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Old 06-24-2011, 09:31 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Unhappy Born with anxiety

I'm sooooo sick of it!!!!!!!!!! I'm 14 and my whole life I've had 3 friends. The first one moved away, 2nd one skipped a grade and hangs out with other kids now, and the 3rd one has been my best freind for the past 7 years but she's ditching me for someone I considered an aquiantiance. I'm terrified of EVERYTHING, public speaking, shaking someone's hand, talking to someone.
I HATE genetics!!!! why can't I just make a couple of friends so I'm not sooo alone all the time? Can anyone help me? Or does anyone at least feel the same?
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Old 06-24-2011, 11:06 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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I wish I could help! but yeah a lot of us here do feel the same way.
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Old 06-24-2011, 11:19 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Genetics is cruel and screws over random people for life, there is nothing you can do about it
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Old 06-24-2011, 11:24 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by CleverUsername View Post
Genetics is cruel and screws over random people for life, there is nothing you can do about it
that's not true, lots of people overcome SA. there's no guarantee you will but as long as you don't give up, there is hope.
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Old 06-25-2011, 12:16 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CleverUsername View Post
Genetics is cruel and screws over random people for life, there is nothing you can do about it
genetics my bottom! being raised by two annoying worriers that's what screwed me.
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Old 06-25-2011, 06:18 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luffy View Post
that's not true, lots of people overcome SA. there's no guarantee you will but as long as you don't give up, there is hope.
I don't think I'll ever overcome it. I've tried so many things and will keep going along until I leave the earth.

Depression and anxiety have plagued many of us. Working in tandem.

I do know however they aren't permanent and are just tendencies. So learning to work with it is the best option.

It's hard though. As a man it's doubly hard. It's just the way it is. I have succumbed to not wanting kids for simple fact of not causing any harm to their upbringing viagenetics or my own SA and depression tendencies.
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Old 06-25-2011, 07:04 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
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The genetic argument is complete bogus.It can convince someone its impossible to change or that there is something effectively wrong with them so whatever the problem may be, it can never go away and only be managed for the rest of that persons life.

I've seen the worst of people change completely.Anxiety may be all you have ever known but YOU ARE capable of changing. We all have the energy,the intelligence and the capacity to do so, its just deciding where you want to put that effort.There is nothing wrong with you man.
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Old 06-25-2011, 07:58 AM   #8 (permalink)
 
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The genetic argument is complete bogus.It can convince someone its impossible to change or that there is something effectively wrong with them so whatever the problem may be, it can never go away and only be managed for the rest of that persons life.

I've seen the worst of people change completely.Anxiety may be all you have ever known but YOU ARE capable of changing. We all have the energy,the intelligence and the capacity to do so, its just deciding where you want to put that effort.There is nothing wrong with you man.
With respect. I have made an effort. I travelled overseas by myself at 15. Been to hundreds of sports events, parties, outings, bars halfway around the world myself, therapy, group therapy, meds, counselling, girlfriends, etc etc etc.

The feeling of not "feeling totally free" even though I try to shake it off and express myself, the feeling is that something's not right.

Things people say I dwell on, things I say and conversations I replay over my head. I come home and rate my performance. I care what people think.

All this stuff. Fragile confidence and self esteem and feeling unassertive (when I probably am more than I think) and feeling inadequate is always there. In periods it might not be but any interaction or event can trigger it off.

I'm convinced it's a genetic component either that or some serious hardwired experiences from infancy and early childhood.

That stuff has been nigh on impossible to overcome for me. CBT did nohing for me whatsoever.

I would lve to know how to hardwire my perceptions and be more positive and stuff. I just default to be overly comparing myself to others and just being so negative and all that.

I'm at the point where I'm sick of trying. It's not like I can just flick a switch and everything's all gravy.

If this is all my upbringing andy
parents innocent fault, well I can't turn back time.

What shall I do? Pack my bags and travel the world? Go
Skydiving 10 times? Go to a nightclub every night for a year?

What's all that gonna do?

Maybe just living with it and saying **** it, this is how it is. Oh well, let me stumble and stutter my way through life with all it's ups and downs and wait till I die.

I'm sure many who read this can attest. Its a miracle to be alive still and not taken my life all these years. Through all the times of depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, avoidance. Many others would've felt the pain too much to bear. Will that day ever come for me? Who knows but I made a pact with myself that I'm not going to try to take my life no matter how heavy the depression gets. Trust me it's been heavy at times.
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Old 06-25-2011, 08:43 AM   #9 (permalink)
 
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I understand that man,its not easy at all but i think we all just need the right approach.I used to be practically psychotic from drug abuse and was generally very depressed for a good 5-6 years, if i can break through the main barriers there i know i can do more.

My very core beliefs,identity from childhood are that of pain and an extremely low self esteem and obviously things build up reinforcing those values of yourself.Its been with me my whole life and although its difficult to change your very core identity i know it can be done.Whether it happens overnight or in 60 years isn't my concern, my concern is to stop suffering.
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Old 06-25-2011, 10:25 AM   #10 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hamtown View Post
I understand that man,its not easy at all but i think we all just need the right approach.I used to be practically psychotic from drug abuse and was generally very depressed for a good 5-6 years, if i can break through the main barriers there i know i can do more.

My very core beliefs,identity from childhood are that of pain and an extremely low self esteem and obviously things build up reinforcing those values of yourself.Its been with me my whole life and although its difficult to change your very core identity i know it can be done.Whether it happens overnight or in 60 years isn't my concern, my concern is to stop suffering.
I hear ya man. Last paragraph I can very much relate.
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