Originally Posted by Hamtown
The genetic argument is complete bogus.It can convince someone its impossible to change or that there is something effectively wrong with them so whatever the problem may be, it can never go away and only be managed for the rest of that persons life.
I've seen the worst of people change completely.Anxiety may be all you have ever known but YOU ARE capable of changing. We all have the energy,the intelligence and the capacity to do so, its just deciding where you want to put that effort.There is nothing wrong with you man.
With respect. I have made an effort. I travelled overseas by myself at 15. Been to hundreds of sports events, parties, outings, bars halfway around the world myself, therapy, group therapy, meds, counselling, girlfriends, etc etc etc.
The feeling of not "feeling totally free" even though I try to shake it off and express myself, the feeling is that something's not right.
Things people say I dwell on, things I say and conversations I replay over my head. I come home and rate my performance. I care what people think.
All this stuff. Fragile confidence and self esteem and feeling unassertive (when I probably am more than I think) and feeling inadequate is always there. In periods it might not be but any interaction or event can trigger it off.
I'm convinced it's a genetic component either that or some serious hardwired experiences from infancy and early childhood.
That stuff has been nigh on impossible to overcome for me. CBT did nohing for me whatsoever.
I would lve to know how to hardwire my perceptions and be more positive and stuff. I just default to be overly comparing myself to others and just being so negative and all that.
I'm at the point where I'm sick of trying. It's not like I can just flick a switch and everything's all gravy.
If this is all my upbringing andy
parents innocent fault, well I can't turn back time.
What shall I do? Pack my bags and travel the world? Go
Skydiving 10 times? Go to a nightclub every night for a year?
What's all that gonna do?
Maybe just living with it and saying **** it, this is how it is. Oh well, let me stumble and stutter my way through life with all it's ups and downs and wait till I die.
I'm sure many who read this can attest. Its a miracle to be alive still and not taken my life all these years. Through all the times of depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, avoidance. Many others would've felt the pain too much to bear. Will that day ever come for me? Who knows but I made a pact with myself that I'm not going to try to take my life no matter how heavy the depression gets. Trust me it's been heavy at times.