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Old 09-11-2011, 10:06 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default Called Creepy

I've been told I'm creepy a couple of times in the last 8 months.

It hurts. A year ago, I graduated college and I was never called creepy in the four years I was there - at least, I never heard it directly from people.

Is this the real world?

I can't get over it. I have quit two full time jobs in the last year because i couldn't deal with it. Right now I'm sequestered in my sister's house (cause I can't afford to rent my own place) and only go out one day a week.

My family is calling me a professional couch potato because they don't understand; they think I don't want to work but, truthfully, I want to. I feel like a failure; I don't know how to interact and can't support myself.

What are some creepy behaviors?
If I know what it is that I'm doing wrong then I can change it.

Oh, I'm a 22 year old genderqueer female.
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Old 09-11-2011, 10:53 AM   #2 (permalink)
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IDK... creepy is typically more something leveled at guys who can't take a hint that a woman isn't interested in him, but creepy can be a lot of things and it can be different things to different people. Trying to monopolize someone's time can be creepy because clingy behavior in adults often seems creepy. Following total strangers is usually considered creepy. If you are too nervous to explain why you are acting strangely that can be creepy. Acting strangely really depends upon the context of the situation. Some people consider individuals who are too quiet to be creepy because they don't know what is going on in their head.

The list of behaviors that can be considered creepy can be very long. Did you quit said jobs because you couldn't stand being called creepy ever once in a while? Not clear. There may be other issues you are dealing with.
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Old 09-11-2011, 11:08 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
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I associate creepy with stalkers. Unless you're stalking people on your one day out a week I seriously doubt you're creepy.
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Old 09-11-2011, 12:36 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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creepy can be doing anything out of the norm.
like for example, collecting expensive dolls.

i'm creepy as ****.
i don't give a **** what people think about my dolls.

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Old 09-11-2011, 02:27 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Its their problem. Please don't make it yours.

As for how to be less 'creepy', if that's what you are, which I doubt. Think about things other people do that would make yourself feel uncomfortable and try to be careful about doing similar things around other people. Beyond that, really don't worry about it. Some people will accept you, some people won't. Two or three people calling you 'creepy' doesn't make you so, nor do they represent what any of the hundreds of other people you encounter are going to think about you. All it means is you've unfortunately met a couple of people that are particularly inclined to pass arbitrary judgments on others.

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creepy can be doing anything out of the norm.
like for example, collecting expensive dolls.

i'm creepy as ****.
i don't give a **** what people think about my dolls.

Well, I don't know if you're creepy or not but if you're referring to those kind of fancy dress dolls that have the glass spooky life-like eyeballs, those things are legitimately terrifying. I think the word applies.
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Old 09-11-2011, 02:31 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by josen View Post
creepy can be doing anything out of the norm.
like for example, collecting expensive dolls.

i'm creepy as ****.
i don't give a **** what people think about my dolls.

I think the dolls are creepy but not usually the collectors. In fact, I suggested putting a bunch of those up once for a spooky halloween party.
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Old 09-11-2011, 02:41 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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lol!

oh man, you guys are hilarious.
i collect blythe dolls. they're cute and creepy.
what's wrong with creepy?
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Old 09-11-2011, 02:49 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Intellectually, I know it should be impossible for them to come to life and murder me. In my bones however, I know that's exactly what's going to happen.
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Old 09-11-2011, 02:59 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
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Intellectually, I know it should be impossible for them to come to life and murder me. In my bones however, I know that's exactly what's going to happen.
lmfao!
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Old 09-11-2011, 03:05 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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I told one of my friends recently that I read every post on his facebook wall. He called me creepy. I said, well I personally would be flattered if someone wanted to know me that much.
I like to think that comment boosted his ego a bit.

I think that people with SA tend to do things differently then the 'norm' so it is perceived as creepy to others. I always over analyze conversations and reactions and such. I could definitely see how someone could call that creepy.

Maybe you tried to make a joke and someone found it creepy instead? That has definitely happened to me...

Oh and the same guy thinks I am creepy for having my AIM convos saved. I told him that is a default. I did not mention that I like to reread it sometimes. Because I have a huge crush on him.
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Old 09-11-2011, 03:58 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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what does genderqueer mean?
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Old 09-11-2011, 05:42 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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I get that too
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Old 09-11-2011, 06:59 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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why exactly do they call you creepy? ehhh try and ignore, believe me I know how it is hard I have been called hurtful things too, but that is the only thing I do.
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Old 09-11-2011, 07:37 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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Sorry for all the typing, this has been really cathartic getting all my concerns out there.

Quote:
what does genderqueer mean?
Genderqueer is someone who doesn't fit the gender binary male/female. It is a large topic so you should wiki it. For me, I'm kind of genderfluid; I was born female but can easily pass as a male. I enjoy expressing the masculine and feminine sides of myself

I think that's probably one of the reasons I get called creepy, people just don't understand how someone can so easily flow between masculine and feminine.

Quote:
Trying to monopolize someone's time can be creepy because clingy behavior in adults often seems creepy. Following total strangers is usually considered creepy. If you are too nervous to explain why you are acting strangely that can be creepy. Acting strangely really depends upon the context of the situation. Some people consider individuals who are too quiet to be creepy because they don't know what is going on in their head.

The list of behaviors that can be considered creepy can be very long. Did you quit said jobs because you couldn't stand being called creepy ever once in a while? Not clear. There may be other issues you are dealing with.
I'm very introverted and therefore very quiet so maybe that contributed to it. I was very nervous at both of the jobs trying to make a good impression that people wondered about me; and I was probably a little clingy because I've lost most of my social network since I graduated.

I left the first job because I was tired of the bullying, although, in hindsight I could have just transferred between work sites. There was another girl at my the work site I was assigned who had been bullied for a long time because she supposedly didn't pull her weight. I guess I was fresh meat but eventually it got to me. The job was long distance from my immediate family and I decided the pay and benefits weren't enough for me to continue.
I immediately found my second job just a half hour from my sister's house. It was smallish and I was still a bit devastated from having left the previous job. I'm very sensitive and felt like I really mangled my first job - that I should have pushed through all my feelings and the minor case of depression I had. The second job was with a company with an extremely high turnover rate and I figured out why after a few months there. The company was extremely disorganized/inefficient and the boss/owner was always picking a fight with all her subordinates. Fit every characteristic of a toxic workplace. When a couple of rumors got back to me - one of which being that I was creepy - I once again couldn't deal with it and had to leave. Granted, the way this company operated the more senior staff used gossip to force people down and out but I was absolutely hurt that the same adjective was used to describe me.

I think ya'll are right though and I just need to ignore the name-calling when it comes up and focus hard on not causing anyone to be uncomfortable.

I'm interviewing for a lab tech job tomorrow and I wanted to figure out if there was anything I'm doing wrong that I could correct before it became a problem. This is my dream job and I'll be making the equivalent of my last two salaries combined.
It seems like Eleanor Roosevelt knew something I don't: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Thanks for all your help!
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Old 09-11-2011, 07:40 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by creep
Intellectually, I know it should be impossible for them to come to life and murder me. In my bones however, I know that's exactly what's going to happen.

lmfao!
You'll are hilarious by the way.
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Old 09-11-2011, 08:21 PM   #16 (permalink)
 
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I still don't get it. You're a female but you act like either a guy or a girl at any given time? Do you still have breasts? Do you take hormones? etc. etc..

I think people might call you creepy just because they're ignorant/stupid and don't understand you...and don't have the common sense to just treat you like a normal person. The only way to combat that is just to show love to everyone. Just smile, laugh it off. Over time, they'll start to realize, hey - this is just a normal person, let me see if I can understand her/his situation better.
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Old 09-11-2011, 09:10 PM   #17 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by creep View Post
Intellectually, I know it should be impossible for them to come to life and murder me. In my bones however, I know that's exactly what's going to happen.
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Old 09-11-2011, 09:24 PM   #18 (permalink)
 
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I think the genderqueer thing is off-putting for some people. They are confused by it and they choose to express their confusion the wrong way - by being hurtful. We live in a growing society where untraditional sexual orientations are being more and more accepted. Don't let a few haters get you down.

Also, judging from your profile picture, you are a terrifying giant spider!!!
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