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-   -   Being quiet and shy around family and friends (http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/being-quiet-and-shy-around-family-and-friends-622530/)

Chil 09-09-2013 03:53 AM

Being quiet and shy around family and friends
 
Any one else like this? I dread when I find out we're going to other family members houses, and when family members come to visit our house I just want to sit in my room until their gone but I can't because 'it's rude' so I end up sitting there not saying anything, it's sad because if you can't be 'normal' around your family then who can you be normal around.

Right now I am pretending to my best friend that my phone is broken so I don't have to talk to her, I don't even know why I'm doing it, in one of those moods where I wanna bury my head in the sand and stay there. :bash

jdeere7930 09-09-2013 04:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chil (Post 1066550402)
Any one else like this? I dread when I find out we're going to other family members houses, and when family members come to visit our house I just want to sit in my room until their gone but I can't because 'it's rude' so I end up sitting there not saying anything, it's sad because if you can't be 'normal' around your family then who can you be normal around.

Right now I am pretending to my best friend that my phone is broken so I don't have to talk to her, I don't even know why I'm doing it, in one of those moods where I wanna bury my head in the sand and stay there. :bash

I know what you mean , I'm exactly the same. With exception of my sister ,parents and two cousins and I have no idea why, this isn't helped by the fact I have a massive family, worst times are at big family events like weddings etc...

e200e 09-09-2013 05:30 AM

Yeah im quiet with my mom my dad and my 3 brothers for some reason I talk to my one brother a lot we get a long well. As far as extended family I barely know my cousins uncles aunts I see them like once or twice a year. When companys over ill usually greet them and hide in my room whole time. Im not normal around my family either I hide every about me. I usually just tell you guys haha. If you still wana use your phone and not talk to anybody you can use airplane mode I think it disables internet but if you wana use your phone as a clock or alarm or games or anything like that it comes in handy. Your not alone my friend.

tehuti88 09-09-2013 04:50 PM

I'm quiet around most family as we don't interact much, and I don't have much in common with them, and I know for a fact they consider me strange, so they may as well be strangers to me. :/

I don't have friends to socialize with, but if I've been out of touch with a friend for a long time (speaking from past experience only), when we meet up again I'm painfully shy and have to warm to them...when my former best friend came to visit me after moving away I was really shy around her at first.

Nowadays the only friends I have are online. And guess what? I'm terrified of even e-mailing them. ;_; It's utterly stupid, they've never given me reason to fear them at all; one of them I've even met in person twice and had fun. But for some reason, keeping in regular touch is extremely difficult, and I go for months before replying. So far she puts up with me though I don't see why she does. ;_; My anxiety makes me a crappy friend. It's extremely frustrating that I never get over the terror.

guitarmatt 09-09-2013 04:53 PM

I know how you feel. I'm the same way. Then I feel guilty and worry that I was rude

ineverwipe 09-09-2013 05:32 PM

Quote:

Right now I am pretending to my best friend that my phone is broken so I don't have to talk to her, I don't even know why I'm doing it, in one of those moods where I wanna bury my head in the sand and stay there. :bash
I do this all the time

Vulpes91 09-09-2013 07:09 PM

Sure I am. Normally to get away from them, and not to be rude as you say, I usually watch over the kids and play with them (if it is at my house I open my room to the kids to play Lego or the Xbox). I'd much rather to that than sit at the table for X amount of hours hours saying little to nothing.

harletta 09-09-2013 07:17 PM

I have to admit that in the past a few people have tried to get to know me better but I had to urge to be alone so I never really bothered with them. But that was years ago now, I hope they didn't think that I didn't like them. Don't know if I'd have really made any friends out of it but it I should've tried at least.

Melodies0fLife 09-09-2013 11:00 PM

You arent the only one; I get this way too, especially around my family's friends/acquaintances. I act very disinterested and I avoid them as much as possible, usually by hiding in my room. If we run into them while out somewhere, I would wander away from the crowd. But most of the time, my brother's friends visit the house which usually means no dinner for me. I can't even go outside to cook/pack lunch for the next day so I usually have to buy lunch instead. Hate it so much when strangers visit... It's sad but I can't help it. If I make enough money to live in an apartment by myself, I would be so free to do anything I want by myself... :( Here, I feel trapped and unable to express myself.

invisiblegirl82 09-10-2013 02:54 AM

Hi, I completely understand how you feel. I isolate myself from family and distance myself from friends so that I don't have to meet/talk to them too much. I used to think it was really strange that I felt worse with people I knew well than when I met people for the first time. I think it is because there are expectations of me. When I bump into someone I know unexpectedly I get really embarrassed and cant think of anything to say and when I go out for a meal with family/friends even though I have known them for years I don't say a thing and feel invisible. I feel like this is getting worse not better and not sure how to help myself. It helps knowing im not the only one though, glad I found this forum x

Todd99 09-10-2013 03:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chil (Post 1066550402)
Any one else like this? I dread when I find out we're going to other family members houses, and when family members come to visit our house I just want to sit in my room until their gone but I can't because 'it's rude' so I end up sitting there not saying anything, it's sad because if you can't be 'normal' around your family then who can you be normal around.

Right now I am pretending to my best friend that my phone is broken so I don't have to talk to her, I don't even know why I'm doing it, in one of those moods where I wanna bury my head in the sand and stay there. :bash

I have a hard time being around anyone that's not my immediate family.I find it really hard to make eye contact I don't know why.
But I think you should force yourself to talk to your friend or you'll be kicking yourself later on-just my opinion.

ledhead0014 09-10-2013 08:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guitarmatt (Post 1066563394)
I know how you feel. I'm the same way. Then I feel guilty and worry that I was rude

Feeling guilty is what my mind constantly tries to do. After family things or when I go out with friends (rare), or at work I always feel like I was rude. I worked at a place for four years and on my last day I was nervous about how I should said goodbye. I kinda rushed through it and I actually came off as rude. Some girls, one of which I had a thing for, even rolled her eyes at me. I was feeling horrible everyday for a few weeks after this


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