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Old 05-25-2011, 06:26 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default Anxiety affecting job performance

First off, I just want to say hello to everyone because this is my first post. I've been lurking for a while and have decided it's time to join.

Lately, my anxiety and depression has been greatly affecting my job performance, which in return has been making me more depressed. I'm currently working for the marketing department for the company my father works at, mostly against my will. I made the terrible mistake of taking a semester off from school, so now I'm at home working full time. Don't get me wrong, I understand if I'm not in school I need to have a job, but the the position I'm currently in is a little less than desirable.

Any ways, back to my frustration. At work I have to make marketing phone calls, calling people asking if they want to buy what we're selling. As someone with anxiety, it's already hard enough to talk to strangers, but it's ten times harder when you know they don't want to talk to you. On top of that, I'm basically doing all the marketing work for my father, so whenever I'm rejected over the phone or too anxious to make the phone calls, I feel like I'm letting down my father.

My father knows I'm depressed and have anxiety, but he doesn't understand it. He thinks the solution to it is medication, and often says things like "can't you smile?", "can't you be happy?" He doesn't get that I'm at a constant mental war with myself, and saying things like that are extremely hurtful. He tells me to "just roll up my sleeves and do it", and all I can think to myself is I wish I could.

So at the moment I'm in the office, two weeks behind on my work, and it feels like I'm letting everyone down around me.
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Old 05-25-2011, 06:27 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Oh and I forgot to mention that yesterday I found out I wasn't accepted into the school I was trying to transfer too, so yea. :/
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Old 05-25-2011, 10:19 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Hi Ken,

I completely know how you feel. When my anxiety is High so is my depression because I am anxious. What has helped me is to stay busy. Is there something you can look forward to? Sorry though to hear about the school. I hope things work out with that. Is there another school you are looking at or just the one you tried to transfer too?
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Old 05-25-2011, 10:58 AM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Thanks for the reply

I know staying busy helps keep your mind off depression, it's just while at work the only thing to keep me busy is what's initially causing these emotions. I feel overwhelmed with the amount of work that's been dumped off onto me, and as I said in the first post, the actual tasks make me feel extremely anxious.

The only thing I really have to look forward to is when I get to leave the office and go home, but lately I don't have the energy to do any of the things I like to do. I feel drained from worrying all day.

As far as school goes, that was pretty much my only plan, it seemed like a sure thing, and everyone around me told me I'd get in no problem. My only options right now are to go to community college, or go back to my original university.

I feel like I'm being whiny in these posts, but when I drove into work this morning I had a positive attitude, I was going to get a lot done, but as soon as I walked through the door my attitude flipped and I'm back where I didn't want to be.
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