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Old 01-13-2011, 01:41 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default are you the odd one out in your Family, and feel left out of a normal life?

I can truly say in my Family I am one of a kind, nobody is close to being like me. The problem with that is nobody understands how you feel all the time.

Most everyone my age in my family is either dating,married, or married with kids. (not to mention working) Most of them moved out too.
I like to be myself because someone elses life or dream is not necessarily my dream/goal in life. But when people have what you want, but dont have, then you get jealous of them.

Lets start with Marriage/relationships. I really want a Women who takes me for who I am. I do get lonely so having someone to talk to would be great. I still live with my Parents and have no friends, so a girlfriend would also be great because I can get out of the house and visit her instead of being home all day. And if i'm stressed her house would be a nice escape for a few hours. I think I would be more socially confident if I had someone with me at these family gatherings, because then people wont have to feel bad for me sitting alone in a corner. I am not one to jump into marriage, but if I can find the right women who I can enjoy life with, then who knows mabye I will consider it.

Kids. Well, if the most I ever have is a wife, that would be enough for me I think. But to even consider kids we would really have to be sure and BOTH agree to it. Because parenting takes 2 people, not 1.


My whole point is this.

When I see happily married couples my age enjoying life becuase they do a lot together and have eachother to rely on, I really get upset. I crave someone to love and care about me like their spouses do. Going to the movies, hanging out, being romantic, being able to split costs and afford a house, all that seems fun and is nearly impossible to do alone. Being able to brag in a sort, that someone takes you for who you are, is a GREAT feeling and one to be proud of.
I know sometimes realtionships can be stressful, but being alone is more stressful when nobody is there to comfort you in a time of need and you feel alone.

Then those who have kids are always spoiling their kids and everyone in my family loves kids. if you have a kid people will visit you often and pay attention to you.

When I all I see is people in love, enjoying life, I get very sad, and then I just feel like leaving the party. I want to be like those people and have someone there with me. Then I will not be an outcast anymore and people will not think I am abnormal anymore. The looks I get from people are half them feeling sorry for me, and the other half probably hoping I would just find someone so I dont get left out, and probably confused as well.

Going to weddings, depressing. Going to kids parties, depressing. Going to any party alone, depressing. They feel like torture.

Until then, life is sucking the most it ever has. If I could go somewhere and not talk to anyone until I have a partner, I would go.
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Old 01-13-2011, 04:02 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Any feedback, I really feel alone now with 0 responses.
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Old 01-13-2011, 04:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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I can truly say in my Family I am one of a kind, nobody is close to being like me. The problem with that is nobody understands how you feel all the time.

Yes they just think you can go out there and find friends and relationships with no problem.

When I see happily married couples my age enjoying life because they do a lot together and have each other to rely on, I really get upset. I crave someone to love and care about me like their spouses do. Going to the movies, hanging out, being romantic, being able to split costs and afford a house, all that seems fun and is nearly impossible to do alone. Being able to brag in a sort, that someone takes you for who you are, is a GREAT feeling and one to be proud of.
I know sometimes relationships can be stressful, but being alone is more stressful when nobody is there to comfort you in a time of need and you feel alone.

Yeap especially on week ends and vacations when you basically nothing to do at all.


Until then, life is sucking the most it ever has. If I could go somewhere and not talk to anyone until I have a partner, I would go.
Waa? not talk to someone. You have to talk to people unfortunately to either get friends or relationships. I am still trying to figure out how to talk to people, but I am a lot better than I used to be.
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Old 01-13-2011, 04:32 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SilentOutcast View Post

Until then, life is sucking the most it ever has. If I could go somewhere and not talk to anyone until I have a partner, I would go.
Waa? not talk to someone. You have to talk to people unfortunately to either get friends or relationships. I am still trying to figure out how to talk to people, but I am a lot better than I used to be.
The only reason I said that, is because everyone I see is only Family, so I see them, and i'm reminded of all these sad thoughts. I dont think I can talk to them about my feelings either.
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Old 01-13-2011, 04:52 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by keithp View Post
The only reason I said that, is because everyone I see is only Family, so I see them, and i'm reminded of all these sad thoughts. I dont think I can talk to them about my feelings either.
Better time than never you're 25 and you still have time to fix things, so do whatever it takes to make things better for yourself.

I am sure your family knows something is wrong by now, you just got to go ahead and tell them to get what help that you need. You're more than likely not going to be able fix you're own issues so seek what ever help you can. Don't keep waiting if you need medication or therapy have your family setup an appointment.
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Old 01-13-2011, 04:54 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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If we're talking about immediate family, then no, I'm not the odd one out. My brother dropped out of school, has been to jail, has anger issues, etcetc. But all my cousins are pretty successful so it's kind of depressing.
And even though I'm only 15, I know exactly what you mean about wanting a partner. All my friends have boyfriends/girlfriends and I don't. Everytime I do date a guy, I end up dumping him because I can't show emotions for people easily. I mean how can you love anyone else if you don't even love yourself? On top of that, I tend to be attracted to older, dangerous guys. So yeah, I'm FAR from normal and until that changes, I'm staying away from guys all together. You know... IF that changes..
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Old 01-13-2011, 06:58 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SilentOutcast View Post
Better time than never you're 25 and you still have time to fix things, so do whatever it takes to make things better for yourself.

I am sure your family knows something is wrong by now, you just got to go ahead and tell them to get what help that you need. You're more than likely not going to be able fix you're own issues so seek what ever help you can. Don't keep waiting if you need medication or therapy have your family setup an appointment.
My Family knows about my SA (though most say it doesnt exist and to just "get over it") So right there you can tell talking to them is no help.
I meant I cant talk about being lonely and wanting a relationship.

They tell me to get a job and date someone from there. Although rarely you meet someone at a job and fall in love, dating someone you work with can host a bunch of issues. Like if you get fired, or if you lie for the person if they are out and people know you talk to each other.

It doesnt matter what I do, what matters is someone accepting me. I had crushes on lots of girls, but none had feelings for me and thought of me more as a nerdy brother. Should I have to change how I look to change how they feel about me, No.

It's sad but I was actually tempted to go online dating, but I would be nervous the person on the other end lies about themselves, or are those people who do this stuff as a joke to lead people on.
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:03 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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As hard as it sounds you need to get out into that social world to find that wife of yours.

Easier said then done, I know.
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:38 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Maybe somebody in your family can help with matchmaking... sucks when people see someone who needs help but only stand there and *look* ...it only makes things more uncomfortable.
unless you try online dating you'll have to get out there, go where your ideal match would probably be. What would her interests be?
comic books --> comic book store
outdoors --> the park
an artist --> museum or art store
religious --> church

little things like that.. you're bound to meet someone if you keep positive and enjoy "mingling" -- be attentive and available.
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:43 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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I tried the Park which I like, but it's a small park, and all I see are Men, or married Women with kids. That was the first place I tried.

I'm not so much into art,comic books,church or sports. I like animals, but the pet stores here do not care for the animals well so anyone who works there and doesnt care about the animals will not be good for me.

I am lost as to what type I am and where people like me hang out?
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:46 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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I sure am.
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Old 01-13-2011, 11:30 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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What the guy said. ^

I only feel like the odd one out.
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Old 01-14-2011, 01:55 AM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Yes, totally. I'm the family weirdo who everyone thinks its perfectly ok to patronize everytime they see me.
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Old 01-14-2011, 02:20 AM   #14 (permalink)
 
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Yes, I completely understand. I am definitely the odd 1 out in my family A few people in my immediate family that I have actually talked to this about tried to commiserate with me but they don't understand, like 1 has stage fright but not every day fright. I definitely get jealous about the couple stuff. A couple of years ago I was living away from home, doing a minimum wage job & trying to date guys (probably was only able to do this from some med I was on that later made me feel worse). I could never let my guard down like a normal person around these guys. Even one who told me he loved me couldn't understand how I was uncomfortable with his arm around me unless I was drunk. Then he wouldn't date me because I was a loser (this was a couple of months before I'd actually landed a job). Now I see people on here or on the forum that I visit for my online work who seem to have some kind of SA but are happy little homemakers with a nice guy who comes home & makes them feel better. & then there's Facebook. Ah, it's all just so depressing.
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