I can truly say in my Family I am one of a kind, nobody is close to being like me. The problem with that is nobody understands how you feel all the time.
Most everyone my age in my family is either dating,married, or married with kids. (not to mention working) Most of them moved out too.
I like to be myself because someone elses life or dream is not necessarily my dream/goal in life. But when people have what you want, but dont have, then you get jealous of them.
Lets start with Marriage/relationships. I really want a Women who takes me for who I am. I do get lonely so having someone to talk to would be great. I still live with my Parents and have no friends, so a girlfriend would also be great because I can get out of the house and visit her instead of being home all day. And if i'm stressed her house would be a nice escape for a few hours. I think I would be more socially confident if I had someone with me at these family gatherings, because then people wont have to feel bad for me sitting alone in a corner. I am not one to jump into marriage, but if I can find the right women who I can enjoy life with, then who knows mabye I will consider it.
Kids. Well, if the most I ever have is a wife, that would be enough for me I think. But to even consider kids we would really have to be sure and BOTH agree to it. Because parenting takes 2 people, not 1.
My whole point is this.
When I see happily married couples my age enjoying life becuase they do a lot together and have eachother to rely on, I really get upset. I crave someone to love and care about me like their spouses do. Going to the movies, hanging out, being romantic, being able to split costs and afford a house, all that seems fun and is nearly impossible to do alone. Being able to brag in a sort, that someone takes you for who you are, is a GREAT feeling and one to be proud of.
I know sometimes realtionships can be stressful, but being alone is more stressful when nobody is there to comfort you in a time of need and you feel alone.
Then those who have kids are always spoiling their kids and everyone in my family loves kids. if you have a kid people will visit you often and pay attention to you.
When I all I see is people in love, enjoying life, I get very sad, and then I just feel like leaving the party. I want to be like those people and have someone there with me. Then I will not be an outcast anymore and people will not think I am abnormal anymore. The looks I get from people are half them feeling sorry for me, and the other half probably hoping I would just find someone so I dont get left out, and probably confused as well.
Going to weddings, depressing. Going to kids parties, depressing. Going to any party alone, depressing. They feel like torture.
Until then, life is sucking the most it ever has. If I could go somewhere and not talk to anyone until I have a partner, I would go.