try to join some clubs on campus. You are young so you have time to meet people and make friends. If you work, also try to make friends at work also.
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Old 04-02-2011, 09:11 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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I feel exactly the same and can relate to all of that. I've done volunteering to help people and not focus so much on myself, but it's only a short term happiness and then I'm back to thinking about what's wrong with my life.
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Old 04-02-2011, 10:12 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paragon View Post
Yeah i know exactly how that feels. I lose motivation in most aspects of my life at times due to my disatisfaction with my social life / relationships. I waste time doing.. nothing.... when i should be doing important things, because i'm too stuck in negativity and loneliness.

No advice for you, but, i know how it is. :/
This is exactly how i feel and you put it in words perfectly. I feel like i need to establish a social life in order to do social things which prevents me to even engage in social situation. A catch 22? So in the end i don't do anything. If people ask me to hangout i would say no because I feel like i will be a boring person and have nothing to say or contribute but at the same time i want to socialize.
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