Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Stark hysterical naked-land
can't understand myself or anything else
**Warning, this is a personal rant **
I'm not expecting anyone to really read this, but I really just can't understand myself, sa/generalized anxiety/depression, and what's been happening to me for the past two years. A lot of **** has happened in two years. Severe depression, major anxiety disorder, stopping college after finishing just two years with no real major declared, did a lot of nothing for one year, thoughts of self-harm, no job, and no friends, not even a real support system. I guess I really shot myself in the foot this time.
The reason why I'm frustrated is because my brother says I have no personality, even he can't figure me out. That really hurts. He doesn't even try to understand anything about me, he just assumes that I have some kind of disorder like autism or Asperger's syndrome yeah, like I am mentally disabled meaning I can't progress beyond a certain point in intellectual/social skills and whatnot. Okay, when you don't understand something why do you have to assume stuff about it?
It's not like I know how to be easygoing and just automatically have a personality of my own. I've just never had a real personality.. which is why I just don't fit in with society and don't get along with most therapists. Maybe I'm just too picky or have a rigid personality that doesn't change. Maybe I'm just not likeable.