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Old 04-27-2008, 12:18 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default Can't stop dwelling on mistakes, seriously impossible.

It is near impossible for me to stop dwelling on mistakes I make, be it school or in a sport. If I make a mistake, it sticks with me for days, weeks, months, and sometimes even up to a year. It ruins my life. Why the constant dwelling? People always say, "Just put it behind you." Literally, it is almost impossible for me to do so. Today I played pretty badly in soccer. I made some good plays, and yet the bad plays are sticking with me like krazy glue in my brain. If I mess up on the ball, I usually get really upset and curse under my breath. If I make a bad pass, I apologize. If I get a bad grade in school, I feel like the teacher dislikes me. I feel like that bad grade will never be forgotten, and that even good grades cannot make up for it. These sorts of happenings make me very upset, resulting in me standing in the shower for almost twenty minutes thinking about all I have done wrong. When I try to stop, it rushes back in. It's like trying to stand on a boogie board in a pool. No matter how hard you try to push it down, it always pops back up in the end.
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Old 04-27-2008, 02:23 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: Can't stop dwelling on mistakes, seriously impossible.

We all rue the odd mistake from time to time. Try to put the past behind you as best you can and try to learn from your mistakes, that's all you can do.
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Old 04-27-2008, 03:38 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: Can't stop dwelling on mistakes, seriously impossible.

You're trying to be perfect and you have to realize that you aren't.
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Old 04-27-2008, 03:57 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: Can't stop dwelling on mistakes, seriously impossible.

I can relate. Basketball is a big part of my life. I play w/people every Friday and played horribly this past Fri. I literally went 1-15 in the first 4 games. Thing is, w/every shot I missed, I was even more determined to "prove" to myself and everyone else that I didn't suck. I ended up forcing things and taking stupid shots. A few people were obviously annoyed w/me. But then I calmed down. I looked at it objectively. I realized that most people considered me to be a good player and were surprised that I wasn't playing like myself. It wasn't just that I was having an off day, I was being a ball hog. In the final game I scored the majority of my team's points. I even ended up laughing about my shots before.

It has taken over a year of CBT, relaxation, meditation and journaling to get to this point (and even now I have setbacks) but you can change. Dwelling on the negative is a pattern and a habit, not just something you do from time to time. It's gonna take a lot of work to change your thoughts.
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Old 04-27-2008, 08:19 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: Can't stop dwelling on mistakes, seriously impossible.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SADFighter
I can relate. Basketball is a big part of my life. I play w/people every Friday and played horribly this past Fri. I literally went 1-15 in the first 4 games. Thing is, w/every shot I missed, I was even more determined to "prove" to myself and everyone else that I didn't suck. I ended up forcing things and taking stupid shots. A few people were obviously annoyed w/me. But then I calmed down. I looked at it objectively. I realized that most people considered me to be a good player and were surprised that I wasn't playing like myself. It wasn't just that I was having an off day, I was being a ball hog. In the final game I scored the majority of my team's points. I even ended up laughing about my shots before.

It has taken over a year of CBT, relaxation, meditation and journaling to get to this point (and even now I have setbacks) but you can change. Dwelling on the negative is a pattern and a habit, not just something you do from time to time. It's gonna take a lot of work to change your thoughts.
Good to see someone can relate with me on this. I understand fully that I am going to have work hard at changing this, it's really ruining my self-esteem.
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