Sorry for all the typing, this has been really cathartic getting all my concerns out there.
what does genderqueer mean?
Genderqueer is someone who doesn't fit the gender binary male/female. It is a large topic so you should wiki it. For me, I'm kind of genderfluid; I was born female but can easily pass as a male. I enjoy expressing the masculine and feminine sides of myself
I think that's probably one of the reasons I get called creepy, people just don't understand how someone can so easily flow between masculine and feminine.
Trying to monopolize someone's time can be creepy because clingy behavior in adults often seems creepy. Following total strangers is usually considered creepy. If you are too nervous to explain why you are acting strangely that can be creepy. Acting strangely really depends upon the context of the situation. Some people consider individuals who are too quiet to be creepy because they don't know what is going on in their head.
The list of behaviors that can be considered creepy can be very long. Did you quit said jobs because you couldn't stand being called creepy ever once in a while? Not clear. There may be other issues you are dealing with.
I'm very introverted and therefore very quiet so maybe that contributed to it. I was very nervous at both of the jobs trying to make a good impression that people wondered about me; and I was probably a little clingy because I've lost most of my social network since I graduated.
I left the first job because I was tired of the bullying, although, in hindsight I could have just transferred between work sites. There was another girl at my the work site I was assigned who had been bullied for a long time because she supposedly didn't pull her weight. I guess I was fresh meat but eventually it got to me. The job was long distance from my immediate family and I decided the pay and benefits weren't enough for me to continue.
I immediately found my second job just a half hour from my sister's house. It was smallish and I was still a bit devastated from having left the previous job. I'm very sensitive and felt like I really mangled my first job - that I should have pushed through all my feelings and the minor case of depression I had. The second job was with a company with an extremely high turnover rate and I figured out why after a few months there. The company was extremely disorganized/inefficient and the boss/owner was always picking a fight with all her subordinates. Fit every characteristic of a toxic workplace. When a couple of rumors got back to me - one of which being that I was creepy - I once again couldn't deal with it and had to leave. Granted, the way this company operated the more senior staff used gossip to force people down and out but I was absolutely hurt that the same adjective was used to describe me.
I think ya'll are right though and I just need to ignore the name-calling when it comes up and focus hard on not causing anyone to be uncomfortable.
I'm interviewing for a lab tech job tomorrow and I wanted to figure out if there was anything I'm doing wrong that I could correct before it became a problem. This is my dream job and I'll be making the equivalent of my last two salaries combined.
It seems like Eleanor Roosevelt knew something I don't: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Thanks for all your help!